Read My Lips by Jane Sigaloff
 

thank you im waiting

Chapter One


Holly moved through the open-concept cubicles of All Talk TV trying to exude the air of someone returning from a breakfast meeting as opposed to someone who was late. Even for the television business, 10:45 a.m. was late.
Shrugging off her coat as she reached her desk, she saw her voice-mail light flashing. She hoped David wasn’t in a disciplinary mood. Her boss firmly believed that making examples of employees’ wrongdoings was good for the soul or team building, or something. But she needed to keep her job. Someone had to finance her Starbucks addiction, provide her with free pens and notepads and keep her warm and dry during the day.
In a single movement, Holly slipped into her chair and turned on her computer. However, stealth employee she apparently was not. Her phone rang immediately, displaying Sarah’s extension number.
“You okay?”
“Nightmare. Overslept.”
The two girls whispered into their handsets in an attempt to make their conversation inaudible.
“I thought you were supposed to be having an early night.” Sarah’s cube was diagonally opposite Holly’s, everything but her hair was masked by a partition. Even with twenty-first century anti-frizz products, Sarah’s unruly curls lived at the mercy of humidity.
“I did, but apparently my alarm clock ran out of juice at 3:57 a.m., but I clearly hadn’t run out of sleep for another five hours. Then I picked the most uncomfortable bra I own, I left the book I still haven’t quite finished reading for our book group tonight on the subway, I can’t find my Softlips anywhere even though I always have one in my coat pocket and one in my purse, and I’m starving but can’t pop out for breakfast because I’ve just lied to David’s secretary, who caught me sneaking in, so I told her I was just back from a breakfast meeting.” Having shared her debacle of a morning with her best office friend, Holly instantly felt better.
“Okay, breathe,” Sarah said in a calming tone. “I have Oreos and rice cakes in my drawer, French Vanilla and Vitamin Enriched Softlips in my purse and, if you can find a minute to read today, you’re welcome to borrow my copy of Mr. Marriage.”
Couching the phone between her shoulder and ear, Holly freed her hands to log on and open her email account. “I am so lucky to have my own in-house Jewish mother.”
“Hey! Make that sister! A heads-up—David has requested a meeting with all the assistant development producers at 3 p.m.”
Holly scribbled a reminder on a Post-it note and added it to the collection framing her computer screen. She had only four hours to come up with a new idea for David’s latest project. His suggestion of a “talk show meets reality TV” had been given the thumbs-up by the network brass. Now the production team had to turn the pitch into real program ideas. Coming up with the perfect concept would make the positive impact she needed to get on the shortlist for a promotion. At this rate, she wasn’t going to get her house-by-the-beach lifestyle while she still looked good in a bikini. In career terms, she’d started out at the bottom and had only worked her way to the crowded middle. Booking and researching guests for talk shows was hardly going to win her an Emmy. But David was giving her a chance, letting her develop her ideas, and she had to make the most of it.
“Before you start panicking again, I think you’ve got some good ideas. David’s going to love them,” Sarah added.
“Thanks.” Holly smiled to herself as she caught sight of her printed proposal at the top of the pile of her inbox. Sarah never collected anything from the printer without reading it. “Gotta go. Other line is flashing.”
“Holly Frederick.” Holly started to scan the rest of her inbox for anything urgent.
“Hol, it’s me.”
“Will?” Holly’s vital signs went into free fall. Focusing on the facts, she managed to rein herself in. He was calling two days early. Which could only mean good news?
His voice didn’t sound upbeat. “I’m glad I caught you in person.”
Would he really have left his decision on her voice mail? Holly gripped the phone tighter.
Will cleared his throat. “I—I just wanted to say that I think it would be better if we ended it.”
No Hello. No How are you? No This is really hard on me. Maybe voice mail would have been gentler.
“I—I… You…” Holly had to force herself to complete a sentence. “I thought we’d agreed that we had until the end of the month.” She should’ve known that today was going to be The-Day-It-All-Went-Wrong. It wasn’t as if the day had started off well.
“Which gives us two more days, but I don’t see the point in making this any more drawn-out than it has been already.” Will’s voice was emotionless.
Powerless against the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, she tilted her head back fractionally to keep them in check, her nostrils flaring as she struggled to keep her breathing as normal as possible. “So, this is it?”
“There’s no need to be so dramatic.”
“We’ve been dating for five years, living together for two. I think that means I can be as friggin’ dramatic as I like.” Despite wanting to yell it at him, Holly kept her volume to a minimum. That’s as undramatic as she was prepared to get—and even then, it was only for the sake of personal privacy. She couldn’t believe how composed Will sounded and how ridiculously inside-out she felt at his pronouncement. It’s not as if she’d wanted to marry him.
“Look, you were right. We needed a break,” he said, interrupting her thoughts.
Besides, she had wanted to be the one making the decision. The whole point of initiating a break was to make Will miss her like crazy and finally understand her point of view. Just because she didn’t get the white-dress thing didn’t mean she couldn’t love him.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking and from where I’m sitting there’s no going back. Too much has changed.”
“So we’re done?” Holly could fake pragmatism with the best of them.
“Are you okay?”
“Sure.” More like anything but. “I’ve got to go.” Hanging up, she grabbed her cell and walked to the bathroom as calmly as she could. This was shaping up to be the worst day of her entire life—and it wasn’t even lunchtime.
* * *
Holly splashed more cold water onto her blotchy face. Within minutes, despair had replaced shock, and now anger was settling in.
She’d planned to suggest they make one last-ditch effort before giving up on five relatively happy—okay, maybe four of them were relatively happy—years together, but she’d been so shocked to hear from Will before the deadline that she’d completely forgotten her well-thought-out argument. Besides, begging just wasn’t her style. What’s worse, Will was probably right, damn him.
And he’d changed.
Drying her face, she took a long look at herself in the mirror. Her hair needed highlighting, she could do with a tan—fake or otherwise, her mascara clearly wasn’t waterproof despite its advertising claims, and her horrible bra was giving her breasts an unnatural shape. That said, she knew she wasn’t unattractive. And she was going to be fine. She had several Destiny’s Child albums, an unopened tub of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food in the freezer and—Holly forced herself to take a deep breath—five people coming to her apartment for drinks and a book group discussion at 7 p.m.
If only Will had called her at home this morning:
a) She might not have overslept.
b) She could have invented a urinary tract infection, called in sick, canceled the book club meeting and been able to self-indulgently wallow in pajama-clad heartache.
She straightened her shoulders and forced a smile on her reflection in the mirror. A night with the girls was exactly what a newly-single gal needed.
The double-beep of her phone threatened her improvised positive attitude. With trepidation, Holly peered at the incoming text message.
PS NEED 2 HEAD 2 APT 2 FETCH SOME THINGS L8R THIS AFTERNOON HOPE IS OK SPK SOON W
The man was a coward. Holly resisted the urge to hurl her cell phone against the tiled interior of the bathroom, not least because right now she needed to call Laura and make plans. Thirty-one years old and she had just been dumped by her boyfriend. Time to call the same person she’d called every time she was dumped since she was thirteen.
* * *
Holly sprinted out of the elevator, through the minimalist lobby and out of the revolving door, straight into the other man in her life. David.
“Holly? Is everything okay?”
Steam snaked out through his Starbucks lid, its rich aroma reminding Holly that she still hadn’t had breakfast.
“Sure,” Holly lied.
“All set for the meeting this afternoon?”
“You bet.” Holly tried to appear as though she were rushing out on urgent business, despite the fact the only thing she carried was her cell phone.
“Great. Great. And I gather you had a breakfast meeting earlier…”
Holly could feel him studying her. She just held her lips in the same forced smile.
“Impressive.” David nodded. “And your work on last season’s show was terrific. But go easy. I don’t want you to burn out before the New Year.”
“Thanks.” Holly made sure she pressed Save on the moment. A compliment from David was as rare as finding a matching pair of shoes that fit in the sale rack.
Though his smile was kind, his eyes were searching hers for an explanation for her mad dash outdoors. Holly started to walk away. The last thing she needed right now was David Brooks being uncharacteristically interested in her every move.
Assertively, Holly marched away from All Talk’s office in Times Square, her cell clamped to her ear, preparing to sound as buoyant as possible and thanking the real estate gods for making the Palmers and the Fredericks neighbors in the ‘80s.
“Laura Palmer, please.”
“Who’s calling?”
“Holly Frederick.”
Relishing the feeling of cold air on her face but wishing she had her tweed coat for the rest of her, Holly headed east on 42nd Street and made straight for a bench in Bryant Park.
Laura’s sunny tones flooded through Holly’s cell. “Hi, gorgeous. I’m so glad you called—you must be psychic. You won’t believe what just happened to me!”

Chapter Two


Laura had just stolen Holly’s line— “you won’t believe what just happened to me” —although it sounded very much like Laura’s news was going to be a lot better than hers.
“Remember Christopher?” Laura’s energy was almost infectious.
“Your boss?” Holly suppressed a shiver and switched her cell phone from one ear to the other. It was a perfect New York City fall day: high pressure, clear blue skies, glorious sunshine, but breathtakingly cold. What’s more, her new tweed coat was currently keeping her office chair warm. The chair she was supposed to be sitting on instead of this bench. “Christopher with the apartment in TriBeCa, parents with a house at the beach?” Compared to Laura, Holly had clearly made it only into the Little League of dating so far.
“Exactly. He asked me out.”
“I thought you two have been having a thing for a while?” Holly sighed. She had called wanting her best friend to commiserate with her; instead Laura’s positivity was threatening to spoil the desolate mood. And, unfortunately, the faint annoyance in her voice was masked by the New York street sounds all around her.
“Okay, so there have been a few unofficial moments. And before you say it, I know it isn’t really ethical, but since I’ve been promoted I don’t report directly to him…and you have to admit, he’s such an improvement on some of the dates I’ve been on before. Well, I mean at least I’ve actually met him.” Laura laughed and Holly recalled her friend’s recent blind-dating and speed-dating disasters. Sex and the city wasn’t quite as easy as the television show claimed.
“Anyway, he sent me flowers this morning and then asked me out. And just when I thought there were no gentlemen left in Manhattan. It’s all I can do not to skip to the watercooler.”
“That’s great, Laura.” Placing her free palm over her eyes, Holly attempted to block out the rest of the world and her day. “Christopher is no less than you deserve.” Despite her genuine delight for her best friend, she knew that her enthusiasm sounded more wooden than Pinocchio. “Does he have a brother by any chance?”
“Holly? Are you okay?”
“Oh, fine.” Suddenly overcome by exhaustion, Holly wasn’t even sure she could dredge up the energy to explain. Except that if Laura didn’t know, it hadn’t really happened, since her childhood friend was privy to everything. “I mean apart from the fact that I overslept this morning, I’ve got a huge deadline and Will called me to tell me it’s over. He’s going to the apartment this afternoon to pick up some stuff.” She absently rubbed her now aching forehead. “Any chance we could meet for a quick drink or nine before the book club? Ha ha.” It was meant to be a laugh, and it had started well, but ended as more of a sob.
“Oh my God, Holly. Where are you? Never mind. I can’t leave work until the London financial markets have closed. Darling, are you sure you’re holding it together?” Even though Holly and Will had had nearly five good years together, Laura was no doubt wishing she had never introduced the two of them.
“Really—” Holly sniffed “—I’m fine. Absolutely shittily fine, but alive, kicking, in denial, relieved and distraught all at the same time. You don’t need to worry.”
“Of course I’m going to worry.”
“I just wanted you to know.”
“And here I am, going on and on about my new guy. You should have stopped me.”
“It’s great news for you.”
“Will must be insane to even consider letting you go. Can’t you dump work and go home? Maybe if you could talk to him face-to-face?”
“Uh-uh. I’ve only just got in, and I’ve got a big meeting at 3 p.m. Plus, I probably don’t need to watch Will decimate our CD collection.”
“So that’s it then?”
When Holly’s phone beeped in her ear for the third time, she decided she couldn’t continue to ignore the rest of the world. Peering at the screen, she saw that the number was blocked. Maybe Will was on someone else’s phone? Maybe he had lost his keys? Or maybe George Clooney had heard that she was feeling a bit down, was in town for the afternoon and wanted to volunteer to appear in a couple of her shows and then, of course, take her on the dream date of a lifetime.
“Laura, can you hold for a second?” Without waiting for a response, she pressed Send to accept the new call. “Holly Frederick.”
“Where are you?” Sarah whispered. “David’s looking for you.” A police siren drowned out her next words. “…outside?” Sarah couldn’t have sounded any more disapproving. “Have you started smoking again?”
“Of course not.” The idea did suddenly seem appealing, though. “Look, if you see him again, tell him I’ll be ten minutes, max.” What was it with him today?
Holly hung up and switched back to Laura. Clearly she should’ve checked her horoscope—or should that have been horrorscope? —this morning. Mars and Saturn must really be pissing Venus off at the moment.
* * *
Panting, Holly ran up the stairs up to her second-floor apartment. Not only was this day determined not to end, she was now late for her monthly book club meeting. At least she’d burned a few hundred calories during the rush home, which was good because she’d felt the need for two restorative shots of caramel in her non-skinny latte earlier. She’d been practically hallucinating about a bottle of wine since she’d stepped foot out of her cubicle. When the going got tough, this girl craved calories.
Laura greeted her at her own front door.
“I’m so sorry, Laura.” Holly tried to even out her breathing, and peeled off several layers as her body did its best to regulate her temperature. “Only David would delay a meeting by two hours and then expect everyone to be available. Thanks for coming early to let everyone in. I owe you big-time.”
“How was the meeting?”
“Not bad. To be continued tomorrow. Too many ideas to get through.”
“Which can only be a good thing, right?” Laura was a banker. Ideas in her office were reserved for what designer items to spend your bonus on.
“I guess.” Holly hung her coat on one of the hooks next to the front door. “So, is everyone here yet?” She could hear the murmur of voices coming from the living room.
Laura nodded before enveloping Holly in the sort of bear hug reserved for best friends in a crisis. Just as she felt her emotions begin to surrender to the stress of her day, Holly wrestled herself free.
“Not now.”
Laura took a step back and pretended to fix her hair instead. “Got it.”
Holly glanced at her best friend. Something was different. “What’s going on with your chin?”
Reflexively hiding her chin with her fingers, Laura blushed. “Can you still see it?”
“They might be a little on the puffy side today, but I still have eyes.”
Laura giggled sheepishly.
“Is it an unidentified dating injury?”
“I guess my sensitive skin just isn’t used to Chris’s five o’clock shadow.”
Holly smiled. “The rest of you, on the other hand, looks fabulous.” Her best friend was glowing.
“So,” Laura hedged, “please don’t take this the wrong way—I mean, you look amazing all things considered, but you’ve looked better.”
Holly nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ve felt better, too. Although I can’t help feeling that after months of uncertainty and emotional yo-yoing, at least we can now both move forward.”
“That’s my girl.”
“I just wish I’d been the one to break up with him. That said, I don’t want to tell everyone yet. Well, not tonight at least.”
“You don’t?” Laura asked.
“Not really. I’m not sure I’m ready to have my relationship picked apart by everyone yet.”
Laura nodded but looked distracted. No doubt thinking of her own situation.
“Look, I may not be entirely myself this evening but deep down, I know it’s not the end of the world. It’s definitely for the best. I mean, I could have married him two years ago when he asked.”
“Except it’s not what you wanted. And you don’t believe in marriage.”
“It’s outdated. I’m not interested in belonging to anyone.”
“Holly Frederick, superfeminist.”
“Or at least I’m not interested in belonging to Will,” she admitted aloud for the first time.
Laura nodded. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
“Never say never, and all that, but I just can’t see myself doing the aisle thing.”
“Maybe if you meet the right man…”
Holly smiled at Laura’s new date-related optimism and applied a fresh coat of Softlips before entering the arena. If only her life could be as reliable as her lip balm.
“Meanwhile, just think of the money you’ve saved. One white dress equals a hell of a lot of footwear.”
Holly let out a genuine laugh for the first time that day. Laura had always managed to find a silver lining in everything. She squeezed her best friend’s arm gratefully as she prepared to make her entrance. “Thanks for being you, Laura.”

Chapter Three


“To Holly.” Katie stood, brandishing her glass of white wine so assertively that the upward force almost caused the wine to splash over the rim.
“Holly.” The other members of the book group joined in the toast.
Ambushed in her own living room. As Sarah handed her a glass of chilled wine—the only remedy she hadn’t been able to procure from her desk drawer at the office—Holly resisted the overwhelming urge to glare at Laura.
“Because you’re much better off without him.” Ella, Holly’s upstairs neighbor and founding member of their book group, couldn’t have been more enthusiastic. “Just think you’ll never have to watch another Vin Diesel film.”
Holly was slightly surprised at her fervor. Ella had always seemed to get along well with Will. Two struggling artists in an unjust world.
“Or the Mets.” Katie was a die-hard Yankee fan. Or at least she preferred their logo. “Or order deep-crust pizzas, or listen to Nirvana.”
Her designer glasses propped atop her head to keep her long blond hair off her face, Katie seated herself in the armchair and started flicking through a magazine as Holly reminded herself that her little sister was only trying to help.
“We could always leave the discussion until next month. You know, if you think it might be too hard on you.” Mona’s concern was wide-eyed. Her messy short dark hair the only clue that she had two small children, she looked immaculate in fashionable jeans and a sweater, and her manicure was the best in the room.
“No, really, I’m fine.” Holly knew Mona less than the others and yet her empathy was tangible and threatened to send her over the edge. “I’m much better when I’ve got something to do.”
“I just wish we’d picked a different book now.” Laura grinned, as if hoping to disperse some of the tension.
“I think it’s pretty fitting, actually.” Holly suddenly felt very up to discussing the book. “Maybe the battle of the sexes has really gone full circle. Now that women have realized the extent and the diversity of their abilities, maybe they don’t want to limit their potential by settling down to look after a man. I, for one, don’t blame them.”
Ella, still single at forty-two, whooped approvingly, the bangles on her wrist jangling as she punched the air. “You go, girlfriend.”
As Holly took her place on the couch, she couldn’t help but notice the others watching her every move. “Hey, we were already on a break and things hadn’t been good for a few months. And if you were wondering, yes, Laura has a very red chin because she’s been kissing a new man…” Diversion tactics seemed the best course of action at this point—and they had the added bonus of reaping some revenge for blabbing.
Mona giggled as Laura blushed. Katie replaced her glasses to peer at Laura’s chin before rummaging in her bag and silently handing over her Touche Éclat. To Holly’s amusement, Laura took it gratefully.
“I’d just let it breathe.” Sarah, ever practical, was the first with real advice. “Until you next see him, of course. You should also seriously consider buying him one of those extreme razors for Christmas.”
“I’d make it Thanksgiving. I’m not sure your chin is going to make it until the end of December.” Ella laughed heartily at her own joke. She seemed to be even more high-energy and louder than usual, something Holly hadn’t considered possible.
“Thanks for the advice. Now, can we please move on?” Laura poked Holly’s arm just a little bit too hard for it to be merely an affectionate gesture.
“You didn’t think you were going to get away keeping any secrets with Ella in the room, did you?” Holly grinned. “I just thought I’d get in there before she did. Besides, read-my-lips,” she enunciated slowly, “I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m glad to see you’re so upbeat.” Mona raised her glass to Holly. “Relationships can get pretty messy.” She took a sip before continuing. “At least Will never got your name wrong when you were in bed together.”
“What?” Ella’s voice stretched the one-syllable word into an octave.
Suddenly shy, Mona studied the floor, nervously twirling the hair at the nape of her neck. “It only happened one time. Joe and I hadn’t been together for that long and you should have seen the look on his face when he realized he’d shouted out the wrong name. But I guess everyone makes mistakes.”
“There are mistakes and there are mistakes.” Clearly shocked, Sarah was still doing her best to be diplomatic.
“I would have walked out.” Katie shook her head incredulously. Like all college students before her, she was sure her generation was the most assertive yet. “What are you, some sort of martyr? Where’s your self-respect?”
“Hey, easy there,” Ella cut in. “Life’s complicated sometimes.” Holly had always thought that Ella would have been the perfect Oprah if Oprah hadn’t gotten there first. Instead, she did voice-over work, assistant-managed a bookstore and performed the occasional bit part in off-Broadway plays, eternally waiting for her big break.
Holly kept silent, grateful to Mona that the attention was no longer solely on her. Turning toward the kitchen, she noticed an enormous and beautiful bunch of flowers dwarfing the breakfast bar. Probably from Laura. Plus enough ******s and bottles of wine to replace any heartache with a heart attack. She was surprised “I Will Survive” wasn’t playing in the background. Despite herself she was grateful not to be alone. There’d be plenty of time for that, starting tomorrow. And there really was no time like girl-time.
“It sure is.” Mona said, sitting up straighter.
“And there are always two sides to every story,” Sarah said, empathetic as ever.
Katie made a retching noise. “Oh, puh-lease. Surely you would be out of there in a flash if you had any self-respect.”
“Hey, this is my life you’re talking about. Wait until you’ve been around the block a couple more times.”
Katie examined her cuticles in a gesture of tacit apology. Holly wished her sister would just come out and say sorry, but Mona, apparently satisfied, continued. “It wasn’t cut-and-dried,” Mona said in her own defense. “Sarah’s right. Plus, we have children. And marriage is for life, not just for Christmas.”
Holly decided to break up the witches of the Westside before it got nasty. None of them knew Mona well enough to be playing judge or jury. “Don’t forget, men are simple creatures. We all know they can only concentrate on one thing at a time. I mean Will couldn’t even chew and change the TV channel simultaneously.” This breakup ordeal was looking better and better all the time.
Mona flashed her hostess a grateful smile as the group shared a laugh.
“Jonathan can’t read the paper if the radio is on,” Sarah said with a grin, “whereas I have been known to mentally write a shopping list while having sex.” She looked as if she wanted to take them back as soon as the words left her mouth. Despite being only in her late twenties, she was the most prudish of the group, and they all knew it.
Holly came to her rescue. “Life indeed seems to be less of a rich tapestry and more of a patchwork quilt. But I guess that’s what keeps it interesting.”
“Right.” Ella, group member with the loudest voice and the clearest diction, waded in to get their evening back on course. “Has everyone got their copy of the book with them?”
Four dog-eared copies of Mr. Marriage were pulled from bags around the room. Sarah moved closer to Holly so she could share her copy.
Mr. Marriage had shot straight to the top of the New York Times bestseller list and stayed there. A MANual for the twenty-first century, it claimed that men were now keener than women to tie the knot. Speculation over its anonymous author had prompted debate from coast to coast, shore to shore, book club to book club. Its distinctive red-and-blue cover could be seen everywhere.
“Well, I really enjoyed it,” Sarah started. “And it was pretty accurate, too. Jonathan was dying to get married long before I was and we were only twenty-five when we did.”
“Freaks,” Katie half muttered to herself as she eased off her Ugg boots and tucked her feet underneath her. At twenty-one years old, her longest relationship had lasted five months. Holly knew she couldn’t imagine volunteering to spend a lifetime with someone until she was at least thirty. And that was forever away.
Ella glared at her then focused on Sarah. “Why do you think you and Jonathan decided to get hitched so young?”
Sarah shrugged. “Wanting to have a family before we’re thirty, wanting to enjoy being married before we had kids, plus, both our parents married young.”
“Do you think we all base our expectations for marriage on our parents?” Ella looked thoughtful.
Laura was the first off the mark. “Definitely. Mine are divorced and I no longer look at marriage as the be-all and end-all. I figure if you’re married for ten to twenty years that’s pretty good.”
Mona nodded. “My parents’ divorce made me more determined to make my marriage work. But I think the author makes some very valid points. Marriage isn’t high on most women’s agenda anymore until their early thirties, when they start thinking about having children. With guys, it’s like they have a checklist of accomplishments and a wife is one of them. If they’re falling behind their friends, they start to panic.”
“Until, of course, another beautiful woman comes along.” Holly couldn’t help it. She and Katie had watched their father lust after women throughout their parents’ marriage while her mother, trapped and resolutely determined to be a good mother, had pretended not to care. Men might want to be married, but did they really want to be faithful?
A thoughtful murmur rippled through the group. Holly paused for effect before continuing as Mona started to fiddle with her watch strap.
“And men are definitely keener to have children earlier, probably because they don’t have to actually do anything except have sex. If men had to give birth…well, for a start they’d want danger pay and a maternity leave that rivals Sweden’s.” Holly downed what was left in her glass.
“So…” Ella seized control of the discussion as Sarah refilled everyone’s glasses. “Do we think the author is a man or a woman?”
“I think she’s a woman.” Laura was emphatic. “There’s a lot of emotional intelligence in the book.”
“But why bother keeping your identity a secret?” The concept of anonymity was clearly wasted on Katie. Growing up in the era of celebrity overexposure, she felt it was her right to know everything about everyone in the public eye—preferably with a selection of revealing photos alongside, too.
Laura was the first to offer a reply. “Keeping the author anonymous was great PR. Look how fast it’s selling.”
Mona shook her head. “I don’t think it’s about PR. I think it’s a matter of hurt pride. If you’d been rejected several times and had bared your soul on paper, do you think you’d want to admit to it? Maybe writing the book was the author’s way of dealing with what had happened to him. I think it’s got to be a man behind it.”
Laura shrugged her shoulders, unconvinced. “Even more reason to come out and tell all. Unless…” Laura had a new theory “…it was written by a public figure.”
“Most public figures can’t get enough publicity.” Katie might have been the youngest there, but she definitely understood celebrities and media frenzies.
Holly zoned in and out of the discussion. As her gaze flitted around the room, she realized her apartment was intact. The bookcases were still overflowing; the CD collection was still towering precariously next to the fireplace. The only things that seemed to be missing were a few photos, and their absence was bound to be due to tactful tidying by Laura and Katie. Holly bet Will hadn’t noticed them for months before he’d moved out for their break.
The discussion paused mid-sentence as a familiar noise, initially barely audible over the lively debates, caught everyone’s attention. The telephone. To pick up or not to pick up—that was the question. There was no such thing as a quick call with her mother and anyone else could probably wait or would call her cell. After the fourth ring, the answering machine kicked in and seconds later, Will’s voice filled the apartment.

Chapter Four


“Holly? Please pick up if you’re there. It’s me.” Will’s familiar voice echoed through the sudden silence.
Five pairs of eyes observed Holly as she stared at the answering machine in the corner of the breakfast bar.
“Your cell is off and…damn…”
A sharp intake of breath. Holly wondered if he’d started smoking again. He’d only really given it up because she did.
“I really need to talk to you.”
For a man who’d left a career in banking to become a professional writer, Will had turned out to be lousy at communication. For the first time since getting home, Holly wished she was on her own.
“I need to collect some stuff.” An awkward pause. “This evening if at all possible…”
Holly shook her head, words deserting her. If she hadn’t thought so earlier in the day, she certainly knew now that the man’s timing was dreadful.
“If you’re not around, maybe I could get Ella to give me a hand. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m just talking to this tape. I guess I thought, well, you know, you’d be at home.”
“Life goes on, you egotist.” Laura had clearly meant to think it. Luckily answering machines didn’t offer two-way communication.
Suddenly, Ella pounced on the handset. “You’ve got a lot of nerve—”
Holly wanted to tell her to go gently, and then again she didn’t. Ella was capable of being far more terrifying than Holly could ever be.
“You can’t just expect to turn up whenever you feel like it. This isn’t your home anymore. Your choice.”
Grateful for the mildly anesthetic properties of white wine, Holly felt no need to intervene.
As Ella wandered down the hall, away from her audience, Laura linked her arm in Holly’s. “Want us all to leave?”
Holly shook her head numbly.
“Sure?”
Holly really didn’t know what she wanted. While she could honestly cope with the thought of Will and her being over, she couldn’t even begin to deal with the concept of him coming over to the apartment to pack up his stuff while she was there.
Mona and Sarah gave up pretending to study the book jacket intently and started to pack up their things. Katie sat tight, as unobtrusively as she could. It was a well-known fact that one of the best things about having an older sister with an apartment in Manhattan was always having somewhere to stay. And right now, there was free entertainment, too. This was just as gripping as anything Holly had worked on for TV.
“Right, well, that’s taken care of.” Ella was back in their midst. “Hey, just a minute.” She stood between Sarah, Mona and the door to the hallway. “Where do you two think you’re going?”
“I think—we think—we should do this another time.” Sarah cradled her gaily printed and obviously overloaded canvas shoulder bag against her like a shield. “Maybe next week if we can find time. Meanwhile Mona and I are going to grab a drink somewhere nearby…”
Sarah nodded encouragingly at Mona, who completed the thought. “Everyone’s welcome. I personally could do with a little more girl-time and group therapy before I go home.”
Holly was oblivious. “How is he? How did he sound?” she couldn’t help asking. “I hope you weren’t too hard on him.”
Ella folded her arms across her ample chest, and Mona and Sarah stopped in their tracks to hear Ella’s response. “He’s a grown man, he can deal. Besides, you can ask him yourself in a minute. He’s only a couple of blocks away. He needs to swing by and collect a few things.”
“Right now? But I thought…” Holly had never liked surprises.
Ella shrugged. “Apparently he’s leaving town tomorrow for a few days.”
Holly’s brain struggled to stay on board the roller coaster that in one day had become her life. One thing she knew for certain: She was pissed about being the last person to know everything.
Laura got to her feet. “Right, I’m with Mona and Sarah on this one. But I have a better idea. Why don’t we just move to your apartment, Ella? Leave Holly down here to face him on her own and then she can come up and join us afterwards if she feels like it, or just shout if things get tricky. I don’t think we all need to be sitting here when he arrives. This isn’t Jerry Springer.”
“He already knows we’re here.” Ella sat down and picked up her copy of Mr. Marriage, looking ready to continue with the book club despite everyone else. “Besides I’m sure it’ll help Holly not to be all alone.”
“Come on. Be reasonable. This is her crisis, not ours. Let’s go.” She motioned to the rest of the group to support her. Apparently irritated by Ella’s insensitivity, Laura went to the kitchen in search of her bag.
“I’m not sure that invading my apartment is such a good idea.” Ella was definitely stalling.
Laura was definitely losing her temper. “What’s the problem?”
“Well, for one, the apartment is a mess…”
“Who cares. We just want a place to sit.”
“Plus you have no kids and no puppy. Your mess won’t even register on my scale of untidiness.” Mona sidestepped Ella and joined Sarah nearer the door.
“It’s just, well, tonight isn’t really appropriate.”
Holly was sure she could see a pink tint in Ella’s cheek.
“I’m sort of seeing someone later. In fact, they might have arrived already,” Ella finally admitted.
“You have a girlfriend?” Without so much as a second thought, Katie asked the million-dollar question that none of the others had ever had the gall to ask.
To their collective surprise, Ella laughed. “No, although I guess I understand the question given the state of my previously nonexistent love life.” A proud smile played at the corners of her mouth. “I have a boyfriend.”
“You’re dating someone?” Holly hoped she hadn’t sounded too incredulous but Ella wasn’t normally the secretive sort. And how had this new paramour escaped her attention? The woman lived a floor above her. Maybe she’d bought him on eBay? Or met him online. Perhaps he’d never visited her apartment. Normally Ella shared every little detail of her life with the group, whether or not they actually wanted to know.
“We don’t bite.” Laura seemed even more determined to move to Ella’s apartment. She apparently wanted a look at this mysterious boyfriend.
“It’s just, well, it’s all quite new and, it’s complicated…” Ella couldn’t believe that, at forty-two, she still hadn’t learned to think before she spoke.
Katie folded her arms. “What is he, married?” Her tone was accusatory.
“No, no, nothing like that.” Holly watched Ella fiddle nervously with her necklace, sliding the emerald pendant backwards and forwards along its gold chain. Something was going on.
The group’s attention was hijacked as a snivel escaped Mona and she sat back down on the sofa, apparently defeated.
“Mona? What’s up?” Holly crouched down beside her.
Mona blew her nose loudly on an immaculately folded Kleenex she produced magically from her sleeve. “It’s Joe. He’s been seeing someone else.”
See, this was why Holly never wanted to get married. “Are you sure? Maybe he’s just really busy at work.” Holly racked her brains for other best-case scenarios.
“It’s who he’s busy with that worries me. I didn’t want to talk about it.” She blew her nose again. “Or at least I didn’t think I wanted to talk about it. We’ve been having some problems. The name mix-up was more recent than I suggested. But we’re a family. And I want us to stay that way.”
“Every couple has problems.” Sarah joined Mona on the couch. “And you’ve been married for a while.”
“Five years.” Mona blew her nose again. “I thought I was handling it all. Clearly not.”
“So the seven-year itch is a little early.”
Visibly grateful at Sarah’s efforts to lighten the tone, Mona sat up and pulled herself together. “I know, and we’re talking about it, which is helping everything. We’ve even started seeing a counselor. I’m sorry.” She managed a watery smile.
“Don’t be ridiculous. These things always seem much more manageable when they’re out in the open.” Sarah should have been a therapist, not a secretary, Holly thought for the second time that evening.
Mona nodded. “Can we keep this between ourselves?”
“Nothing you have told us leaves this room. Right, ladies?”
Sarah received four nods in response.
“It’s just that he’s so angry with me,” said Mona.
“Angry with you?”
“Worse, it’s not wholly unjustified.”
“You’re having an affair, as well?’
“No, no, nothing like that.”
“Well, what?”
“You have to promise, really promise me, you won’t say a word to anyone.” Mona looked around at her captive audience.
Katie sat up, applying her Cool Cherry lip balm slowly, deep in thought. “You’re a pole dancer?”
“Of course not. But I have been leading something of a double life.”
A momentary silence engulfed them all. Holly was only too happy to have been temporarily drawn into Mona’s crisis. What other dirty secrets would be revealed tonight?
“Mona,” Sarah interrupted, much to Katie’s and Ella’s annoyance. “I’m coming right back to you but press pause, just for a second. Will is going to be here any second and Mona has a big confession to make. Time isn’t on our side so, Holly, what’s the plan? Do we stay or do we go?”
Holly shrugged.
Sarah retied her big hair, pulling it away from her face. “We can easily reschedule the book club meeting. I’ll send an e-mail first thing tomorrow, when we’ve all got our Outlook calendars in front of us.”
Instead of deep thoughts about Will, all Holly could think of was how she missed paper calendars.
“And the rest of us can just find a bar now.” Sarah picked up her bags again and gave Holly a hug. “You really don’t need us here, honey. I’ll see you at the office. Or call me anytime on the cell if you want to chat. Mona, Laura, Katie, Ella, come with me. I think we need to talk this through.”
“Thanks, Sar.” Mona and Holly exchanged glances as they simultaneously expressed their gratitude.
A key sliced into the lock on the front door. The women looked at each other, then around Holly’s one-bedroom apartment. Too late. There was nowhere to hide.
Ella held her hand up in front of her. “Look, he knows we’re all here, so I suggest we all just sit back down and get on with it, instead of standing around like some awkward not-so-welcoming committee.”
Holly’s heart rate increasing, she stood a few feet inside her own front door and watched it open in slow motion as Will, still attached to the keys on the other side, stepped into her hallway.

Chapter Five


Holly hadn’t seen Will for nearly a month and while she might not have admitted it, even to herself, she’d hoped that he hadn’t been coping well without her. His appearance, however, told a different story.
His blond hair had been stylishly cut, his shabby Timberlands had been replaced with loafers, his leather jacket was new and he was even wearing aftershave, something that in five years she had failed to encourage him to do. The selection of bottles she’d donated to the cause were still collecting dust in their—her—bathroom cabinet.
“Sorry to interrupt your evening like this.” If Will was fazed by the scene before him, his disguise was perfect.
With every woman in her apartment clutching a copy of Mr. Marriage, she was sure Will must have been thinking he’d stumbled across a convention of wanna-be-Desperate Housewives. But she was fine. Really. Well, she was going to be just as soon as he got out of her personal space.
“Your timing has always been lousy.” It felt good to say it.
“I totally meant to come over while you were at work, but I got delayed in a meeting. And I’m leaving town tomorrow for a bit.”
A bit of what? Holly didn’t want to know. And then again, she did. All day she’d been coming up with questions for Will and now that he was there, she couldn’t articulate one of them.
Will scratched the back of his head. “So…” Five years reduced to awkward monosyllables. He gestured in the direction of their room. “Do you mind if I pack a bag or two?”
Holly folded her arms across her chest. “Help yourself.” She was still wearing her deformed-breasts bra. And she hadn’t had time to wash her hair this morning. Damn.
* * *
“So, do I get any reasons, any clue?” Closing the bedroom door behind her, Holly confronted Will. She knew she was supposed to take his decision with dignity and poise, and she would, in a minute. “As for calling me at work, that is championship cowardice. And then nothing—no discussion, not a word of explanation.”
“Knowing you, given the opportunity, you might have tried to talk me into trying to be happy with mere cohabitation one more time.” Will sighed. “But it hasn’t been right for months and you know it. We want different things.” Will removed a few shirts from their hangers and put them in a new leather duffel bag.
Holly nodded. He was right. She’d thought about calling an end to the relationship several times. But somehow it had always been the wrong moment. And now she’d had to relinquish control, which she hated as much as anything.
“We’ve just been going through the motions. We’d become a habit. And not a particularly good one.” He stuffed a pair of jeans in the bag. “You know how much I hate goodbyes, but this is definitely the best thing for both of us.”
Will’s confidence and apparent lack of emotion infuriated Holly more than his actual decision.
Finally, Holly found her voice again. “So where are you going tomorrow?”
“So, we’re okay? This is okay?” Will’s eyes searched Holly’s for acceptance, but he didn’t answer the question.
“I think ‘okay’ might be pushing it.” Holly experienced an unexpected wave of relief. The wavering back and forth over what to do was over. “But I’m not going to hire a hit man if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m mostly furious that you’ve handled this so badly.”
“I’m sorry. But this really isn’t the time or the place to go into it all.” Will started packing his collection of sneakers.
“I would have thought it was a perfect opportunity.”
Will shook his head. “For a start, there are probably five other people listening to every word.”
Will closed the closet door. “I promise I’ll call you from London in a couple of days. We can talk then. And you’ll have had a bit more time to get used to the idea.”
“You’re going to London?” Holly couldn’t have been more shocked.
Will’s expression clouded over as he realized his mistake.
“But we’ve always talked about going there…” She clamped her mouth shut, not wanting to appear too wistful.
“I know.” Will hesitated. “I just thought I’d go and clear my head.”
Holly watched him avoiding making eye contact with her. “Are you going with someone?”
Will shook his head. “A change will do me good.”
How many changes did a man need? Holly folded her arms. “You’ve barely been earning enough to live on, and now you’re about to fly across the Atlantic. Plus, look at you—a whole new wardrobe. Did you win the lottery?”
Will finally met her gaze. “I’m going with work. They’re paying for everything.”
“Surely the Beer Tap doesn’t have a branch in London?”
Will smiled. Three nights a week behind the bar had given him time to write and some spending money while waiting for his big break. “Of course not.”
“Well then, last time I looked you were an impoverished writer.”
Will ran his hand through his hair distractedly. “That’s half the problem.”
“It was your choice to give up your job in the city. And I respected you for that.”
“The problem wasn’t the writing. It was the fact that you hadn’t looked at me, really noticed me, for months. Things have changed. They’re changing all the time.”
“No shit.” Holly’s cocktail of relief and remorse was fast returning to anger. She should have ended their relationship months ago when she’d first started having doubts, instead of worrying about how he’d manage without her and giving him the opportunity to have the final say. Another life lesson learned the hard way.
Will rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t think you’ve ever understood me properly. You’ve been great to me—there is no doubt, and I love you for that.”
“Don’t even think about patronizing me.”
Will expelled a breath of frustration at her stubbornness. “We just want different things.”
“Is this all because I didn’t want to marry you? You know I don’t want to marry anyone.” Realizing her volume, Holly took it down a couple of notches. “So you really shouldn’t take it so personally.”
“It was only one factor.”
Holly paused. Everyone knew men didn’t just leave, didn’t just want to be on their own, unless there was football on television and a beer in their hands, or… “Have you met someone else?” Holly shook her head in disbelief. This was the sort of conversation that happened in films and in soap operas, not in her apartment. Plus, she’d always vowed not to be the jealous or the desperate type. “Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t?” Will sounded surprised.
“It’s over. I’m not your keeper or your mother. But this isn’t your home either, or cheap storage. I want everything out of here.”
“I’ll arrange to get everything as soon as I get back.”
Holly glanced at her watch. “Why not now?”
Will shook his head. “There’s barely room for my toothbrush at Russell’s.”
“There’s not much anyway. A few clothes. Your espresso machine. Books, DVDs, CDs.”
“I’ll buy new ones.”
“Have you found a Sugar Mommy?” Sounding like the jealous type again, she thought, but couldn’t help herself. Besides, it was natural to be curious.
“Please, I don’t want us to fight.”
“Easy to say when you’re calling the shots.” Holly threw herself on the bed and head-butted her pillow in frustration. “I know you’re keeping something from me.”

Chapter Six


Holly sat up on the bed and looked Will in the eye. “I know you’re keeping something from me,” she said again.
“Holly, please…” Will closed his suitcase and stuffed a few more sweaters into his duffel before coaxing the zipper across the top. “Let’s talk in a couple of days.” Giving Holly a kiss on the forehead, he left the room and her apartment. It was the sort of farewell you would expect from your father if he was leaving to get a paper, not from an only-just-ex-boyfriend about to fly across the Atlantic.
Falling back onto the mattress, Holly closed her eyes. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.
She heard Will walk through the apartment as the book club carried on an improvised animated discussion about Mr. Marriage. The second the door closed, the charade ended. After a few moments of silence, everyone started talking at the same time, all trying to ease the pressure of the situation. Holly guessed no one was prepared to discuss what had actually just happened.
“So I was reading about this new hair treatment…” Sarah was apparently going for the mundane “…which is supposed to be amazing. You know, there only has to be a glass of water in the room and wham, I have a perm, so I thought maybe I’d give it a go unless any of you have heard any scary stories. I think it originated in Japan.”
“Hey, I saw that feature in Jane last month.” Holly had always thought Katie felt being a college student meant it was her divine right to read every magazine on the shelves.
Holly listened to their chatter from her bed. When she next opened her eyes, Laura was standing over her, with a sympathetic pout.
Holly propped herself up on her elbows. “Hey, you, stop it with the big eyes. I’m fine.”
“And I’m Cindy Crawford.”
“He’s going to London.”
“We heard.” Laura perched herself on the edge of the bed.
Holly frowned. She should have known her conversation with Will had not been private. “And he’s keeping something from me, something big. His whole mood was different, his demeanor, his sudden wealth—everything.”
“It’s not really your problem now, though, is it?”
“I guess not.”
“Come on. Get up and join us. Ella’s about to start dissecting Chapter Three.”
“What’s that?”
Laura smiled. “‘Settling Down Versus Settling for Less: Does Age Matter?’”
Holly rolled her eyes long-sufferingly. “Of all the books we could have selected this month.”
Laura shrugged. “Hey, it could have been The Joy of Sex.”
Holly laughed and followed her best friend back to the couch.
* * *
“I think the author has a point. Marriage is all about timing.” Ella had taken charge, as usual.
“Very romantic.” Said Katie wryly.
“Face it. It’s all about babies now. No one gets married until they’re thinking about having a family.” Ella leaned in. “Mona, do you mind me asking if you found it hard adjusting to being a kept woman after you had kids?”
Sarah butted in. “I can’t wait!”
“Sarah? Are you trying to tell us something?” Holly asked, breaking the silence that had descended.
Sarah colored. “Damn.”
“Wow! No way.” Holly supposed she shouldn’t be so surprised, but she was. Everything was changing. Will was gone. Her best office friend was having a baby. Ella had a boyfriend. She was single…
“I do actually have sex, you know.” Sarah’s grin soon turned to an expression of dismay. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone yet.”
“I thought sex stopped straight after the honeymoon.” Ella laughed.
“Well, congratulations.” Holly raised her glass at her office buddy. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope without you in the cube opposite me every day, though.”
“I’m not going anywhere for a while. I’m only six weeks.”
“And you’ve been drinking.”
Holly flinched. Mona was the only actual mother in the room and her tone had definitely been friendlier.
“I’ve been pretending. Just filling up all your glasses. You’ve been far too busy drinking and, well, absorbing the conversation to notice.”
Mona relaxed and steered the group back on track. “In answer to your question, Ella, it is hard when you’ve been financially independent for years. Not that I’ve really ever leaned on Joe entirely. That’s been half the problem—I’ve never missed working in an office and I love my babies to bits, but sometimes I felt, I feel, that I just need more…”
“So…?” Katie encouraged.
“So I just started doing some work from home.”
“And that’s what Joe was mad about?” Sarah asked.
“Not the fact I was working, but the fact that I didn’t tell him. And, well, it’s probably not exactly what he’d been hoping for me.”
“Surely what you do in your own time is your business?” Holly had never liked having to explain herself to anyone. Will hadn’t understood that.
“Even if I write erotic fiction?”
Katie giggled. “You do not!”
Mona did not flinch “I use a pseudonym.”
Ella arched an eyebrow. “Excellent. Well, maybe we should discuss one of your books next month.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good…” Mona closed her mouth.
Holly was impressed, if surprised. “But you’re just so…”
“So what?” Mona demanded.
“So, well, motherly…” Holly finished.
Ella had invited Mona to join their group after meeting her in the bookstore, where Mona had been distributing flyers for an infant yoga workshop. Holly was trying to wrap her head around the Mom-promoting-infant-yoga and Woman-Writing-Erotica connection.
“And mothers can’t write about sex fantasies?”
Holly laughed, the tension instantly diffused. “Of course. Anyway, so how did he bust your cover?”
“Joe found some drafts when he was hunting for something on my computer. I wasn’t hiding it from him, and I really didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”
“But you hadn’t told him, either.” Sarah was asking all the probing questions. Holly was sure she could add attorney to her list of prospective careers.
“That’s exactly what he said.”
Ella interrupted. “Ah, the joys of double standards.”
“Hey!” Holly jumped to Mona’s defense.
“I’m entitled to my own opinion.” Ella loved to be provocative. “It’s just that we all want everything on our own terms these days. What if he’d been writing porn? Would we all think that was acceptable?”
“Erotic fiction isn’t porn.” Laura, after a few glasses of wine, had an opinion on everything. “It’s a pity so many men just don’t know when they’ve got a good deal. I mean Will clearly couldn’t cope with a beautiful, intelligent, generous girlfriend.”
“But—” Ella closed her book firmly “—I’m sure he had his reasons. And it sounds like he and Holly were both ready to move on. They hadn’t really been happy for ages. It’s just always difficult making a change.”
Holly wondered at what point she was going to be consulted about her side of the story.
Laura hadn’t finished yet. “You know he was always was a bit too selfish. Some people call it confidence but in his case, I’m not sure. You’re going to be far better off without him, Holly. I know I shouldn’t say this, as I was the fool who introduced you two in the first place, but you can do better. You deserve to be appreciated for who you are. Settling is not allowed.”
Holly sat on the floor and leaned back against a couch, opposite Laura. “I didn’t settle. If I had, I’d probably be playing wife, and Will would be coming home at the end of the evening instead of going to stupid London.”
“I don’t think Will was selfish. He just had focus.” Ella was firm. “And it’s not easy trying to make it in life as an artist. I should know.”
“Whose side are you on?” Laura’s tone was combative and not really wanting to get in the middle of anything, Holly got up to get her a glass of water. It was definitely time to start diluting the white wine coursing through Laura’s veins before she said something she’d regret.
“It’s not about sides. It’s about society.” Ella was determined to hold her own.
“Hey, you can’t generalize. Women, like men, aren’t all the same.” Laura hadn’t given up yet. “I mean Christopher, my new guy, the one with the exfoliating stubble—” she giggled “—he’s far more of a romantic than I am and I love that.”
“No one said anything about everyone being the same. You just meet different types of people at different times in your life. I’m the eldest here, unmarried, childless and having a bit of fun dating a younger guy, yet I have no intention of trying to pin him down or marching him up any aisles.” Ella stopped.
Holly returned with a glass of water and handed it to Laura before sitting back down, this time opposite Ella. “Come on, time out, you two. And I, for one, want to know a bit more about this mystery man. If I hadn’t had such a crap day today I’d almost be offended.”
Ella shrugged nervously. “My luck had to change eventually, I guess.” Ella opened her copy of Mr. Marriage. “Let’s get back to the book.”
“Let’s not,” Holly said playfully. “Time for show and tell. Or at least tell.”
The other women closed their editions as Ella nervously emptied the rest of the wine bottle into her glass.
“What does he do? Where does he live? Where did you meet? How much younger? Mona and I are tired of talking about ourselves.” Holly sat back expectantly.
Stalling, Ella addressed the coffee table. “Well…”
As Ella hesitated uncharacteristically, Holly felt a horrible sinking feeling. She was putting one and one together and she didn’t like the answer she was getting. Then again, she’d always been a bad math student.
Color rose in Ella’s cheeks as she downed the *******s of her glass in one gulp.
“You’ve met him before.”

Chapter Seven


“He promised he would tell you.” Ella probably hoped that having an audience might stop Holly from resorting to physical violence.
“You and Will?” Holly’s tone couldn’t have been any more incredulous and was rising steadily towards yelling. Will and Ella. Ella and Will. Love thy neighbor had taken on a whole new meaning.
Mona, Katie and Sarah sat on the second couch as though they wished to be invisible.
Laura stood up and then sat down again, shaking her head. “No wonder you didn’t want us to go up to your apartment.”
“Well, in my experience, and as Sarah said earlier, it is definitely healthier to have everything out in the open.” Mona walked over to the breakfast bar to get another bottle of wine. “Since Joe and I started being honest with each other, there’s been a definite improvement.”
Holly wasn’t ready to calm down yet. “How long has it been?”
Ella met Holly’s gaze. Her expression seemed to convey remorse. Holly wasn’t sure Will or any man, was worth this.
“Not long.” Ella replied. “Well, on and off for nearly four months.” The look on Holly’s face must have made her immediately regret her candor. “And mostly on for the last four weeks.” Her voice was uncharacteristically small.
“And yet you’ve still been popping in to see me, pretending to be my friend. You’re a better actress than I thought you were.” Holly’s tone was acidic.
“I guess I was hoping that this could all work out. I know it’s not exactly a regular situation, but there are worse forms of dysfunction out there.”
Holly was no longer cool, calm or collected. Indeed, she was furious and her emotions were all over the map. “How could you sit here and listen to me talking about our problems?”
“I never meant for anything to happen.”
“Don’t tell me—you were helpless, powerless to resist. What is Cupid using these days, an AK-47?”
“I asked Will to help me with a read-through one afternoon and we talked, I mean really talked, and I guess, well, one thing led to another.”
“Well, that’s lovely, isn’t it.” Holly paced around her sitting room, apathy and ambivalence—and their audience—forgotten. “I think you’d better go.”
“I’m not going anywhere until we’ve talked this through.”
“This is my apartment. You don’t decide anything.”
“It’s bad karma to walk away in the middle of something.”
“It’s bad karma to sleep with my boyfriend.”
Ella absorbed the last round of blows. “Please, Holly, sit down.”
Reluctantly, Holly retreated to the arm of the couch. Her arms were folded; her chest was tight.
“I don’t blame you for being furious.” Ella said softly. “In your position, I think I’d be a lot less understanding.”
“You think this is understanding?”
“Just think about the fact that you two hadn’t been right for months. You started talking to me about moving on almost a year ago and if things had been great between you, you have to believe me when I say none of this would be happening.”
Holly didn’t reply.
“Okay, I might have been a catalyst, but I definitely wasn’t the cause.” Ella got to her feet. “And I really don’t want to lose our friendship.”
“So you thought the three of us could all just be friends, did you? Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, and you are from the moon, clearly.”
“I doubt he’s going to stick around. I’m not what he wants. But he needs to have lots of different experiences. He’s an artist.”
“No, he’s a banker. Calculating to the last.”
“I don’t blame you for being angry at us…”
Holly bristled at the use of joint terminology.
“He needed to spread his wings. And so do you. Plus, it won’t be long before he wants to nest.” Ella fidgeted nervously. “You shouldn’t be surprised that he wanted out. Will was Mr. Marriage. You weren’t even Miss Thinking Long-Term.”
Holly froze. Surely Ella didn’t mean…
As Holly reached for Sarah’s copy of the book on the coffee table, she noted that Katie, Mona and Laura were all hurriedly flicking through theirs.
“Are you telling me Will wrote this?” Holly studied the cover for clues.
Ella nodded silently.
Holly’s brain was doing its best to keep up. The publishing phenomenon of the year had been living with her and sleeping with the woman upstairs. “But he told me he was writing a thriller.”
“He was at first, but no one was interested. The market was saturated. One of the publishers suggested he’d be better off writing what he knew. And it turns out, she was right. You were the best thing that could have happened to him—professionally, at least.”
“This is unbelievable, Hol.” Katie sounded impressed. “You’re a muse.”
Holly wasn’t listening. “But why didn’t he tell me?”
“He was going to and then you asked for a break. Besides, he wasn’t expecting it to take off like this.”
“So he’s going to London with the book?”
Ella nodded. “It’s flying off the shelves there, too. You should be proud of him.”
Holly shook her head in quiet bewilderment. “I guess I understand why the author chose to keep himself anonymous now.”
“The anonymity thing was the publisher’s idea. It was all about creating hype. But now that it’s sold beyond his wildest dreams, he’s going to start doing interviews, publicity, build his brand, his audience, his profile…”
Katie interrupted. “Hey, Holly, maybe it’s time to tell your story? Just think how much the papers would love that: Mr. Marriage meets The Bachelorette. There could be some money in it for you, too.”
Trust her to have a sister majoring in media, communications and psychology. “I don’t think so.”
The doorbell buzzed.
Holly looked at Ella. “So, what’s this, the next installment? Did he forget to take you with him on his way out?”
Ella shrugged. “Like I know what happens next.”
The doorbell rang again.
Katie got to her feet impatiently and picked up the entry phone to buzz in the visitor. A few seconds later she was standing at the apartment door peering down the stairwell, footsteps echoing noisily as they ascended the stone staircase.

Chapter Eight


“Who is it?” Holly asked the question everyone wanted to know. Had Will come back? And had he come back for her—or Ella?
Katie shrugged. “A delivery.”
“At ten past nine?” Holly wondered whether Katie was missing a common-sense gene. It would certainly explain her choice of corduroy miniskirt in November. “This is New York. You don’t just let people into your building. Or, should I say, into my building. I’ve had a bad enough day already without adding homicide to the equation.”
“Is it nine p.m.?” Sarah checked her watch. “I really ought to be going home.”
“Hello.”
A tall slim man, breathing increasingly heavily as the number of stairs caught up with him, stood in the doorway, a curtain of dark hair obscuring half of his face. His green eyes were barely visible.
He stared at Katie. “Holly? Holly Frederick?”
Twenty-something? Thirty-something? Holly studied the new arrival. It was difficult to tell.
Shaking her head, Katie stepped to one side and pointed at her sister. Holly nodded wearily. “That’s me.”
“Sean Herbert. Pleased to meet you.”
He held out his hand and then pulled it back to rummage through his canvas knapsack until he pulled out Holly’s dog-eared copy of Mr. Marriage.
“I think this must be yours. It has your name in it, or at least a postcard with your name and address on it. I found it on the subway this morning and, just in case you thought I had nothing better to do this evening—” he flashed a disarming and apologetic smile “—I was in the area.” Sean’s voice was bigger than his frame suggested, and his accent was an interesting mix of Irish and American. The group was captivated.
“So, what, you’re a professional guardian angel?” Holly had been through enough already. Nothing would faze her now.
“Sadly, merely an interfering psychology graduate who’s just started a Ph.D. on fate, destiny and consequence.”
A student, of course. Holly couldn’t believe she hadn’t guessed sooner. That would explain the jeans, just a little bit too long and with a watermark at ankle level, where they had soaked up a couple of puddles.
“I hate to ruin your thesis but I’m off men for the foreseeable future.” Holly reached out for her book.
Sean stammered, “I wasn’t…I mean I didn’t…”
“Well, thank you.” Holly took her book and returned it to her coffee table. Mission accomplished, but it didn’t look as though Sean was going anywhere. Apparently, he couldn’t take his eyes off Katie.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” Katie came to his rescue.
“Are you sure I’m not interrupting?”
“Don’t mind us. It’s book club night. We could do with some light relief.” Katie, for one, was evidently suddenly bored with the all-female company. Sean stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him.
Much to Laura’s and Mona’s amusement, they watched Katie run her fingers through her hair, pinch her cheeks and apply a fresh coat of lip balm in the kitchen, as she went to fetch a clean glass for Sean. Judging by his reaction when she returned, her effort didn’t go unnoticed.
Cautiously, Sean took a sip of his wine, his eyes darting around the apartment over the rim of his glass.
Mona was the first to make a move.
“I’d love to stay, but I can’t.” Mona kissed Holly on both cheeks. “Joe’s cooking a late dinner. All part of the counselor’s idea ‘to create more mutual moments’ and I don’t want to screw up. Thanks for having us all over. Great evening.”
Holly cocked an eyebrow. “Hey, it was good to share and tonight sure beat everything on HBO.”
Sarah nodded her agreement as she decided to make her escape, too. “I’ll see you tomorrow. You okay?”
Holly gave herself a moment to check and nodded. “Surprisingly fine.”
“Good. Well, David will be delighted you’re back on the open market.”
“David?”
“Haven’t you noticed that he likes to spend as much time in meetings with you as possible? And he’s often asking me about you. Pretending it’s just casual conversation, of course, but, well, I have my suspicions.”
“Really…?” Never one to miss a syllable, Laura’s voice came wafting out of the kitchen, where she’d gone to turn on the kettle.
“She’s just trying to make me feel better.” Holly shouted her response so Laura could hear.
“We’ll see.” Sarah kissed her good-night on both cheeks before following Mona out the door.
“Well, Hol, bosses are all the rage.” Laura appeared with two mugs of herbal tea and winking, gave one to Holly.
“So it would appear.” Holly accepted the mug gratefully. “Along with neighbors.”
Ella was still sitting on the couch. Holly wanted her apartment back. “That’s it, we’re done. Do send Will my congratulations on the book.”
“I’m not sure I should be seeing him again.”
“Might be difficult, might it not, seeing that he’s probably upstairs waiting for you?” Holly took a sip of her peppermint tea.
Ella flinched. “I’m sorry this is all such a mess…”
“Well I certainly don’t want to see either of you for a while.”
Sean watched the exchange from behind his curtain of hair, and Katie watched him watching. “So, Sean, do you want to grab a beer away from the war zone?”
“Sure.”
Katie grabbed her coat—which was only fractionally longer than her skirt. “Come on, let’s go. I’ve had quite enough estrogen for one evening.”
Ella crossed her legs and leaned forward in earnest. “So, what do you think I should do?”
Holly wished she would just leave. “I can’t believe you’re asking me.”
“I don’t want to make things worse.”
Holly smiled. “I’m not sure there’s anything else that could go wrong with today.”
“What are you going to do?” Ella was still in interview mode.
“Go to bed?”
“I mean about Will, about the book, about…everything.”
“Who knows, but you’ve all given me your opinions, so I’ve got plenty of advice to ponder.”
“Living your life by committee doesn’t work. You have to do what you want to.”
“I know, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to delegate responsibility.”
Holly’s mind went into overdrive. Or at least it finally started working. She’d just had a great idea for David’s new show.
* * *
Holly came out of her bedroom and stretched before slipping her laptop back into her briefcase. “Thanks for all your support today.”
Laura looked up from the couch, where she was watching reruns of Friends, waiting around in case her best friend needed her. “What have you been doing in there? Writing yourself a happy ending?”
“Something like that. Any sign of Katie?”
Laura shook her head. “I think it’s a student thing.”
Holly smiled. “I think it’s a Sean thing. Well at least something good came out of today. In fact, two things. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your news. Do you want to stay over? Pajama party?”
Laura shook her head. “If you’re okay, I’m going to head home. I’m sure Katie will be back eventually, plus I’ve got a date with Christopher tomorrow night, and I really would like to at least be wearing clean clothes.”
“You’re such a traditionalist.” Holly gave Laura a hug. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For being here for me, for not sleeping with Will, for keeping your perspective in a crisis…”
“You are better off without him.”
“I know that.”
“And life’s messy.”
“I know that, too.”
“And just think—you’re a bestseller! Well, sort of.”
Holly laughed. Thank God for Laura.
* * *
A buzz of excitement pervaded the studio as the recording started.
“Hello and welcome to Jury of Friends. My name is Ella and we’ve got a great show in store for you.”
Holly ran her tongue over her lips and tasted her Softlips. The new daytime producer for All Talk. Now she had a title to live up to. Everything was going to plan, but she was still nervous.
“For those of you who haven’t tuned in before, we invite one of our viewers to join us with a group of his or her friends, colleagues and family and help to resolve a problem. This is the only show where you get to be part of the jury, and your vote counts so let’s welcome our first guest this evening. Let’s meet Anne.”
As the applause died down and she watched the camera pan across the studio audience revealing Laura, Sarah, Mona, Katie and Sean in its midst, Holly realized that she was no longer alone at the monitor. Out of the corner of her left eye, she could see David pretending to be engrossed in the output, his hands deep in the pockets of his chinos.
Noticing her noticing him, he looked up. “Well, Frederick, you’ve nailed it. Talk meets reality. And Ella is just perfect. Are you still not going to tell me where you found her?” When his dark eyes met hers, the intensity of his gaze forced her to look away. They’d spent hours in development meetings together recently, but something felt different.
Holly shook her head. “You wouldn’t believe me.”
“Well this could make her a household name. She owes you one.”
“Let’s just say she owes me a couple.”
“Good job, Holly. And I’m delighted you’ve accepted the promotion.”
Did people turn down promotions? “I’m looking forward to the new challenge.” Overtly, Holly took his compliment in stride, yet beneath her merino wool V-neck, her chest swelled.
“So how about dinner sometime? To celebrate.”
“The show?”
“The show, the year, a new chapter, a new you, professionally…and personally.”
Holly raised an eyebrow. “Sarah told you?”
“She might have mentioned something, about two months ago now…”
Holly rolled her eyes and David smiled, almost coyly.
“I’d been asking after you. I was worried.”
“You had?”
“Sure, you had a lot going on.”
And Holly had thought she had handled herself like a pro.
“Not that you let it affect your performance.”
Holly wondered if he was being sarcastic. The phone bill from her extension must have been enormous. She’d made a few lengthy long-distance calls to England, plus Will’s stuff had been couriered to his new apartment on the All Talk UPS account. She’d been meaning to offer to pay but…
“Since then you’ve been busy, and I’m not the sort of man who wants to make a fool of himself. So I might have checked in with Sarah now and then to see how you were doing. Just to make sure I wasn’t being inappropriate.” Still smiling, David met her gaze. “So how would you like to go for Italian tonight?”
Holly smiled. “I thought your family was originally from Poland?”
“Actually, they’re from Brooklyn. But I was thinking pasta, not Pisa.” David laughed.
“Umm…”
“Come on. It’s only dinner.”
“And you’re only my boss.” Point made, Holly tried to keep the conversation as light as possible.
“Whereas you’re just bossy. How about I meet you in reception when we’re all done with the recording and we can take it from there?”
“Well I guess a girl has to eat.” Holly returned her attention to the monitor before looking up and flashing David a smile. “So I guess I’ll see you there.” She grinned despite herself as she heard him leave. It seemed her appetite was back.
The End

thanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx sweeti

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Thank you my dear

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