Excellent ..
in choosing subject and manipulating words and every thing very good in language an expression i like it good luck ... |
Hello this is a great poem really great the subject is very smart the language is not bad the whole poem is one amazing visualization and I adored the rhythm but there were some errors like in the title when you start a sentence with a verb ,then it is an order. you are ordering us to wear the mask so, I think it should be I wear the mask or the mask I wear then I was really surprised by the word Nay I mean it's such an old word that I've only read in historical novels and I thought it was the street way of no but it turned out that it is magnification of a simple no and it was used in the old English by the likes of Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe and those really old writers so I guess you read a lot of old stuff there were some grammar and language errors I wear the mask that grin and lie , but it should be (that grins and lies) It hide my cheek , should be (hides) that dept me push , should be that dept I push) and I don't understand the push thing I think you mean pay when you said I sense it should be (I feel) like been captor it should be (like I have been a captor) all day tell the darkness , should be (all day till the darkness) give you invite , should be (give you invitation) you said in closure and it should be in the end closure may have the same meaning but it has different uses and basically it means emotional end but it still is a wonderful poem I just think it needs a little bit of refining I wish you all the luck in the competition |
hello
the poem is very good I liked it your choosing for the title and the subject was good your expression also was good but I hope in the next time to replace some words in other words to become appropriate for the meaning good luck ^^ |
Hello
A very beautiful poem Style of language is beautiful and harmonious This strange and beautiful Success of the rider always |
الساعة الآن 08:06 PM. |
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