Laugh with me
 

each one of us will write a one line joke, and let us make it simple
let me begin

Atom bomb: An invention made to destroy all inventions

TV: some thing will make you blind
(^_^)

i hope u like these tough ironic quotes :

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.


For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Silence is Golden.. But Shouting IS fun!
what do you think ??
(^_^)

aayymmaann thank U , i like them all and Funny angel i think u r right

now how about this

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else

thats really true

(^_^)


My door is always open so feel free to leave
(^_^)

Haha u r really tough funny angle
now take this
God created dinosaurs God kills dinosaurs man creates dinosaurs dinosaurs kill man Women rule the world

he he he he

thats funny


Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
(^_^)

hahaha
this one really funny just like your name
now read this

People Make Mistakes, Mistakes Make People

U have a gr8 sense of humor guys, take this :

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids

to be continued ;)

God the 3 of them are funnnnnnnnnnnny,especially the second one

now try this

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies

There was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.'



Yo Mamma's so fat, when she weighs herself the scale says 'To be continued...'

Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.

(^_^)

Good Morning my funny friends and in case i don't c u good afternoon, good evening and goodnight :)

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo


Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it

he he he
thats funny

you are funny

(^_^)

No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.


zoo: A place where animals study the habits of humans.


You have a right to your opinions; I just don't want to hear them.




Small programs are for small minds.

:))) i really like to start my day with a smile, thanx guys, u really make my day

funny proverbs

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage


P.S. is there a way that we can get to know eachother better?

you are soooo funny

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.


A day without sunshine is like --- well, night.


A man will search 20 minutes for a golf ball.



Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.




As I said before, I never repeat myself.



Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!



I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.




so what do you think
(^_^)

becoz of u guys i find it hard to make my mouth comes back to normal position everytime after reading what u wrote ;)

well, let's c what i got today

About Men anf Women -and remember, i mean no affence to anyone-

I- About Men:

01- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse"

02- The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.

03- "Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable." - this oneis by "Cher" the singer


II- About Women:

01- If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning

02- When women go wrong, men go right after them

03- A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often

but i really like this one

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”

hi guys i found this one and i really like it i hope you will like 2

How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him

he he h eh e
thats really funny (^_^)

it's my tern


What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."


What do you use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best. "



"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"



soooo what do you think
(^_^)

he he h e
thats funny

I can post any thing
cause I have a report to write about a disease
(^_^)
sooooo
i will post
v, sooooooooooon

see ya soon girl, and good luck in your report

* there are two theories about arguing with a woman, and neither one works

* Before you critcise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes

Q: Why don't aliens eat clowns.
A: Because they taste funny.


Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.


Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".


Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"

hahahaaaaaaaaaaa,the Muffin joke is wonderful, god where did you get it

now my turn to make u laugh

* Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets

he h eh eh e
thats funny
(^_^)

soooo here I'm




Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them





Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.






Rain - something that, when you take an umbrella, it doesn't.






When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?






A: why did the man throw his watch out the window
B: hw wanted to see time fly





Q: way is the math book so unhappy
A: cause it's full of problems





Q: what happened to plants in math slass
A: it grew square roots





Q: what state pancils came from
A: pencil-vania





Q: why did the boy eat his homework
A: becuase the teacher said it was a piece of cake



see you around

(^_^)

come on
iwanna share with you
you could do better just if you wanna do

we're all waiting for ur joke ;)

DID U MISS ME? ;)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud



If a turtle doesnt have a [محذوف][محذوف][محذوف][محذوف]l, is it naked or homeless ?



A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says
"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"

Q .. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.

Bad Luck

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

he he he
thats coooooooooool

you are funny
(^_^)

Americans

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.

Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American."

"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.

"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

I have 2 admit guys that u really make me start my day with a smile, and if i don't i -at least- end it with a smile and sleep in peace. Thanks to the very person who came up with this idea, i thank him indeed.

It's all about marriage this time

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her

I just pass to thank you for such a funny ironics and jokes

thats cooooooool
but I have a new report to write
(T_T)
I wont to post a new joke
but I can't
(T_T)

Funniest Angel, good luck with ur report, just keep smiling and always remember
"Makka na kao de warattara
Tomodachi ippai sugu dekimashita
=
If you laugh heartily with a red face
You'll quickly gain lots of friends"


It's all about money this time


If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some


Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery


When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is

hellllllooooooooo
all miss you
(^_^)



new jokes




Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.


Drive carefully. 90% of the people on the road are caused by accident.


How come Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?


An apple a day makes 365 apples a year.




As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.


(^_^)
see you around

aayymmaann , i really love your joke about American,thank you

* Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
* FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found
* What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse

Dragonguard, u're so funny, the joke about the job is a killer

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?"


It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't


I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog



If u still can count your money, so you don't have billion dollars

Some people cause happiness wherever they go, and other cause happiness wherever they go away

Hi again funny friends, i likes these too

* This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you

* Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me

he he he he
thats really funny

(^_^)
I liked the first one



I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet.



I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.




I took an IQ test and the results were negative.



If Harry Potter is so good at magic, how come he still needs glasses?


(^_^)

wish u a very nice day

"My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers"

"My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers"

"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick"

I find it so hard to create a joke, so i liked the challange and i came up with this

"Two friends were at the funfairs, suddenly a popcorn cart exploded and the corn started falling on people, Friend 1: it's raining corn, my prayers are answered finally
Friend 2: so we should go away immediately, coz i was praying Cadillacs."

I hope u liked it and i really appreciate ur comments

It's perfect, believe me, and just imagine lots of Cadillac coming from the sky, what type of umbrellas will we use?? hahahaha

* World's Easiest Quiz - Question: Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
Answer: New Zealand

he he he he
you are funny
(^_^)
thank you sooo much
I will post new jokes soooooooooooooooooooooon
(^_^)

i wonder guys, how couldn't u hear me laughing out laud!

The Ugliest Kid Ever


I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"

now 4 some knock-outs :)


"Room service? Send up a larger room."


"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."



"Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'."

have an unforgettable day

aayymmaann about the chimp, oh it's really unexpected one, thank u

* How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight. One to work the light bulb, and seven to make sure Microsoft gets US$2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

* How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard