MAN-HATER By: PENNY JORDAN
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[IMG][/IMG] لان ليلاس هو منتدى الرومانسية الاول في العام العربي و لاني لطالما استفدت فهذه مشاركة بسيطة مني لعلي اوفي الدين و انشالله ساقوم برفع مكتبتي اللتي تحوي الاف الروايات الرومانسية اما كتابة او بصيغة pdf لمنتدانا الحبيب و دمتم في رعاية الذي لا تضيع عنده الودائع. CHAPTER ONE She must be getting old, Kelly thought tiredly as she snapped off the office lights. Time was when she had worked well into the evening and had still left the office with her batteries fully charged and her brain working on overdrive, but that had been when she had first started the agency off. Now that it was successful she was missing the challenge of those early days. She sighed as she pressed the button for the lift. Her offices were in a prestigious block owned by one of the major insurance companies-clients of hers. The publicity work she had done for them had been so successful that she had been able to negotiate a very reasonable rent for the premises. One of the reasons she had had to work late was that she had spent the morning with her accountant going over the figures for the company's current trading year. Ian Carlisle had been full of praise and admiration. The company looked set to turn in a record profit. "And with the sound capital base it's had right from the start, you're in a very good position, Kelly," he had told her. Ian worked for the firm who handled her grandfather's affairs. He had been the one to shock her with the astounding news of her grandfather's wealth, shortly after his death. To find herself an heiress at eighteen had come so totally out of the blue that it had taken her quite some time to come to terms with it. Kelly had never dreamed that the grandparents who had brought her up in the modest detached house just outside London had possessed such wealth, and with hindsight she doubted that even her grandmother had known of her husband's predilection for the Stock Market, nor his astounding success. At first Kelly had been too overwhelmed by the money to cope with the responsibility of it. It was only later--after Colin--that she had become possessed by the need to make the money work, to prove that women could be just as successful and astute as men. So why was it that she felt so depressed? By rights she ought to be celebrating the company's third birthday and its enviable success--not planning a lonely meal in her apartment followed by an early night after she had checked Sylvester's figures for the Harding contract. That success often equalled loneliness was something she was only just beginning to realise; but that was what she wanted, wasn't it? Far better the hard-won fruits of success than the perils of emotional commitment--of relying on another human being. Since Colin she had not relied on anyone other than herself--and that was the way she wanted it, she told herself firmly. Outside, the streets were empty of the rush hour traffic. Success meant that one could not work a mere nine-to-five day--but it had been worth it, Kelly assured herself, barely giving her reflection more than the merest fleeting glance as she glimpsed her slender trench-coated figure in the store window. Kelly's was one of the most successful companies of its kind in the city, and Kelly herself had the reputation of being a genius where getting good publicity for her clients was concerned. Top-class advertising agencies vied with one another to work alongside her, and she knew without a trace of vanity that the company's success was solely due to her own hard work and flair. So why, tonight of all nights, was she in this oddly introspective mood? Why on earth was she questioning the quality of her life? The cost of total commitment to her career? She had made the choice, no one had forced her. After Colin she could simply have continued as she had done before; she was a wealthy young woman with no need to work. A form of therapy, Ian had once called it, and she wasn't sure if he wasn't right. And it had worked. So why was she feeling so restless? She was twenty-six; wealthy in her own right; commercially successful. She was attractive, intelligent, and had a close if small circle of friends. What on earth had she to feel restless about? By the time she reached her apartment she had managed to throw off her earlier mood, and she unlocked her door with a small sigh of relief. The apartment had been carefully chosen and decorated to reflect the image of the agency. The walls and carpet of the large living-room merged in matching softly grey blues; two large settees covered in off-white silk facing one another across a glass and stained-wood coffee table that matched the decor exactly, as did the silk-covered cushions heaped artfully on the off-white settees, in colours ranging from soft blue-grey to a rich deep azure. Kelly had employed the same firm of interior designers for the apartment as she had done for the office, and the result was a classical, if somewhat cold perfection. The apartment, as always, was impeccable. Kelly was lucky enough to have a first-class cleaner who came every morning to restore the apartment to its pristine splendour. Normally she enjoyed the cool remoteness of the living room with its gracefully modern Italian furniture, its 'touch me not' air of impeccability , but tonight, for some reason, it repelled her, and she found herself thinking instead of the house in Hampstead she had shared with Colin; of the bliss that had been hers for those few short months she had spent planning the decor--a decor far removed from the elegance of her apartment. What was past was past, she told herself firmly as she shrugged off her trench coat in her bed room, hanging it up as she had been taught to do by her grandmother, who had been a stickler for tidiness. She remembered that Colin had mocked her for this habit--as he had done for so many things, only at the time she had been too blind to recognise the truth for what it was, and had thought he was simply teasing her. The excellence of her plain navy pinstriped skirt and white silk blouse spoke for themselves. The silk clung treacherously to the curves of her breasts--too generous in Kelly's opinion, and in the early days of the company she had had to freeze off the admiring looks of more than one client. Personally she thought her figure too voluptuous. Her waist was too narrow for the fullness of her breasts, her legs too long. If she had to find one word to describe her figure, that word would be 'flamboyant', Kelly acknowledged distastefully, and she always dressed in a style that minimised rather than maximised her curves. Her hair was long and dark, and she normally wore it in a neat chignon. She had always worn it long. Her grandmother used to brush it for her every night, and once released from its constraining pins it had the texture and sheen of rich silk. She really ought to have it cut, she thought, slipping off her skirt and carefully returning it to its hanger, but wearing it up helped to add to her air of reserve, and this had been a useful weapon in establishing the company. Men never tended to take seriously women they were thinking of going to bed with rather than giving a business contract to, and Kelly had found out very quickly that her distant air, coupled with her formal clothes and severe hairstyle, helped to preserve the image she wished to maintain. The day had tired her more than she had thought. She had little appetite and longed only to relax and go to bed, but first she had those figures to check. She always changed her clothes when she came home at night, never into the jeans and tops she had favoured in the days before Colin, but tonight for some reason something within her rebelled and instead of reaching for the plain dress she had been about to put on, Kelly found herself removing from her wardrobe a richly patterned silk kimono that one of her Japanese customers had sent her the previous Christmas. The azure blue background enhanced the darkness of her skin and the sapphire depths of her eyes. Her skin was almost too pale--a result of not having had a holiday for too long, she thought ruefully as she tied the sash, and removed the light layer of make-up she had worn during the day, brushing her hair methodically before returning to the living room and curling up on the settee with the papers she had brought home with her. She was deeply engrossed in the figures when her doorbell pealed. Frowning, she went across to the intercom in the hallway and asked crisply to know the name of her visitor. "It's me, Kelly--Jeremy Benson." Kelly's heart sank as she heard the familiar and, to her ears, faintly unpleasant drawl of her best friend's husband's voice. She had never liked Jeremy in the days when he and Sue were merely engaged, and her dislike had grown into loathing in the years that followed. Sue and Jeremy had been married for six years, and Kelly doubted that Jeremy had remained faithful to her friend for even one of them. Sue and Kelly had been at school together. Sue was the closest friend she had, but ever since Jeremy had made it plain that he was sexually attracted to her, Kelly had found that she saw less and less of her friend, apart from brief shopping trips together, fitted in on Sue's infrequent visits to London, when Jeremy could not accompany them. That Jeremy knew how she felt about him, and still persisted in his blatant attempts to seduce her, infuriated Kelly all the more and only reinforced her opinion of men in general, which was that as far as the majority of them were concerned, despite Women's Lib, and the much vaunted equality beloved of the newspapers, women were still things as opposed to people with equal rights, and that it was simply enough for a man to want and try to take, without having the slightest regard for the feelings, or lack of them, of the object of his wanting. For Sue's sake, she had not told Jeremy how much she despised him. He was a weak and vindictive man and over the years she had seen him gradually alienate Sue from all her old friends, so that she was entirely dependent on him emotionally, while he was free to pursue his flirtations and affairs. Sue never mentioned Jeremy's failings to her, and Kelly genuinely believed that she was not aware of his real personality. She loved him, as she was constantly telling Kelly, and Kelly dreaded what would happen to her friend if she ever discovered the truth. Had she not had first-hand experience of the devastating effect such a discovery could have on a woman in love? "Come on, Kelly, don't keep me waiting down here all night! I've got a message for you from Sue." It was on the dp of Kelly's tongue to tell him to simply give her the message and go, but she knew that, if she did, Jeremy would consider that he had scored against her. Jeremy was well aware of her aversion to him and, far from putting him off, it only seemed to increase his desire for her. If she refused to let him come up to the apartment he would goad her at a later date of being afraid to be alone with him; twisting the facts until it appeared that she was afraid to be alone with him because she desired him! Kelly knew quite well how his mind worked. Her mouth twisting bitterly, she told him to come up. His eyes widened appreciatively as she let him in, and as he bent forward to kiss her cheek, Kelly kept her body rigidly away from him. He merely looked amused. "Still the same old frigid Kelly," he mocked. "What's the matter? Afraid of what might happen between us if you really let go? No need to be, old girl. " His manner, as always, set Kelly's teeth on edge and she could feel her temper simmering just below boiling point as she poured him a drink and handed it to him before sitting down opposite him. "Fantastic place you've got here," Jeremy said appreciatively, glancing round the room. "Sue hasn't the faintest idea about decor," he added disparagingly, 'but then, of course, I suppose everything's possible if one has the money. " Two thrusts with one blow, Kelly thought acidly. First the criticism of her friend, and then the reminder that she had the wealth to buy good taste. "You said you had a message for me from Sue," she reminded him frostily. "Welcoming, aren't you?" Jeremy complained, adopting a hurt little boy air that irritated Kelly beyond bearing, although she knew it worked well with poor Sue. "We haven't seen you in months and now you can't wait to get rid of me." "I've got some work to do." She indicated the pile of papers beside her. "What are you doing in town anyway?" Jeremy was an accountant with his own practice in the New Forest, where they lived, and it was a constant bone of *******ion with him that Kelly wouldn't transfer her business to his practice. "A business meeting," he told her. "And Sue suggested I call and see you. She wants to show off the new house and suggested you might like to come down for the weekend. She's feeling a bit low at the moment, with the baby and everything." Was it Sue who wanted to show off the new house they had just bought, or Jeremy? Kelly wondered acidly, but the last part of Jeremy's sentence reminded her that her friend had just lost a much wanted baby, and it smote her conscience that apart from a telephone call she had not spoken much to Sue since the tragic event. "What's the matter?" Jeremy asked, watching her craftily. "Don't you fancy the idea? Or is it that you fancy it too much? There's something about you, Kelly. It really turns me on; the highpoweredwoman image. Poor Sue can't really hold a candle, to you. She's developing into a boring little hausfrau, I'm afraid, and all this fuss about the baby hasn't helped. " God, he really was callous and unfeeling! Kelly fumed, longing to tell him that in her opinion Sue was worth ten of him--at least. Part of her longed to refuse the invitation to refute his smug comments but she valued her friendship with Sue and was suddenly conscious of the fact that her friend probably needed her company badly right now. If she refused there was no telling how Jeremy might react. He was vain enough to poison Sue's mind against her in the same way he had done with Sue's other friends, and she could not retaliate by telling Sue the truth--especially not now when she was bound to be feeling particularly insecure. "I'll come," she announced briefly, 'but you really must leave now, Jeremy. I have to finish these figures tonight. " She got up as she spoke, expecting him to follow her, but instead he reached up, caressing her hip, his gaze blatantly sexual as he stared at her body. A shudder of revulsion coursed through her, as Kelly pushed him away, her face taut with anger. "All right, I get the message, but there'll be other times, Kelly," Jeremy warned her. "No woman, even a woman like you, can live the life of a nun for ever. See you at the weekend," he added mockingly as she opened the door for him. When he had gone reaction caught up with her and Kelly sank down on to the settee, her face a tortured mask of hatred and pain. God, the arrogance of the male sex! She loathed Jeremy's touch, and yet he assumed he had the God-given right to touch her, just because he wanted to! Men! She despised them all! Frigid, Jeremy called her. Well, he was probably right. Colin had said much the same. Colin! She closed her eyes, unable to stop the shudders trembling through her. Dear God, would she never be able to forget? She had met him just after her grandfather's death. He had worked in the same office as Ian, as a trainee accountant. They had met when Ian told her about her unexpected inheritance. At first she had been so overcome by the unexpected news that she hadn't even been able to think properly, and it was Colin who came running after her in the street with the umbrella she had left behind. That had been the beginning; a fairly innocuous start to the events which had had such a cataclysmic effect upon her whole life. It had been several days later when she received a telephone call from Colin at her office, asking her to go out with him. She had been drawn to him at first sight and had willingly accepted. They went out for a meal and then on to a film. Colin had driven her back to her grandparents' house, where she still lived, in the old banger he had recently bought. He had kissed her goodnight, gently but determinedly, and her heart had sung with joy. -Six weeks later they were engaged. On Colin's advice she sold the house. He wanted them to have a completely fresh start, he had told her, but she had been startled when he took her to see the large house in Hampstead he thought they should buy. When Kelly protested that it was very expensive, he had reminded her that she was a very wealthy young woman and that anyway the house was an investment for the future, adding that when he had his own practice it would be useful for entertaining Clients. Kelly had agreed, although Ian demurred a little when she told him of her plans, warning her that she would have to sell some of her investments to raise the capital. Several hectic weeks followed. The house was huge and needed certain structural alterations; Colin was away on a course, and their meetings were only infrequent, restricted to discussions on progress with the house, and briefly snatched kisses. Kelly had an aunt who lived in the north of England, in the Borders. She was Kelly's father's aunt really, and quite elderly, and Kelly had promised to visit her. She talked it over with Colin and it was arranged that she would go up for a few days before the wedding so that she could relax. "You've been working so hard on the house, sweet," Colin had told her, 'that you deserve a rest. I'll be away in Birmingham at our other office, anyway. Oh, before you leave," he had added, " I've got one or two papers for you to sign--nothing very important. " She had signed them between kisses, wondering what it would be like to be really Colin's wife. Her grandmother had brought her up strictly and, a little to her surprise, Colin had made no attempt to press upon her any of the intimacies she had expected. Was he aware of how nervous she felt? she wondered as she travelled north. Four days later she was back. She had enjoyed her stay with her aunt who, although well into her eighties, was hale and hearty. They had talked about Kelly's grandparents, and Kelly's father, who had been in the army and had been killed in Northern Ireland by a car bomb. Kelly's mother had been with him, and their orphaned daughter had been brought up by her grandparents. She had been four when her parents were killed and barely remembered them. The wedding was to be a quiet one--a register office affair, although Kelly would have preferred to be married in church. They weren't having a honeymoon--Colin had promised to take her away later when he had passed his final exams. They returned to the house in Hampstead after a brief reception at a large London hotel. Ian had been there and had kissed her cheek gravely as he told her how lovely she looked. They returned to the Hampstead house early in the evening. Dusk was just falling, and the drawing room looked pleasant and warm as Kelly snapped on the lamps. All at once she felt awkward and uncertain. Colin had gone upstairs, and she wondered whether she ought to go up too, or whether to wait to change out of her wedding suit until he came down. If only she had more experience! She dismissed the disloyal thought that Colin's manner was not very lover-like. Perhaps he felt as uncertain as she did herself, and she wished that their courtship had not been so brief and hurried. "Bathroom's free if you want to get changed." She wheeled round, blushing a little as Colin walked in. He had changed into jeans and a sweater, and a tingle of excitement fired her blood as she looked at him. "Colin..." She paused uncertainly, willing him to take her in his arms and kiss her, to melt her doubts and fears with the warmth of his love, but instead he merely indicated the drinks tray on the table and asked if she wanted him to pour her one. Shaking her head, Kelly went upstairs, telling herself that her let-down feeling was only nerves. Of course it was foolish to expect Colin to sweep her into his arms and make mad passionate love to her; modern people simply didn't behave like that. She had just walked out of the bathroom when she heard the low hum of voices from downstairs. With no intention of eavesdropping she hesitated, wondering who on earth could have called on them tonight of all nights, when the drawing- room door was suddenly thrown open and she heard Colin saying angrily, "Pat, I told you never to come here!" "You also told me you loved me," Kelly heard a feminine voice reply. "You told me you loved me, and that this house was going to be ours-that you would have your own practice and..." Frozen with horror and disbelief, Kelly crept to the edge of the stairs. Colin and his companion were completely oblivious to her presence. "And so we will, darling," she heard Colin murmur softly. "Everything will work out all right." "But you didn't have to marry her, did you?" Kelly heard "Pat' demanding angrily, " God, Colin, how could you? " "Simple," she heard Colin saying with new cynicism, "I just closed my eyes and thought of all that lovely money. Oh, come on, Pat," he added, 'you don't think I actually want her? God, she's the most boring female I've ever known, a little brown mouse and frigid with it. She can't hold a candle to you, my sweet. The only way I can endure this marriage is by telling myself that it's for us, that. " "But she's your wife!" "Only for six months at the most. I've already got her to sign the documents deeding the house to me. Once I've persuaded her to give me the money to set up my practice I'll tell her the marriage is over." Kelly felt sick with shock and disbelief. It couldn't be true. But it was true! She only had to look over the banister to see her Colin, her husband, with another woman in his arms, kissing her with a hunger he had never shown her, to know how true it was. Nausea welled up inside her and she rushed back into the bathroom. The pair downstairs were oblivious to everything but one another and never even heard her. Did Colin actually intend to make love to her? Kelly wondered sickly when the bitter spasms were over. And Pat, how did she feel about sharing her lover with another woman? How could she herself permit Colin to touch her knowing what she now did? "Kelly? Darling, what are you doing up here?" Kelly stared at Colin, wondering why she expected him to have changed. He was still exactly as he had been before she discovered the truth; she was the one who had changed. She was no longer the foolish naive child she had been then. Bitter fury welled up inside her. "What do you want, Colin?" she challenged. "My signature to some more papers, is that it?" She saw the colour drain out of his face. "Darling..." he blustered, "I don't know..." "I heard everything," Kelly cut in coolly, marvelling at her own control. "Everything, and if you think I'd allow you to so much as touch me now "Why, you sanctimonious little prude!" Colin snarled, slamming the door and walked towards her. "Do you honestly believe I wanted to touch you? No way," he told her cruelly. "You've got nothing that appeals to me, Kelly. You can't hold a candle to Pat, you're frigid, or damn near, and..." "I do have one thing you want--apparently..." Kelly interrupted acidly, hoping he wouldn't guess at the pain that tore at her insides. "My money--well, you won't get a penny of it, Colin. First thing tomorrow I'm having our marriage annulled!" "Annulled?" He advanced to the bed, the cruelty in his eyes frightening her into rigid tension. "No way," he told her softly. " I might not want you, Kelly, but I sure as hell want that money, and there's no way you're going to cheat me of it now. So you think you'll get an annulment, do you? " He laughed softly in his throat and terror stalked her as he stared down at her, slowly removing his sweater and then his jeans. She wanted to run, but fear held her rooted to the spot, cowering on the bed, wishing she had the courage to get up and flee. The silk wrap she had put on after her bath was ripped from neck to hem in the degrading scene that followed, pain and fear locking Kelly's throat against the screams of terror building up there. Colin's hands bruised her body, just as his callous words had bruised her heart. "Frigid bitch!" he swore at her, when her body clenched protestingly against him, hurt and frightened beyond any possible arousal, and he flung himself off the bed to stare furiously down at her. "You're not a woman, you're an iceberg," he taunted her as he pulled on his jeans. "No one could make love to you--they'd freeze first!" He was gone before she could speak, leaving her dry-eyed, her heart pounding with fear, her body aching with tension and the bruises and scratches Colin had inflicted upon it. Frigid, frigid, frigid--the word danced jerkily through her mind as she lay there, unable to move, unable to cry, unable to properly comprehend. She heard the door slam as Colin left the house-going where--to Pat, who wasn't an iceberg, who wouldn't make him freeze? And then what? Would he come back and carry out his threat? Could she endure it if he did? Rape was an ugly word for an ugly deed, but that was what it would be if Colin consummated their marriage. She was still lying there in the darkness when she heard the doorbell. She let it peal, until she realised that it wasn't going to stop. It had to be Colin, and she dressed slowly, hoping he would go away, but he didn't. She unlocked the door, noticing that a false dawn was pear ling the sky. She must have been lying there half-conscious for several hours, but it had seemed like only minutes since he left. "Mrs. Langtoh?" She peered up at the policeman standing on the doorstep. "May I come in for a second?" Somehow he had done and he was inside and asking where the kitchen was, saying something about a nice cup of tea. Kelly's numbed mind couldn't follow what he was saying, only that he was using a soothing tone, the sort one used on frightened animals--or children. Slowly, what he was saying sank it. "Now, come and sit down," he said gently, his own manner awkward and compassionate. "He wouldn't have felt a thing," he told her. "Killed straight off. " He didn't add that his sergeant had said--and so he deserved to be, driving like 'a maniac on the wrong side of the road, with too much drink inside him. Colin was dead! Why didn't she feel something? Anything? She couldn't. All she felt was numb. She watched the young policeman with a curious sense of detachment. He seemed more concerned than her. He drunk the tea he had made quickly and asked her if she had any family. She shook her head and heard herself saying clearly, "It's all right, I shall be perfectly all right. Please don't worry..." "Rum do," the constable told the sergeant at the station later. "Didn't so much as turn a hair." "Takes all sorts," the sergeant commented, 'and news like that takes ' emall in different ways. Don't worry about it too much, lad," he comforted the younger man--it was only his second 'fatal' and it was always hard to have to be the one to break the news. Alone in the huge Victorian house, Kelly's own emotion was one of thankfulness. Of relief. Her love for Colin had gone, destroyed by the discovery that he had simply been using her. Her body ached from his cruelty, and her mind felt blunted and bruised. All she wanted to do was sleep. But there was one thing she must never do, and that was that she must never again be foolish enough to allow any man to deceive her as Colin had done. She must remember always that she was rich, that she was undesirable apart from her money and that she must always, always be on her guard. Always. "Always..." With a start, Kelly realised that she had said the word aloud. Grimacing, she shrugged. She had come a long way from the girl she had been at eighteen. She was, after all, eight years older, eight years wiser. She glanced down at her hand where Colin's rings still glittered. She wore them as a reminder; just as she used her married name. Since Colin's death she had learned that she was attractive to men, but she had never stopped wondering cynically why, and she thought she knew the answer. Those who were married simply wanted a few brief hours of escapism and thought they could use her body to achieve it, and those who weren't wanted to secure their future through her wealth and weren't averse to making love to her if by doing so they could achieve that object. She despised them all with equal fervour. "A man-hater," one of them had once called her, but didn't she have good reason to be? And hadn't Jeremy just confirmed that she was right |
CHAPTER TWO she worried about the weekend when she should have been thinking about her work. There had been something in Jeremy's manner which suggested that he might be contemplating forcing the issue. A visit to her bedroom uninvited, perhaps? It had happened before--albeit not with Jeremy. And if she refused the invitation, how would Sue feel? Sue who had lost her longed-for baby before it was even born? Kelly fretted over me problem for most of the day and left the office feeling jaded and tense. She was half-way down a tube escalator when the advertisement caught her eye: "Need a companion? An escort?" it asked. "Phone us--we can provide either, male or female--to accompany you to that special function which you simply can't attend alone." Was it genuine, or was she being naive? What was the matter with her? she asked herself as she hurried on to the tube. Surely she wasn't considering hiring an escort? But why not? It would be one way of keeping Jeremy at bay; and without the complications taking any other escort with her might involve. She had many male acquaintances, but there wasn't one of them who wouldn't leap immediately to the wrong conclusion if she suggested they spend the weekend with her. She toyed with the idea all evening, alternately dismissing and re-assessing it. It was ridiculous, farcical, but wasn't it also the ideal solution? There was nothing to be lost in simply making enquiries. She dug out a telephone directory and searched through it. The agency had a surprisingly good address, a fairly new office block that Kelly knew quite well. She had contemplated taking a suite in it herself until she had received the offer from the insurance company for her present offices. Chewing her lip, she contemplated her alternatives. She could either go alone to Sue's and risk being proved right about Jeremy's attentions, or she could try and avert any unpleasantness by making enquiries at the agency and, if everything went well, employing one of their staff to accompany her. Simple! So why should she be so wary and full of doubt? Was it because the idea of actually paying someone to accompany her smacked of a lack of femininity and--even worse--an admission that she could only attract male attention by paying for it? What did it matter? No one other than herself and the agency need know. Her motives were quite legitimate, and surely it was worth sinking her pride if it meant saving Sue pain and herself possible embarrassment. She had nothing to lose by simply calling at the agency and enquiring, had she? As luck would have it, she had an appointment that took her in the vicinity of the agency's offices. She emerged on to the pavement from the impressively externally-mirrored building that housed the latest addition to their client list, sufficiently buoyed up with the success of obtaining a new and prestigious client to pluck up the courage to cross the busy street and walk purposefully into the marble foyer of the building opposite. There was no commissionnaire in evidence, but a quick glance at the nameplates by the lift confirmed that the agency was on the third floor. Peeling considerably more nervous than she had done at her previous interview, Kelly waited for the lift, smoothing the skirt of her new Jaeger suit anxiously. The suit wasn't something she would normally have chosen. Maisie, her assistant, had persuaded her into it for the meeting this morning. In a rich amethyst velvet, the skirt fell in soft gathers from a neat waistband. The jacket was faintly mediaeval, with a cropped close-fitting collarless bodice and slim slightly puffed sleeves, quilted with gold thread. She was wearing a new blouse with it, cream silk with a large collar worn outside the jacket, and an amethyst velvet ribbon ded in a bow at her throat. Somehow the outfit made her look faintly vulnerable rather than efficient; it even seemed to rob her chignon of something of its normal formality. Wisps of hair had escaped to curl round her temples, and Kelly toyed nervously with her pearl earrings as she sent the lift to the third floor. She saw the entrance to the agency the moment she stepped out of the lift. The door to the foyer was open and there was a man with his back to her bending over a desk. He straightened up as she knocked and walked in, turning to study her with lazy appreciation. Much to her chagrin, Kelly felt herself flushing with anger as his glance slid potently over the length of her legs in the sheer amethyst stockings that matched her outfit, pausing almost thoughtfully before moving upwards, assessing the slenderness of her waist encased in a broad suede belt, the full curves of her breasts beneath the velvet jacket, coming to rest with amused comprehension on her taut and angrily flushed face. "My apologies," he drawled in a voice that, Kelly told herself unpleasantly, sounded like all the very worst television commercials, and was very obviously less than sincere. "Don't apologise if you don't mean it," she snapped. "Insulting me once was enough!" "Oh? And how did I do that?" The husky voice hadn't changed, but Kelly had the disconcerting feeling that somehow she had angered him, "By looking at me as though I were a piece of merchandise you were considering buying. That was your first insult," Kelly told him scathingly. "Your second was expecting me to be deceived by your less-than- sincere apology." "Oh, I wasn't apologising for looking," she was told softly. "What I was apologising for was embarrassing you." "Embarrassing me!" Kelly stared at him in fury. Did he actually think she had been embarrassed by his insulting scrutiny? "You didn't embarrass me in the slightest," she told him coldly, 'you merely annoyed me. How would men like it if women stared at them as though. " "As though they were pieces of merchandise they were considering buying?" he quoted mockingly. "I don't know what brings you here, Miss..." "Mrs. Langdon," Kelly supplied for him coldly, watching his eyes narrow as he glanced at her left hand as though seeking confirmation of her statement. "I'm here for the very simple reason that I wish to avail myself of the services of this agency," she went on tautly. Now that she was here, confronting this arrogant specimen of manhood, she was beginning to have grave doubts about her intentions. "The agency?" He glanced at the door, frowned, tapping thoughtfully on the desk, while he subjected her to a provokingly intense study. "You mean the escort agency, I take it?" "Is there any other?" Kelly snapped, her patience worn thin by his manner and his scrutiny. He was completely unlike the species of male she had grown accustomed to over the years; they, well primed as to her reputation and her wealth, were normally either obsequious or respectful; sometimes flirtatious, but never, never did they regard her with the cool disdain of this man, whose grey eyes seemed to take her apart muscle by muscle, assessing each and every part of her as he did so. His hair was dark and brushed the collar of his jacket--too long, she thought scornfully, but doubtless there were some woman who found him attractive. As far as she was concerned, he was far too chocolate- boxy to appeal; he looked like one of the actors one saw on television, driving lorries and eating bars of chocolate or performing death-defying acts on skis to deliver them. Some of her contempt showed in the withering glance she gave him, determined not to let his manner overset her. "Umm ... you're attractive enough, I suppose," he ventured calmly, 'but I scarcely think your manner is likely to win you friends or influence people. If you really want a job I would suggest that. " '/ want a job? " Kelly broke in furiously, two hectic spots of colour burning in her previously pale face. "I haven't come here for a job, I've come here for an escort!" "An escort?" If he was as stunned as he had sounded, he covered it up very quickly. "I see, and just what sort of escort do you require, Mrs. Langdon?" he asked smoothly, sitting down in the leather chair behind the desk, and pulling open a drawer. "You must understand that this is a highly reputable and respectable agency, we don't..." Kelly's furious gasp reached him and he straightened up, staring coldly at her. "You're a married woman," he pointed out. "I'm a widow," Kelly contradicted him, 'and I want to see the manager. " She threw the last comment at him through gritted teeth. "By all means," he agreed suavely, 'but you'll have to come back next week. He's on holiday at the moment. " Next week! That would be far too late! "Look, suppose you tell me your requirements... Do you need an escort for some official function?" "Not exactly," Kelly replied hesitantly, strangely reluctant to admit to this infuriating man exactly what she did want. "I see. Well, perhaps if you were to tell me exactly what you do want..." He removed what looked like an application form from the desk and bent his head over it. His hair was thick and dark and possessed a glossy, healthy sheen, Kelly noticed absently. Why on earth had she come here? She longed to turn tail and run out, but simply didn't dare. His face was perfectly composed and polite, and yet Kelly had the suspicion that inwardly he was laughing at her. Well, let him laugh, she thought angrily, she didn't care what he thought. Quickly she told him an edited version of her story. "I see," he said slowly, when she had finished. "You wish to hire an escort to accompany you to a friend's home for the weekend. Your friend is married and you feel that a threesome might be awkward?" That was what Kelly had told him, and she had no intention of saying any more. "And you don't have any male friends who could accompany you?" "Sue, my friend, is inclined to match make Kelly told him quickly, not without some truth. "I thought it best if I took a complete stranger-to avoid complications later. " I see. " His expression told her quite plainly that he did not, but Kelly had no intention of enlightening him. However, several minutes later she realised that she had underestimated him when he said softly, " This escort wouldn't be more of a body-guard by any chance, would he? " "Bodyguard?" Kelly looked at him sharply. "Look, if you don't want my business, just say so." She was beginning to lose her temper. Something about this man unleashed a powerful wave of antagonism she hadn't experienced in years. It must be something to do with the sexual magnetism that almost oozed from him--part of his stock in trade, she reminded herself scathingly, wondering what part he played in the agency. "Not at all," he responded smoothly, "I was merely trying to discover exactly what you had in mind. You must appreciate that a legitimate agency such as ours sometimes receives enquiries it isn't equipped to handle." Kelly went brick red as the meaning of his carefully chosen words sank in. "All I want is a male escort for the weekend," she ground out with loathing. "Nothing else!" "Well, in that case, Mrs. Langdon," he continued with a briskness that belied his earlier words, 'if you will simply give me the details I'm sure we'll be able to sort out something. " Coolly and concisely, Kelly told him. She thought she saw him hesitate when she gave him her address, and wondered cynically if he was mentally adding another nought to the bill she would be presented with. If so, he was in for a rude awakening. "Will you require a car?" he said formally. "I have my own," Kelly told him shortly. "Can you provide someone?" She was filled with distaste for what she was doing, but she had come too far to back down now, and she faced him with dogged determination, trying to ignore the embarrassment and anger she was experiencing. He studied her for a moment, then said slowly, "How important is it to you that we do?" It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that it wasn't important at all, but somehow she found herself saying huskily instead, "Very important." "Yes." The grey eyes held hers intently. "Yes, I thought it must be. Now, what time do you want our man to be at your apartment? " Quickly Kelly told him, only too glad to escape from the office ten minutes later, filling her lungs with steadily deep breaths as she stepped outside on to the pavement, only too glad to have the ordeal behind her. What was the matter with her? She had faced formidable Boards of Directors without flinching, and yet in front of that one man she had been reduced to a shivering, trembling wreck. Why? For the rest of the day she found it difficult to concentrate. She had told Maisie that she intended to be away for the weekend. "Take a couple of extra days off," Maisie urged. "You could do with the break. Go out and buy yourself a new dress." "I don't need one," Kelly told her briefly, only somehow she found herself leaving the office earlier than usual, and as it just happened to be a late shopping night, she found herself wandering through the^Knightsbridgestores; something that she hadn't done in ages. She saw a dress that caught her eye on one of the racks. In crepe satin by Calvin Klein, it was a deceptively simple wrap-round dress in a brilliant shade of pink. Somehow she found herself in the changing room with it over her arm, discarding her velvet suit in order to try it on. The neckline plunged almost to the waist, the long tight sleeves hugging her arms in much the same way as the satin hugged her body, the fabric caught up in a knot just above the waist. It was hideously expensive and not the sort of thing she wore at all, and yet somehow she found herself buying it, even though she told herself that she was mad and it was simply not the sort of thing to wear for a quiet dinner in the country. Sue rang her while she was still recovering from the shock of her spending spree. "You are still coming, aren't you, Kelly?" she pleaded. "I'm so looking forward to seeing you. I've been so miserable!" Kelly could tell that tears weren't far away, and hastened to assure her friend that she would indeed be there. "Jeremy will be glad to. I sometimes think lately that he finds my company very boring," she heard Sue saying wistfully. "Since the baby I've felt so down, and Jeremy always enjoyed the company of lovely women. I feel such a failure, Kelly... Here I am and I can't even produce a baby, and you ... you have a fantastic career, the whole world at your feet..." "Sue, you're not to think like that," Kelly told her. "I know--pathetic, aren't I? But I just can't help it. I feel so alone, Kelly, so frightened somehow. When do you plan to arrive?" "Well, actually, it isn't just me," Kelly told her hesitantly. "Is it okay if I bring a friend?" For a moment there was silence and then Sue asked excitedly, "A man? Kelly darling, tell me all about him! " Kelly laughed. "Wait and see." Well, she could hardly describe a man she hadn't yet met, could she? Her information seemed to have had a dramatic effect on Sue's mood, she bubbled and chattered in a way that reminded Kelly of a much younger Sue, and by the time she had rung off, Kelly was convinced that she had made the right decision, no matter what the cost to her own pride. She only hoped that the agency managed to produce someone presentable. She was a fool really, she ought to have asked to see a photograph and some background details, but she had been too flustered and angrily aware of her companion to do so. Saturday morning came round all too quickly. The arrangement was that her 'escort' would present himself at her apartment on Saturday morning at nine o'clock. Kelly was dressed and packed by eight-thirty, her stomach fizzing with a nervous dread she hadn't experienced since. since Colin, really. She inspected her reflection in the mirror once again. She was wearing her velvet suit, but this time her hair was caught back in a pretty gold- threaded velvet snood she had found in Liberty's and which added to the mediaeval effect of her outfit. It also had a softening effect of the severity of her hairstyle, and Kelly was frowning slightly over this when she heard her doorbell. Picking up her case and bag and checking that she had her keys, she headed for the hall, opening the door and coming to a full stop, her mouth opening in a round "Oh' of surprise as she recognised the man leaning indolently against the wall. "You!" He smiled as he took her case from her slackened grip and locked the door for her with the keys she had dropped in her agitation. "What are you doing here?" Kelly demanded acidly, furious with herself for letting him take the initiative and treat her like a demented child. "You wanted an " escort" for the weekend-here I am." He shrugged casually and glanced at his watch, completely impervious to her anger. "Shall we go? We'll make better time if we miss the morning traffic. The roads are practically empty at the moment. Are these your car keys? " He extracted them from the ring, handing her back her door keys with another smile, deftly pocketing the keys for her car as he motioned her towards the lift. This couldn't be happening, Kelly thought dazedly. She wasn't used to men taking control of her life in this way, especially men like this one- men who cashed in on their physical attractions in order to make a living. The sheer discrimination of her own thoughts shocked her, but they couldn't be denied; somehow it was different for women to exploit their looks in order to make a living than it was for a man. Telling herself she was being ridiculous, she headed for the lift, wishing the agency had sent anyone but this man. She had disliked him almost at first sight that day in the agency's offices, and now she felt a resurgence of her dislike, hating the calm way he was taking over, robbing her of the control she always had of her own life. When the lift stopped he stepped forward first, and Kelly seethed impotently, longing to push past him, but lacking the sheer brute strength, and sudden colour flooded her angry face as she realised he was simply ensuring that she wouldn't be caught in the lift doors. The expression in his eyes as she swept past him told her that he had guessed the direction of her thoughts, and she flushed again. The weekend had promised to be difficult enough as it was, now it threatened to be intolerable. "Why didn't you send someone else?" she muttered through clenched teeth to him as they entered the underground car park. "Or was the money too much of a temptation?" she asked nastily. She couldn't see his face, but the fingers cupping her elbow tensed suddenly and his smooth, "You find man's very natural desire to provide himself with a living contemptible? How odd. Or is it simply the means by which I earn mine?" silenced her. She had been betrayed by her own emotions into making a judgment that was completely biased, and he had underlined that fact. "It seems to me," he remarked pleasantly, as she headed for the silver-grey Mercedes convertible she had bought the previous year, 'that you have a chip on your shoulder where the male sex is concerned. I wonder why? " "Then don't!" Kelly snapped. "That's not what I'm paying you for." "You like reminding me of that fact, don't you?" he continued evenly. "Does it help to cancel out the old wounds, Kelly, knowing that now you can make the male dance to your tune?" His words shivered across her skin, too close to the truth for comfort, but she refused to acknowledge their accuracy, or the danger emanating from the man standing at her side. How could a man like this possibly be dangerous? He was simply someone whom she was using to prevent herself from being trapped in a potentially difficult situation. But he had used her name with an easy familiarity that had shocked her; and not just shocked. Hearing it on his lips had started a curious yearning ache deep inside her that she could neither define nor analyse. "I was the only suitable candidate the agency had available," he told her coolly, as they came to a full stop by the car. "If you wish to change your mind and cancel the contract then go ahead." Damn him, Kelly thought bitterly, he knew quite well she couldn't. "Very well," he continued, taking her silence for consent. "In that case perhaps I'd better intro duce myself properly. I'm..." he hesitated momentarily, "Jake Fielding." "Jake." Somehow she found herself taking the hand he offered, her fingers curling instinctively at the first touch of the vibrantly male flesh against them. He must have noticed her recoil, and she saw the speculation in his eyes as he bent to unlock the car door the passenger door, Kelly noticed, as he swung it open and waited. She looked up at him. "You don't expect me to let you drive?" "Why not? I have a current driving licence, if that's what's worrying you. You look tense and overtired," he added unkindly, "I thought you might enjoy an opportunity to relax before meeting your friends. Obviously you aren't looking forward to the weekend. " "How did you know that?" He looked surprised by her vehemence and shrugged. "It's obvious, if you didn't need to feel on the defensive in some way you wouldn't have felt it necessary to hire me." There was no way Kelly could argue against such logic, and somehow she found herself slipping into the passenger seat while Jake put their cases in the boot and then came round to join her. Whatever else she could say about him, she had to admit he was immaculately dressed, she thought, watching him discard the Burberry he had been wearing and toss it casually into the back of her car. The fine beige wool trousers and toning checked shirt were exactly what one would expect to find a top executive type wearing in the country, as was the cashmere sweater he was wearing over the shirt, and Kelly had to repress a strange pang of pain as he started the car. It seemed so wrong somehow that with all her success and wealth she had to pay someone to accompany her to Sue's. What had gone wrong with her life? Nothing, she told herself stoutly as the engine fired. She had everything she wanted; everything. Love was a chimera, she knew that; it didn't exist. God, she only had to look around her at her friends! The automatic seatbelt device proffered the belt and Kelly reached for it automatically, shocked by the tingling sensation of hard male fingers brushing her own as Jake performed the small service for her. She looked unwillingly at his hands. Dark hairs curled disturbingly against the wafer-thin gold wristwatch he wore. A present from a grateful customer? she wondered nastily, hating herself for the thought, and hating even more the strange pain that accompanied it. "All set?" She nodded briefly, reminding herself that Jake was simply a means of protecting herself against Jeremy--nothing more. As Jake had predicted, they were early enough to miss the morning traffic and once they were free of London the roads were clear enough for Kelly to be able to appreciate the beauty of a countryside slowly awakening to spring. She had driven down to Sue's before, but never along this route, which seemed to meander through small villages and open countryside and when she commented on this fact, Jake merely said that since they were driving to the New Forest the drive might just as well be as pleasant as possible. He praised the car and asked her how long she had had it, and yet there was no envy in the question; if anything, his tone was slightly amused and, nettled, Kelly responded coolly that she had bought it six months previously--as a birthday present. She knew the moment the boastful words left her mouth that they were a mistake. "You bought it for yourself?" The pity in his eyes made her long to cause him a corresponding pain, but caution prevailed. What did it matter what he thought? After this weekend she would never see him again, and yet even though she closed her eyes and feigned sleep she kept seeing over and over again the pity in his eyes. "We'll soon be reaching the Forest." The quiet words were pitched low enough to rouse her without waking her if she had been deeply asleep, and Kelly lifted her head, glancing through the window, entranced to see the massed bulk of the Forest ahead of them. "Would you like to stop for lunch?" "Sue is expecting us," Kelly told him curtly. She didn't like the way he kept insisting on taking control. She was the one in control. Ever since Colin she had had a dread of anything else. His shrug seemed to indicate that it meant little to him, and Kelly felt rather like a sulky child being humoured by a tolerant adult. "Tell me a little more about your friends," Jake instructed as the new spring greenery of the Forest closed round them. "How long have they been married? Do they have any family? I'll have to know," he added when he saw her expression. "If they're to accept me as a genuine friend of yours they'll expect me to know something about them." Grudgingly admitting that he was right, Kelly explained about Sue's miscarriage and consequent depression. "Umm, but that still doesn't explain why you felt the need for a male companion. It obviously isn't to boost your reputation with your friend or score off against her in some feminine way." He reduced speed, and glanced thoughtfully at her with cool grey eyes. "Something tells me there's something you're holding back." "I've told you all you need to know," Kelly denied, uncomfortably aware of the assessing quality of his gaze and the hurried thudding of her own heart. She couldn't admit the shameful truth; that she was using him as a barrier to hide behind, because for all her much vaunted independence, there was no other way she could get it through Jeremy's thick skull that she was totally uninterested in him. Sue and Jeremy had an attractive brick-built house not far from Ringwood. The Mercedes pulled up outside it shortly after one, and as Kelly climbed shakily out of the car, the front door opened and a plump, pretty blonde girl came rushing out, enveloping her in a warm hug. "Kelly, love, you look fantastic!" Sue beamed up at her. Barely five foot two, her lack of inches was something Sue constantly bemoaned; that and her tendency to put on weight. "And this..." she began appreciatively, glancing from Jake to Kelly. "Jake," Kelly introduced hurriedly. "I hope you don't mind..." Her voice trailed away, high colour touching her cheekbones as Sue grinned delightedly, "Mind? Kelly, you know me better than that But why haven't you told me before? I know you must be someone special," she confided to Jake, oblivious to Kelly's agitation and embarrassment. "Kelly would never have brought you down here otherwise. I can't remember the last time I've ever known her spend a weekend with any of her... Ah, here's Jeremy," she broke off as the front door opened again and Jeremy emerged. "Darling, come and say hello to Kelly and Jake," Sue smiled, and Kelly heard the note of uncertainty in her voice; heard it and shivered with apprehension when she saw the expression in Jeremy's eyes. "Kelly." He reached for her, his eyes hard. "I suppose I can't kiss you properly with your friend here looking on." He *******ed himself with a light peck, but Kelly was conscious of Jake's interested scrutiny. He was too astute, she admit ted uneasily, and there was something about the way he watched her that she found unnerving. Perhaps he was an out-of-work actor simply studying human reactions, and yet there was something in the look he gave her as Jeremy released her and turned to shake hands with him that told her his interest had been specific rather than general. "Come on inside," Sue encouraged. "Lunch is ready a cold buffet meal, that's all, but I'll take you upstairs to' your room first." Their room! Kelly froze and heard Jeremy saying smoothly behind her, "I've finally managed to persuade Sue to join the twentieth century and to realise that consenting adults don't want separate rooms." He had done it deliberately. Kelly could see it in his eyes. She wanted to protest; she felt like a trapped animal and knew that Jeremy was waiting for her to retract, and then, astoundingly, Jake was slipping an arm round her waist, drawing her back against his body. She could feel the even beat of his heart against her back, her body enveloped in a protective warmth that made her eyes sting with tears as he lowered his head and murmured against her hair, "What delightfully tactful friends you have, my love! I confess I hate wandering about in the darkness looking for the appropriate bedroom door!" |
CHAPTER THREE Lunch was a nightmare during which Jeremy alternately humiliated Sue with his deliberate cruelty to her and cross-questioned Jake with a condescension that made Kelly wince. Jake himself seemed impervious to his host's insulting manner, parrying his questions with a calm ease that Kelly couldn't help admiring, almost against her will. Her heart was in her mouth when Jeremy asked Jake what he did for a living, but Jake didn't hesitate for a moment. "This and that," he murmured with an easy smile, and from Jeremy's scowl Kelly knew that he had gathered from Jake's careless comment that he was implying that he was wealthy enough not to have to work. From then on the two men treated one another with cool hostility, and Kelly was glad to escape into the kitchen on the pretext of helping Sue with the washing up. "That was a lovely lunch," she complimented her friend. Privately, now that the initial glow of excitement occasioned by the arrival had gone, she thought her friend looked far too pale and listless. "Do you think so?" Sue grimaced. "I think Jeremy believes I should have made more of an effort, but we seem to be entertaining constantly at the moment. " She pulled a face. "I feel so tired, Kelly," she complained. "I've tried to tell him, but he just doesn't understand--about anything." She gave a muffled sob, causing Kelly to put aside the tea towel and take her in her arms. Her private opinion that Jeremy was a creep and that her friend would be better off without him was something she couldn't voice, so instead she comforted her by saying slowly, "You've had a bad time recently. Sue, you're bound to be feeling a bit under the weather. You need a decent rest." "That's what Dad says," Sue agreed shakily, 'but Jeremy says it's impossible for us to get away at the moment. Dad has a villa in Corfu, he's offered to lend it to us for Easter, but Jeremy doesn't seem very keen. " Her face suddenly lit up. "Kelly, I've had the most marvelous idea!" Kelly's heart sank as she guessed the words trembling on Sue's lips, but it was too late to stop them, and to her consternation Jake walked into the kitchen, both hands full of empty plates, his eyebrows raised in query, as Sue burst out impulsively, "Oh, and you too, of course, Jake, you must both come..." "Come where?" "I was just telling Kelly that my father has a villa in Corfu. He's offered to lend it to us for Easter--I'd love to get away, but Jeremy isn't keen. I was just asking Kelly if she'd come with me, but it would be fantastic if we could make up a foursome." She pulled another wry face at Kelly and said frankly, "In fact I think Jeremy would prefer a foursome." Her eyes clouded as she admitted unhappily, "He's grown so distant recently, Kelly, I sometimes think that perhaps..." "The only thing you need to think about is getting well again," Kelly headed her off, dreading hearing Sue put into words any doubts about her husband's fidelity. "And you will come? Oh, please!" Sue begged, tears sparkling in her eyes. "Both of you must come. I can still remember what it feels like to be so much in love that you can't bear to spend a moment apart, believe it or not. You must be a very special man, Jake," she teased suddenly, blinking away the betraying tears. "I never thought Kelly would allow herself to fall in love again after losing Colin so tragically, but the very fact that she's brought you down here proves me wrong, and I can't tell you how glad I am. He obviously wasn't the slightest bit deceived by that cool, efficient facade you hide behind, Kelly," she teased her friend, but tears still glimmered in her eyes, and Kelly felt a pang of pain for her friend that overrode her own embarrassment. Poor Sue, losing her baby was something she was finding it hard to come to terms with, and Jeremy didn't help, she thought angrily. Couldn't he see how much Sue needed his care and reassurance, or did he simply not care? "Kelly?" "You haven't told Sue whether we'll be able to join her at Easter or not yet," Jake reminded her. Kelly flashed him an irate glance. Of course it was impossible that they could. He knew that. She bit her lip, unnerved by the look she saw in his eyes. This man was her paid companion, she reminded herself, and he had no right to be behaving in the way that he was. She bitterly resented his assumption of control, the smooth way in which he had preempted her right to dominate their relationship. "I ... I'm not sure if I can get away from the office. Sue," she lied desperately. "Can I let you know?" She hated seeing the disappointment in her friend's face, but what could she do? After lunch they went for a walk. The countryside around the house was lovely, but the walk was spoiled for Kelly by Jeremy's boorish manner towards his wife and his constant references to the financial status of the owners of the properties they passed. She stiffened at one point when Jake murmured softly against her hair, "You and Benson ought to get on like a house on fire-you both believe that everything can be calculated in terms of money; the only difference between you is that you have it and he doesn't. I wonder why he didn't marry you?" "Perhaps because he wasn't given the opportunity," Kelly snapped. "Anyway, I was engaged myself when Sue met Jeremy." "Ah yes, of course." They had fallen a little way behind Sue and Jeremy, and Kelly hesitated, glancing up into the mocking face above her as she heard the question in the smooth, drawling voice. "Colin! Sue mentioned a tragedy. " He saw her wince and said coolly, " Believe me, I'm not prying or consumed by curiosity about your past, it's simply that I don't want to make any mistakes. " "Very professional!" Kelly bit her lip when she saw his expression. It was useless telling herself that he had no right to be annoyed; she could tell that he was. "Look," he grated against her ear, grasping her arm and swinging her round to face him, his fingers bruising the soft flesh of her upper arm with their grip, "I don't know when, where or why you started hating the male sex, nor am I in the slightest interested in your sexual hang-ups, okay? Now tell me about Colin." Kelly was too angry to reply. How dared he talk to her like that! she filmed. She would report him to his boss; why on earth had she been landed with him? She had wanted an 'escort' who would melt into the background, not this totally male creature who exuded male dominance and insisted on taking control. "Well? Or do I ask Jeremy?" he threatened softly. "Something tells me he'd be only too delighted to help me delve into your past." "Colin was my husband," Kelly muttered, hating him more with every passing second. What on earth had happened to her much vaunted hauteur? Something about this man shattered all her de fences he was like a steamroller, she thought bitterly, either too hard or too dense to see he was trespassing where he wasn't wanted, and yet she had the unnerving impression that he knew exactly how much she resented his probing; his determination to lay bare wounds she desperately wanted to cover up. "And?" The gall of the man! She drew in her breath in indignation, stunned into silent shock as his mouth suddenly descended on hers, blotting out the spring sunshine. A kaleidoscope of colours whirled between her tightly closed eyes, her entire body rejecting the male power of him, her mind silently shrieking its bitter resentment. Every muscle in her body tensed within the circle of his arms, her lips a stubbornly tight line of denial, as the warmth of his probed their curves. She opened her eyes, damning him with corrosive hatred, willing him to release her from the humiliation of the subjugation. "Take it easy," he murmured the words against her mouth. "Sue and Jeremy are watching. Unless you want them to think we're in the middle of a lovers' quarrel you'd better kiss me back." "Go to hell," Kelly muttered back, wrenching herself out of his arms and hurrying down the path. Her whole body was bathed in a fine film of perspiration. She felt sick and shaken. She hadn't been held like that since . since Colin, her mind forced her to admit. It had been a shock, finding herself in his arms like that, knowing herself incapable of breaking free without his tacit permission, and the knowledge had been frightening. "Everything okay?" Sue asked solicitously, when she caught up with them. "You look pale." Jeremy glared furiously at her and said acidly, "Well, well, so the ice has melted at last! I don't know how you've done it, old man," he commented to Jake when he caught them up, flinging his arm casually but so firmly round Kelly's shoulders that she couldn't break free. "Done what?" Jake asked, his eyes never leaving Kelly's pale face. "Melted the ice maiden," Jeremy said maliciously. "We'd all begun to think she'd frozen so hard it would take a pickaxe to get through to her." "Jeremy!" Sue reproached, giving Kelly an embarrassed glance. "Oh, it's all right. Sue," Kelly retorted, forgetting Jake for a moment in the heat of her anger. "I'm well aware that Jeremy thinks I'm frigid just because I don't jump in and out of bed with every man I meet." "See how fortunate you are," Jeremy said nastily to Jake. "Why, I'll just bet if it hadn't been for Colin, she'd still be a virgin; rich and innocent." She could feel Jake looking at her and knew that her cheeks were hot. How dared Jeremy talk about her like that! Her hands clenched in the pockets of her suede jacket. She knew why he was doing it, of course. He was trying to get back at her for bringing Jake with her, just as he had done when he suggested that Sue gave them a double room. Their room! She had forgotten about that. She worried at her bottom lip, and then told herself that she was being stupid. Jake was hardly likely to pounce on her simply because they were sharing a room. Even so. She glanced uncertainly at him, and was rewarded by a quick hug. "Kelly can give her money away to charity if she likes," she heard Jake drawl convincingly. "As my wife, she'll be supported by me, and not the other way around." "Lucky Kelly," Jeremy retorted. "Well, if you're looking for a charity, darling, do look in our direction first. I wish I'd had the good sense to find myself a rich wife." The look he gave Sue made Kelly long to demolish him with a few well-chosen phrases, but she had her friend to think of and so merely gave him an ice-cold glare. Jake was an excellent actor, she had to give him that. That bit about supporting his wife had been truly inspired, and totally convincing. She watched him covertly. He looked convincing. He looked the type of man on whom a woman could depend totally and completely. What on earth was she thinking? He was probably an out-of-work actor, used to playing all manner of parts. She was paying him to appear convincing! When they returned to the house, Kelly went upstairs to unpack. She had been hoping that Jake would accompany her, so that they could discuss the best way to save them both embarrassment in view of the fact that they would be sharing the room, but instead he remained downstairs talking to Sue, merely interrupting his conversation to smile warmly at her and say casually, "Unpack for me too, will you, darling. Although, thank God, I won't be needing the pyjamas I packed after all." Sue grinned appreciatively. "You're blushing, Kelly," she teased. "Now I really have seen everything!" It didn't take Kelly long to unpack. She hadn't brought much with her, just the new dress she had bought to change into for dinner, plus a skirt and jumper to wear tomorrow, her underwear and a silk nightgown she had bought on impulse several months before. She eyed it doubtfully as she lifted the soft blue fabric from her case. There was nothing particularly indecent about it, but it was more frilly and feminine than the nightshirts she normally favoured, and now she wished she hadn't packed it. When she went downstairs, she could hear Sue and Jake still talking. "I'm so glad she's found someone like you," she heard Sue saying, as she paused outside the door. "She's had a hard time since Colin died. I'd begun to think she was too frightened to let herself care for anyone else. Of course, you'll know better than anyone else that behind that cool faade she's. " Kelly pushed open the door, unable to bear listening to her friend saying any more. She couldn't look at Jake. "Kelly ... come and sit down next to Jake and I'll make us all a cup of tea. Jeremy's had to go out, but he won't be long. I've invited another couple to join us for dinner. One of Jeremy's clients. You'll like them..." Kelly couldn't bear the tense silence that followed Sue's departure. "I suppose you enjoyed hearing all that," she began fiercely. "Not enjoyed, precisely," Jake responded. "It was certainly enlightening." His arm was stretched across the back of the settee, and he started to wind a loose frond of hair from her chignon round his finger. "Don't do that!" Kelly hissed, jerking away and then gasping with pain as he refused to let her go. "Don't touch me!" "We're supposed to be lovers, remember," he drawled laconically. "Sue expects to come back and find us in each other's arms. Think back," he taunted. "Try remembering what it was like with Colin." Kelly couldn't stop herself. She went white, shaking with nausea as she did remember. Colin, wrenching her head round, pulling her hair, slapping her face. She wanted to be sick; to scream and cry as she hadn't done then; she was aware of the room starting to recede, of Jake's muttered imprecation, and then she was in his arms, struggling against their confines, hating the frighteningly male contact of his body--and yet in some strange way some part of her longed to simply acquiesce, to give in and rest her head against his shoulder, to draw comfort from the sheer solid maleness of him. "Kelly!" She was aware of the anxiety in Sue's voice as Jake responded for her. "She isn't feeling too well, but it's nothing to worry about." "Darling, you must go upstairs and rest, can I get you anything?" "I just felt faint," Kelly assured her. "Nothing much--I came out without breakfast and felt slightly carsick, but I'm all right now." "I think Sue's right, you ought to go upstairs and rest," Jake cut in firmly. "I'd come with you," he added with a wicked twinkle, 'but somehow I don't think' you get much sleep if I did. " Sue grinned, enjoying her friend's embarrassment, but Kelly was glad to escape from the room; from Jake's too disturbing presence. Something about him frightened her; and yet what possible reason could she have for feeling so threatened? In spite of her resolution she did fall asleep. Maisiewas right, she thought drowsily, lying on the large double bed, she did need a rest. The thought of Corfu at Easter was tempting, but only if she and Sue could go alone. She couldn't bear the thought of fending Jeremy off for an entire week. The door opening woke her. She glanced up sleepily, her heart pounding with fear, as she saw Jeremy standing there, watching her knowingly. "Nights too exhausting for you nowadays, are they?" he taunted. "So the iceberg's finally thawed! You should have told me, Kelly, I'd have been only too happy to oblige. Who is this guy anyway? I've never heard you mention him before. If you'd wanted a lover you only had to tell me." He was coming closer to the bed. Kelly knew she ought to get up, but her muscles were locked in remembered terror and dread, her eyes wild and haunted as she stared up at him. "You're a very desirable woman, Kelly, in spite of that cold front that comes on so strong," Jeremy continued. His eyes were on her breasts and Kelly felt her heart pound with terror as he reached out towards her. "She's also my, woman," Jake's voice interrupted coldly from the open door. Jeremy whirled round, glowering furiously. "What the..." "Sue's looking for you," she heard Jake say contemptuously, 'so unless you particularly want to cause an unpleasant scene I suggest you leave--now. " Kelly couldn't move; not even when the door had closed behind him. "So that's what it's all about," Jake commented quietly. "Pity," he added, his mouth thinning, "I was just beginning to be intrigued by you, wondering what lay behind the mask, but it's all a ploy, isn't it, Kelly; a fayade behind which you can conceal your affair with your friend's husband? Have you no compunction about what you're doing?" he demanded angrily. "Don't you think Sue's had a raw enough deal as it is? Can't you see what Benson is? Or don't you care?" "You've got it all wrong," Kelly choked, struggling to sit up. "You think so?" One dark eyebrow rose cynically. "It seems pretty obvious to me that the reason you needed an " escort" for this weekend was not so much to make up a foursome as to deceive your friend as to your real relationship with her husband." "No!" "No? Then what?" he taunted. "It was because of Jeremy, because I knew he.. he wanted me," she shuddered, 'that I wanted an escort. I couldn't disappoint Sue, as you say, she's been through too much, but I knew if I came here alone Jeremy would. " "Try to make love to you?" Jake supplied, watching her with an intensity that was unnerving. "And that was why you came to the agency?" "Yes." "Umm." "You don't believe me?" Kelly was astounded to hear herself asking the question. What did it matter to her whether he believed her or not? "Oh, on the contrary, I believe you completely," he averred, 'but what does puzzle me is why a cool, controlled lady like you should act like a terrified innocent every time a man comes near her. You were petrified just then," he reminded her, 'and I only have to come within a yard of you and you shrink away from me." "You're exaggerating," Kelly lied nervously, sliding off the bed. There was a look in his eyes she didn't like. It was distinctly speculative, and more . much more, she acknowledged, shivering with a sensual awareness of all that the look he was giving her implied. "Let's just put that to the test, shall we?" Jake murmured dulcetly. "I don't know what sort of game you think you're playing," Kelly gasped, 'but may I remind you that you happen to be in my employ, and that I could report you to the agency for this! " "Go ahead," he invited, mocking her. "It might just be worth it." Before she could stop him he had reached her, ignoring her stiffening muscles as his arms went round her, one hand tracing the rigid line of her spine, while the other deftly removed the snood constraining her hair, his fingers sliding through the silken weight he had released. "Stop this!" Kelly ordered. "Stop it right now!" She saw him frown, his eyes darkening suddenly as he exclaimed, "You're frightened! I wonder why..." "I'm not frightened," Kelly denied, "I'm just furiously angry. Who do you think you are? Just because you're a man you think you can assume whatever physical rights you choose to take-well, not with me, I..." Her eyes blazed their defiance up at him, her fists beating an angry tattoo against the impervious wall of his chest. "I've just saved you from a fate worse than death, remember?" he taunted. "Don't I get a reward?" "What do you want?" Kelly demanded nastily, 'a bonus? " "Why, you..." It was too late to tell herself that she had gone too far, much too late to evade the bruising pressure of his mouth on hers, stifling her protests, cutting off her breath, as he ground her lips back against her teeth, making her feel faint with fear and pain, only her eyes mirroring her shock and bitter resentment. "Kelly!" Her bruised mouth was released, and she winced with pain when his thumb brushed softly against its swollen fullness. "God, I..." "You wanted to hurt me," she stormed at him. "Well, you did. Satisfied? Is your male ego flattered by the knowledge that you can hurt me physically? You men, you're all the same! " she raged half hysterically. "You..." "No!" The harsh denial cut through her furious ravings. "No, Kelly, we're not all the same. I'm sorry I hurt you." He bent his head and she flinched, watching his eyes narrow and harden in some purpose she couldn't guess at. "You made me angry and I got angry back, but it wasn't a deliberate attempt to hurt you. Hasn't anyone ever told you that any man is bound to act like that when a woman freezes in his arms? Didn't Colin ever tell you that?" She went milk-white, her eyes dark with pain, her fingers curling against his shoulder. "Kelly?" "I..." She gasped as his mouth brushed the parted softness of hers, but it was too late to reject him. Her de fences were already far too weak and it seemed far easier simply to lie passively against him, and give in to the gentle motion of his mouth against hers; teasing, and tantalising with a touch as gentle as butterfly wings, the moist warmth of his mouth stroking over the outline of her lips, encouraging them to soften and part to cling helplessly to the hard warmth of his; her mind reeling, spinning with the impact of what was happening to her. "Kelly, are you all right?" She was dimly aware of Sue's voice outside the door, of Jake releasing her slowly, his eyes holding hers, daring her to deny that she hadn't responded to him; that she hadn't--she shivered with the knowledge--actually for one brief second physically wanted him. "Kelly!" She made a superhuman effort to regain control of her senses. "We're coming. Sue," she called back to her friend. "I'm fine now." "Kelly..." Jake was watching her, and she sensed that there was something that he wanted to say to her. Could he have guessed how long it was since she had been kissed like that? How many years her starved senses had been denied the sensual contact they had just enjoyed? "I must go... I..." "Kelly, what is it you're so frightened of?" he asked quietly. "Nothing," she lied tautly. "I'm not frightened of anything... Now, will you let me go," she hissed, pulling away from him and heading for the door. Was she going completely out of her mind? Allowing him to kiss her like that? What on earth was happening to her? She had been told she was frigid for so long that she had come to believe it, she acknowledged as she opened the door. She had thought herself impervious to the kind of sexual arousal Jake had just subjected her to, but she wasn't, and the knowledge terrified her. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing a completely different reflection from the one she was accustomed to. Jake had kissed her--once-and her body ached with a need she was terrified to put a name to. Why? Why now? and why, oh, why with this man who saw and knew far too much about her already? "So you're Kelly's friend?" Jennifer Gordon eyed Jake appreciatively. "Lucky Kelly!" "Exactly my sentiments," Sue admitted with a laugh. At the other end of the table Jeremy shot his wife a thin-lipped smile and said nastily, "Sorry, darling--you couldn't afford him, could she, Kelly?" Jennifer Gordon's cold blue eyes sharpened speculatively, and Kelly longed to dash the *******s of her wine glass in Jeremy's over-fed and pasty face. "My feelings for Kelly have nothing to do with her wealth," Jake cut in coldly, and if Kelly hadn't known better she could have sworn that that was real anger she saw in his eyes, real intent behind the pointed comment, real desire in the look he bestowed upon her as he lifted her hand and turned it palm upwards, towards his lips, his brief caress where her pulse raced treacherously sending shimmering waves of reaction through her. She wouldn't be sorry when the whole farce was over, Kelly decided later, smiling politely as the Gordons left. It was well after one, Jeremy was obviously and unpleasantly drunk, and Sue had borne his snide insults so bravely all evening that Kelly could have wept for her. Sue was worth twenty of her husband, Kelly fumed; how could she simply sit there and allow him to insult her, the way he had done? Half an hour later she was on the point of going upstairs when Jeremy staggered out into the hall. "I wish you luck of her," he muttered to Jake, who was behind her. "Frigid little bitch!" Kelly was glad Sue hadn't been there to overhear him, and her face was still flushed with anger when she walked into the bedroom. "I'm sorry about this, " she apologised in a stilted fashion to Jake. ' Jeremy's idea of a joke. " He recognised the bitterness in her voice and glanced thoughtfully at her. "Meaning that since he never loses an opportunity of calling you " frigid" he thinks he's punishing us both by telling Sue that we wanted to sleep together? You've been behaving rather strangely for a liberated and experienced lady." "Meaning what exactly?" Kelly demanded, suspecting that he was mocking her. "Merely that I thought every woman knew these days that feminine frigidity is a myth put about by incompetent male lovers." His raised eyebrows invited her to comment and when she didn't he mused thoughtfully, "Personally I'm still romantic enough to believe that sex--no matter how excellent--lacks impact without the intensity of mutual desire- mutual love. " Kelly stared at him in surprise. These were the last sentiments she had expected to hear him express. "What's wrong? You know," he added thoughtfully, 'there's something distinctly intriguing about you, Kelly. On the one hand we have the cool controlled career woman, who cuts emotion right out of her life; on the other we have the grieving widow who misses her husband so much that she can't bear to let another man near her. Something tells me the real Kelly is neither of those women. You could represent an irresistible challenge to some man, Kelly. " "But not to you," she parried dangerously, daring him to contradict her. "Oh, I don't know... But that's not what you hired me for--or is it?" he asked softly. "Is that what you wanted, Kelly? A man to share your bed without question or criticism; someone who you could simply pay to disappear when you'd grown bored with him..." "That's a disgusting suggestion!" Kelly choked. "If I wanted someone to go to bed with, I wouldn't have to resort to buying myself a man!" "I wasn't suggesting you would," Jake retorted quietly. "I was merely implying that your inadequacies might prompt you to do as men do in similar circumstances--that is, you might prefer to pay for your pleasure; treat your partner as an object; a commodity who you could simply use and discard..." Kelly wasn't listening; she hadn't heard more than the first few words. "What inadequacies?" she demanded shakily. "What do you mean?" Jake shrugged. "You know damned well what I mean, Kelly. You freeze every time anyone comes near you--you've been married; you're not a child; I don't know what it is that makes it impossible for you to react normally to men, but it's definitely there. " Kelly didn't dare to respond. Instead, she picked up her robe and bolted for the bathroom. Hateful creature! How dared he imply that she might feel inadequate! If she didn't like being mauled and pawed by all and sundry that was only because she was choosy. She despised men . and she had every right to. She had proved that a woman could be every bit as successful, every bit as ruthless and determined. But what about the cost of proving it? Slowly she stopped undressing, shivering slightly. The cost had been high, she acknowledged. She trusted no one;shared her life with no one; neither lover nor family. She was completely and absolutely alone, and she was tired of telling herself that she preferred it that way. She was glad that she had the privacy of the bathroom, and that she could run the water to drown out the sound of her tears. Not that there was much sound; they flowed silently and steadily, as though they had been dammed up for far too long, undl she was too exhausted to do more than shower briefly and get ready for bed. When she opened the door, Jake was sitting in an armchair apparently engrossed in a book. "Ah," he explained when she walked in. "Bathroom free? What's the plan for tomorrow?" he asked casually, picking up the pyjamas she had laid on the bed, and a to welling robe. "What time do you plan to leave?" "After lunch," Kelly told him expressionlessly, wondering why she should feel so affected by the fact that he had barely glanced at her. That was what they had arranged before dinner, wasn't it? That since they had to share a room, they would do so in a civilised and un fussing manner. At least, she amended, that was what she had arranged. Jake had merely listened grimly in a silence which she remembered now had been fraught with an odd sort of tension. She heard the bathroom door close behind him as she unpinned her hair and started to brush it methodically. She hoped that before he emerged she would be in bed and feigning sleep. Not that she had any fears that he might attempt to touch her; his comments about her inadequacies had more than banished those, and her face burned fiercely as she remembered the look which had accompanied them! How dared he pity her! How dared he! |
CHAPTER FOUR kellymoved restlessly in her sleep, tormented by the ghosts who pursued her. Colin . mocking her. Colin . hurting her. She cried out, twisting desperately to escape the clutching hands she knew from experience could cause such pain, suddenly jerked from her nightmare as a light snapped on and a husky voice growled sleepily, "For God's sake, what's going on?" It took her several seconds to realise where she was, who the voice belonged to, by which time Jake too was fully awake, his face puzzled and concerned as he studied her. "That was some nightmare," he commented briefly. "Are you all right?" She wanted to say 'yes', but the word stuck in her throat. She sat up, shivering as she felt the chill night air striking her bare back and shoulders, unconscious of the terror trapped in her eyes as she glanced nervously round the room. "Would you like a drink? A cup of tea?" A cup of tea! Oh, how she yearned for one. "I'll go down and make us one. You stay here." "Us." How intimate the small word sounded! Kelly shivered when Jake left the room, without him it seemed alien and empty, her nightmares crowding back, dragging her back into the past. Why, tonight of all nights, did she have to relive the horror of her wedding night? She had stopped dreaming about it years ago, but tonight for some reason the old nightmare had surfaced in all its shocking intensity. She could almost imagine she saw the bruises forming on her smooth flesh where Colin had punished her. She moaned softly, her eyes going blank, and she was shivering with reaction and terror when Jake came back, frowning as he put the mug of steaming tea on the table beside her, the bed depressing under his weight as he sat down. "Want to tell me about it?" His hand stroked her hair back off her hot face. "Your hair's lovely," he told her unexpectedly. "Like silk, and your skin's so pale." His glance lingered appreciatively on the outline of her breasts beneath the flimsy fabric of her nightgown, his eyes narrowing as she flushed darkly. "You don't have to say that," she told him jerkily, trying to draw away, but his arm round her waist constrained her. "What?" He was frowning again. "What don't I have to say, Kelly?" "You don't have to flatter me," she retorted tightly. "I wasn't flattering you." His voice was pleasant but firm. "Flattery implies that I was speaking with some ulterior motive. I was simply stating facts; that you have lovely skin and hair, which you do." With his free hand he touched the shining length of her hair, his thumb tracing the line of her shoulder. Delicious tremors of sensation slid over her skin, and Kelly shivered again. "You're cold." Before she could protest, she was drawn against him, her skin flushing heatedly as she realised that the smooth warmth she could feel against her back was his naked chest; for he had not worn the jacket of the pyjamas she had put out for him. "Don't panic." She could hear the amusement in his voice as it brushed her ear. "I'm simply doing the gentlemanly thing and helping you to keep warm while you drink your tea. Here." He reached forward and handed her the mug, but Kelly had to hold it with both hands, she was trembling so much; and it wasn't just her hands, her whole body was trembling, trembling so much that she was spilling the tea, and then suddenly weak tears were sliding down her face, and she was shivering and crying alternately, unable to understand what was happening to her. "Kelly, for God's sake!" Jake didn't sound amused now, and he didn't sound angry either. He sounded . concerned. But why should he be concerned about her? She felt his hands on her arms, turning her, holding her against the warmth of his chest, her face buried in the curve of his shoulder, his hands on her back, stroking, soothing, calming her overwrought emotions, the murmurs of comfort she could hear above her head, the soothing sound of waves against a beach. She felt lulled and safe, warm and protected, and it came to her on a jolting tide of awareness that she didn't want to leave his arms. She wanted to stay there. She stilled, and lifted her head. "Kelly!" There was a raw note of warning in Jake's voice, and she realised for the first time that her breasts were pressed against the exposed flesh of his chest, their only covering the fine satin of her nightgown. "Kelly." This time her name was a statement of intent, and although he gave her plenty of opportunity to do so, Kelly made no attempt to move away as he lowered his head, touching the stilled softness of her lips. Her eyes clung to his. This couldn't be happening, Kelly thought heatedly. She couldn't be in this bedroom, in bed with this stranger, letting him kiss her, wanting him to make love to her, but she was and she did, and she couldn't understand what was happening to her. Suddenly, she didn't want to understand, she simply wanted to touch and be touched, to be close to and part of another human being. Her small choked cry was lost beneath the heated pressure of Jake's kiss, a potent, drugging kiss that blinded her to what shreds of reason she had left. Her arms crept round his neck, his smothered groan as the brief movement brought her breasts in closer contact with Jake's chest, activating a response inside her that urged her to press her body closer to his, to exult in the hurried throb of his heart as his hands moved to the neck of her nightgown, unfastening the small bows that fastened it, his eyes darkening as he held her gently away, pushing aside the fabric to expose the swollen peaks that had wantonly incited him to do just exactly that. Kelly couldn't believe her own behaviour. Her stomach muscles quivered in aching protest, not at what she was doing--no, what she ached for was Jake's possession; his desire and the knowledge that she was desirable and capable of arousing such a man. "Aren't you going to take it off?" Her mouth was dry as she whispered the words, Jake's eyes darkening in acknowledging response as he murmured huskily, "Just try and stop me." And then he was pushing aside the blue satin, and she should have felt embarrassed about the way he was studying her body, but all she could do was to try and control the fierce tide of exultation that swept her as she saw the dark colour running up under his tan as he studied her, and then he was removing his pyjamas, and she closed her eyes, seeing for a moment Colin, but it was only for a moment, for Jake was nothing like Colin, and her eyes widened in appreciation of his muscular masculinity, her fingers touching the tanned skin with tentative hesitancy as she became lost in a voyage of tactile discovery. "Kelly, Kelly, what are you trying to do to me?" Jake groaned, the sound muffled against her throat as his tongue stroked over the sensitive skin, his hands exploring her body with a much surer touch than hers had on him. She gasped as he pushed her down against the pillows, one hand tangling in the silky length of her hair while the other cupped one pale breast. "I've been wanting to do this ever since you walked into that damned office," Jake muttered thickly against her skin, and then Kelly was incapable of thinking, of breathing almost as he lowered his head, his tongue stroking urgently against her nipple, her mind reeling with shock and excitement as he savoured the arousal of her flesh, teasing it until she was almost lightheaded with the pounding ache of desire in her body. "Jake!" She moaned his name despairingly, touching the dark hair, gasping her shock aloud as his hand slid over her hip and stroked her stomach, the sensations he aroused inside her as he sucked lier throbbing breast spiralling wildly out of control until she couldn't contain them any more and she was clutching anxiously at his shoulders, her body arching willing beneath him, eager for the pleasure he was giving her. "So good," Jake muttered thickly as his lips caressed her breast. "I've wanted you like this from the first moment I saw you." He sounded almost drugged, his voice roughened by a desire that Kelly felt too. His free hand slid down to her hips, holding her against him, his teeth nibbling seductively at her sensitised skin, his body unashamedly aroused, and incredibly she felt a heated response; a need that burned through her. The nightmare which had originally woken her was completely forgotten--everything was forgotten apart from Jake and the sensations he was bringing to life in her passion-drugged body. She responded to his touch with a feverish intensity that drove out everything else. She didn't know what subtle chemistry there was between them that made her react to him in the way she did, she only knew that it was there. She moaned, every nerve-ending tingling erotically, her body crying out for his possession. His hand touched her thigh, his lips murmuring her name hoarsely against her skin, and she shivered suddenly as the memories stormed back, and it was not Jake touching her, but Colin. Colin who called her name and violated her body, her emotions. She tensed instinctively, dimly aware of Jake lifting his body from hers, watching her, his eyes dark and hard. "Kelly? What the hell is this?" he demanded tersely. "What sort of game do you think you're playing?" "Don't touch me," Kelly moaned softly. She was shivering, tears filling her eyes, the past sweeping her inexorably backwards in time, and she shuddered in revulsion remembering how it had been; how Colin had hurt her. "Don't touch you? Don't worry, I won't," Jake bit out grimly. "There's only one excuse--one permissible explanation for what you've just done. If you were a virgin I might ... just might be able to understand, but we both know you're not. So why?" "Colin," Kelly muttered sickly barely aware of what she was saying. "You reminded me of Colin and..." The oath that ripped from Jake's throat silenced her, and too late she realised he had misunderstood. He stood over her, pulling on his robe, his face like granite, as he reached for one of the blankets, wrenching it off the bed. "I never play substitute," he told her icily. "Never, Kelly. Got that? Oh, there's no need to look at me like that," he added silkily, " I don't get my kicks from using force. You're sick, Kelly. You're looking for a man who's prepared to play a part, who's prepared to be "Colin" , but I'm not that man. The next time I touch you, Kelly, it will be because you ask me. Me . not Colin, not anyone else. Me! " He was angry, furiously, bitterly angry. How could she tell him that he was wrong; that it wasn't like that? That just for a moment she had remembered the brutality of Colin's lovemaking, and the memory had turned her from a warm,responsive woman into a terrified numbed child? And what about him? He had wanted her right from the start, he had said, but wasn't that just exactly the sort of polished line a man like him would use? How many lonely, defenceless women had hoped to find love in his arms? She shuddered again as realisation of what she had been about to do swept over her. She had wanted Jake with a physical compulsion totally outside her experience, and he had played on that, sensing her want, feeding it, but why? He was an attractive, experienced predatory male;hewas also, she suspected, a poor one. The conclusions were obvious--so obvious that she couldn't understand why she herself hadn't drawn them before! Only another hour and then they could leave, Kelly decided thankfully, glancing surreptitiously at her watch. The weekend had been a complete disaster in every way, and as for last night! She shuddered, unable to stop her memory from playing back for her a blow-by-blow repetition of the night's events. What on earth had possessed her? There could only be one word for it--lust! All the repressed desires of all those years since Colin, and she hated herself for what had happened. She would have preferred to pretend that it hadn't happened, but the aching throb of her swollen breasts reminded her all too uncomfortably that it had. "Kelly, you haven't been listening to me," Sue reproached. "I was just saying to Jake that it would be lovely if you could both join me at Easter." 'might be able to. Sue," Kelly told her, forcing herself to pay attention, 'but I'm afraid it's impossible as far as Jake is concerned, isn't it, darling?" "Oh, I don't know." She glared furiously at Jake, wondering what on earth he thought he was doing. "I dare say something could be arranged," he said smoothly. "It's time I had a break." "But you said you were far too busy," Kelly improvised wildly. " Mmm, perhaps I'm having second thoughts. It's certainly a tempting prospect: you, me, the sun and the sea." "Quite the romantic, isn't he?" Jeremy sneered. An animosity had developed between the two men, brought on, Kelly was sure, by Jeremy's fury because she had out manoeuvred him by bringing Jake with her. That at least had been the right decision and made everything else worth while. Sue looked a good deal more cheerful this morning, and Kelly shuddered to think what might have happened if she hadn't had Jake to keep Jeremy at bay. "Oh, please say you will," Sue implored, 'and it needn't be too expensive. Daddy is letting us have the villa rent free. " "Sounds terrific," Jake responded with a smile. No doubt it did to him, Kelly thought sourly, all her previous doubts re-surfacing. Why was he encouraging Sue? To make sure he got a free holiday? What had been behind his behaviour last night? Her heart started to thump uncomfortably. She was a rich woman and a lonely one. Only she knew how close she had come last night to giving in to the most basic impulse of all human beings; the need to be close to another of their own kind. But what if Jake had sensed her need? He was a man who quite patently had expensive tastes and equally obviously did not have the means to indulge them. His clothes were expensive; surely he couldn't afford them out of the wages he earned from the agency? If he was an actor he wasn't a very well-known one; perhaps he had grown tired of waiting for the big break of playing the polished escort to rich women. Perhaps he had decided it was time he cashed in on his undoubted attractions? Why should she find the thought so disturbing? "So you will come?" Sue sounded excited and Kelly dragged her mind back to the present. "Of course we will, won't we, darling?" "We will what?" she asked Jake suspiciously. He hadn't touched her this morning--at least not physically--he undressed her mentally every time he looked at her, and she seethed with bitter indignation as she watched him doing so. "We will join Sue at Easter? We could both do with the break." "You may do, but I..." "You do too," Jake said firmly. "After all, I could hardly go without you." Too true, she thought ironically. How could he afford it? "I'm not sure. Sue," she began, suppressing a gasp of pain as Jake gripped her fingers painfully, warning her not to go on. "What was all that for?" she demanded angrily when they were alone. "I don't have the slightest intention of going to Corfu with you and you know it! " "Why not? Do you prefer to remain in England--with Jeremy?" "Jeremy!" Funny, but she had almost forgotten him; forgotten the reason she had hired Jake in the first place. "Yes, Jeremy," Jake mocked. "Sue's husband. Surely you haven't forgotten him already? If you stay behind, he's bound to jump to the conclusion that you've done so because of him." It was true, and Kelly couldn't deny it. If she remained in London Jeremy would invent some excuse to come and see her. "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by this," she told him angrily, 'unless it's a free holiday! " . She had expected him to be angry, but instead he merely laughed. "That helps," he admitted, 'but there are other considerations. " "Such as the fact that you're getting tired of being a paid companion," Kelly hazarded wildly. "Well, if you think..." "How would you know what I think?" he goaded softly. "And, Kelly--' She turned to glare at him. "Try backing out of this," he said softly, 'and I'll see that Sue gets to know the truth about her husband. " Kelly paled. "You wouldn't!" "Try me," he advised grimly. "You're despicable, do you know that?" "Then that makes two of us, doesn't it?" he said quietly. "Or doesn't what you did last night come into that class in your book? Never mind," he told her grimly, 'it does in mine. " "You don't understand..." "Then tell me," he invited levelly, but Kelly couldn't say a word; couldn't betray to him now, in the cold light of day, the fact that she had withdrawn through fear and remembered pain. Only a virgin, he had said, and she wasn't that. but he was wrong, she was! And she was beginning to think she was destined to remain so for the rest of her life. Last night she had wanted him, this morning she was bewildered by the emotions he aroused in her. Easter was less than a month away. Sue talked excitedly all through lunch of the holiday, while Jeremy sulked. "That's right," he goaded Sue. "Go off and leave me while you enjoy yourself." "Why don't you come with us?" Jake interposed smoothly. "Surely you could manage a few days?" "Oh yes, darling, do," Sue breathed. "I might," Jeremy muttered. Less than an hour later they were on their way back to London. Kelly hunched furiously in her seat as she seethed inwardly at the way in which Jake had manipulated her. "Sulking?" he asked trenchantly as they neared London. "You had no right to accept Sue's invitation. Why did you?" "Oh, I have my reasons," he told her lazily, 'and like I said, don't try backing out, Kelly," he warned her, 'or you know what will happen." "What are you looking for? It can't just be a free holiday." "Not just," he agreed, smiling mockingly at her. "Don't worry, Kelly," he drawled as he manoeuvred the powerful car into another lane, "I'm not Jeremy, and I have no intention of forcing myself on you." No, but he wouldn't need to use force, Kelly admitted, shivering a little. Had he guessed how much he had aroused her? She was rich and she was vulnerable--too vulnerable, and she only wished she knew what was in his mind. He stopped the car an hour later outside her block of apartments, getting out and retrieving her case. "I'll park this and then see you up," he told her easily, not giving her the opportunity to refuse. He was back within minutes, his hand under her elbow, as he guided her towards the lift. "I'm perfectly capable of managing on my own," she told him stiffly. "Ah, but I must do the job properly." He saw her to her door, turning the key in the lock for her. "The bill," she began hesitantly. Would they invoice her, or did she pay now, or. "Leave it until we get back from Corfu," Jake advised her carelessly. "Still," he added thoughtfully, "I don't suppose there's any harm in my taking a little something on account." He bent his head, his lips brushing hers lightly, mocking her startled expression. "Why did you do that?" Kelly demanded when he had finished. "You said..." "I know what I said," he agreed hardly, 'but perhaps I've decided to give you a second chance. See you at Heathrow. " He was gone before she could respond. What did he mean? she seethed, as she walked into her apartment. He had decided to give her a second chance? A second chance of what? She returned to her office on Monday morning, fully determined to put a call through to the agency and cancel the trip to Corfu, but when she reached the office it was to find that she had to fly out to New York urgently to discuss a new contract. It was ten days before she was back. She tried the agency several times but without getting an answer, resolving that she would just have to keep on trying until she did get through. |
CHAPTER FIVE job, I'm so looking forward to getting away," Sue murmured, easing off her shoes. "Aren't you?" She had rung up the previous day to tell Kelly that she was coming up to London to shop and they had arranged to have lunch together. "Jeremy is coming with us after all," Sue continued without waiting for an answer. "Kelly..." Kelly's heart sank. There was a note in Sue's voice that warned her of what was to come. "Kelly, I know you'll think I'm being stupid," Sue got out in a rush, 'but I'm so worried. Jeremy's been so . so different since I lost the baby. " She produced a watery smile. "I'd even got to the stage of wondering if there was someone else!" "Then you're a fool," Kelly told her firmly, mentally adding to herself. Who would be stupid enough to want Jeremy? "Look, love," she told Sue. "Things have been difficult for you both lately. I know how much it hurt you--losing the baby..." "Jeremy too Sue broke in loyally. "Oh, I know he doesn't show it much, but he was looking forward to being a father..." Kelly didn't know what to say. To murmur that there would be other babies seemed so crass somehow. "I'm sorry, I told myself I wasn't going to moan on to you. How's Jake?" Sue asked, determinedly changing the subject. "I like him, Kelly. He's so right for you somehow." Kelly smiled noncommittally. She had already decided to tell Sue that her 'romance' with Jake was off. Then she was going to telephone the agency and cancel the arrangements for Corfu. So Jake thought he could blackmail her into providing him with a free holiday, did he? He was in for a big shock! "Oh, here's Jeremy," Sue exclaimed, her face breaking into a smile. "He said he'd try to join us if he could." Jeremy greeted his wife, and Kelly tried to conceal her distaste as he turned to kiss her, making sure it was her cheek that received the moistly unpleasant touch of his lips and not her mouth. Jeremy ordered fresh tea for himself and Sue excused herself to go to the ladies', leaving Kelly alone with Jeremy. "All set for Corfu, then?" he asked, leering at her faintly. "How's the great romance? Shouldn't have thought he was your type, Kelly. Doesn't exactly strike me as the faithful sort either. Never mind," he told her with another leer, his hand finding its way to her knee, " I'm always ready to make sure you don't get too lonely. You've only got to say the word. " He was eyeing her speculatively, and Kelly felt sickened by the expression in his eyes. Were all men like this? Lusting after every woman who caught their eye with no thought of loyalty or respect? "Pity he's coming to Corfu with us," Jeremy added, his eyes narrowing as he watched her. "So the ice-lady isn't quite as cold as she pretended to be. How did he do it, Kelly?" Kelly was thankful that Sue returned before she had to answer. Jeremy sickened her, but he was still Sue's husband. She gritted her teeth, knowing now that it would be impossible to cancel the coming holiday. Jeremy had invaded the privacy of her bedroom once already--she wouldn't put it past him to try again. She was going to have to find an opportunity to tell Sue that this time she and Jake wouldn't want to share a room, although quite how she was going to do that she didn't yet know. Her vulnerability to Jake's practised charm was something that astounded and terrified her. It was a galling admission to make, but she knew that she couldn't trust herself to resist him if he tried to make love to her again. She couldn't analyse what had happened to her;perhapssheer old fashioned frustration was the simplest answer; she was twenty-six and had never had a lover, had never wanted one, until now. She had once thought that Colin's treatment of her had frozen all her natural responses for good, but she had been wrong. In spite of his charm, his pleasant manners, and his obvious physical attraction, something about Jake frightened her; or was it her own reaction to him which was so terrifying? Heathrow was a seething cauldron of humanity. Kelly searched desperately for Sue's familiar face amongst the crowds milling everywhere, wishing she had not had to come straight from the office to the airport. She felt hot, tired and grubby, uncomfortably out of place among these people in their obvious holiday clothes. She was wearing a wool and linen mix suit severely tailored, and a toning high-necked silk blouse. The temperature had started to rise during the day; she had had problems getting a taxi, and her suitcase felt uncomfortably heavy. A light touch on her shoulder had her whirling round, her eyes darkening in bitter recognition as she saw Jake standing there. Unlike her he was dressed for the flight, in jeans which clung smoothly to the intensely masculine shape of his body, and a checked shirt open at the neck to reveal the dark hair shadowing his chest. Her heart in her mouth, Kelly could only stare at him, shocked by her own response to the intense masculinity of him. Eyes narrowed, he watched her. Did he know what sort of effect he had on her? She felt herself flushing as foolishly as any schoolgirl and turned angrily to lift her suitcase. "I'll take that." "I can manage." "Who would dare doubt it?" His eyes mocked her. "But we are supposed to be lovers, remember? Sue and Jeremy are waiting in the bar." He lifted her suitcase effortlessly, matching his long stride to her shorter one, indicating the bar where Sue and Jeremy were waiting. "I'll get this checked in for you," he told her. "Sue's given me the tickets." Sue had made all the arrangements and Kelly had sent her a cheque for their tickets. Her mouth compressed angrily at his assumption of control, her body bristling with resentment. What was it about him that affected her like this? Was it because he made her feel so vulnerable? So. feminine? Was that why she had hired him? Because somehow the fact that she was paying for his time gave her the upper hand, made her feel safer--evened out the differences between them? Was she afraid to give him any advantage over her? Was she afraid of him? She shivered, not liking the direction of her thoughts. Since Colin, she had deliberately kept any involvement with the opposite sex to a bare minimum; in fact her male friends were mostly older, well-married men; or younger less sexually aggressive ones. "What would you like to drink?" She hadn't heard him arrive and jumped slightly, her eyes widening as he placed his hand on her shoulder, bending towards her, capturing her parted lips and caressing them briefly. " Mmm... nice," he murmured as he released her. She could feel Sue and Jeremy watching them and flushed angrily. There had been no necessity for Jake to kiss her like that. It was already well established in their minds that they were lovers; there had been no need for him to underline it. Her lips tingled pleasurably, and she hated herself because she knew that when he kissed her she had felt an almost irresistible urge to touch him. They went through the normal boarding formalities without any problems, and as the engines warmed up Kelly experienced her normal stomach-clenching fear. She had never been able to get over her dislike of flying and she knew her nails were digging into the arms of her seat, her eyes fixed rigidly on the back of the seat in front of her. She closed her eyes, willing herself to keep calm, not to give in to the fear clenching her muscles. "So you are human after all," Jake murmured against her hair. He lifted her hand from the seat arm, clasping it warmly between his. She wanted to pull away, but the plane started to move and her nails curled protestinglyinto her palm. "It's okay, we'll soon be up." Jake spoke soothingly, transferring one arm round her trembling shoulders, her face buried in the curve of his chest, his free hand still clasping hers. Beneath her cheek his body felt solid and muscular. She was suddenly aware of the warm masculine smell of him, the reassuring thump of his heart; the comfort of his arm holding her, protecting her. What on earth was she thinking? This was a man who made his living from making himself attractive to women. The plane lifted, and she moaned a small protest, closing her eyes and clutching instinctively at the open neck of his shirt. And then they were airborne, and the pounding of her heart had lessened. The stewardesses were moving about, the relieved chatter of the passengers filtering through the tense silence of takeoff. "All right?" Jake asked matter-of factly releasing her. "Fine." She knew she sounded abrupt, but she hated him seeing and knowing her weaknesses. "You really hate it, don't you?" he drawled sardonically. Kelly glanced at him suspiciously. "Tell me something. Have you ever relied on anyone, Kelly; let your de fences down; given them your trust? Or did you bury all the normal feminine responses with your husband?" "For " feminine" read " weak and vulnerable", I suppose you mean?" Kelly stormed back. Jake was shaking his head, his mouth wry. "No, that's what you mean, Kelly. When I say " feminine", I mean a woman's instinctive and very flattering need to lean on a male shoulder occasionally. Don't you ever stop to think how emasculating your attitude is, what a turn-off it can be? I pity the poor male who's fool enough to fall for you, Kelly, you'd never give him a chance, would you? You'd never let him be a man ... or a lover." Her face was darkly flushed. Kelly hated him for what he was saying, but wasn't it true? "I don't want a man," she managed thickly at last, 'or a lover. " "Why? Because no one could compare with Colin?" "You're just like all the rest," Kelly hit out wildly. "You want a woman to be subservient, to..." "What I want a woman to be is a woman," Jake corrected. "A woman isn't a man, Kelly, and that means she is neither inferior nor superior; she is simply different, and I personally wouldn't want it any other way." No, because he knew how vulnerable her sex was to men like him, Kelly seethed, men who used their sexuality to beguile and deceive, just as Colin had once deceived her into believing he loved her. All he had loved was her money! Her head started to thump and she searched in her bag for some aspirins. When Jake saw her produce them he summoned the stewardess and asked for some Perrier water, handing it to her. "I could have asked for that myself if I wanted it," she snapped childishly. His mouth thinned. "As I am sitting nearer the aisle I simply thought I'd save you the trouble. You know what the problem is with women like you, Kelly--women who want to boss the whole world--they daren't let themselves be women; so they spend all their time fighting to overcome their sexuality, fighting to make themselves asexual. Have you ever looked at yourself--properly, I mean? " he demanded thin-lipped. "Those clothes, the way you wear your hair ... everything laced up tight and repressed... " "What are you trying to say?" Kelly whispered back furiously. "I'm a business-woman and my clothes and hair reflect my lifestyle. " "Exactly, you're a cool hard lady, Kelly, and you like letting the world know it. But don't expect me to toe the line. " "You're paid to toe it--remember!" She watched the grey eyes darken to flint. "Of course," he agreed sardonically. "That's how you prefer your men, isn't it, Kelly? Bought and paid for--obedience guaranteed. It makes you feel good, doesn't it, reminding me of your wealth. Be careful, Kelly," he warned her. "The road you've taken leads only to loneliness." "Perhaps that's what I want," she retorted in a clipped voice, but inside she felt like crying; crying like a lost and frightened child, only there wasn't much points was there? She had learned a long time ago that when she cried there was no one there to dry her tears, and the only person she could rely on was herself. She must have slept--the effect of the headache pills, because the next thing she knew was that Jake was shaking her gently, telling her that they were coming in to land. She opened her eyes, flushing selfconsciouslyas she realised that she was in his arms. He smiled sardonically. "Don't worry about it," he told her. "Even Homer nods, so they tell me. Personally I'd hate to be you, Kelly, terrified of giving in to even the slightest human instinct... but then each to his own." Was that how she struck others? Kelly wondered as they left the plane. She knew that she had a formidable reputation at work, but then she was head of the agency and she had worked hard to build it up. She had to keep on top of things, otherwise she would lose everything she had worked for. But what was 'everything'? It didn't take too much of an effort to remember back to the days when all she wanted from life was a home and family, love . she pushed the thought away. Love! She ought to have learned by now that the love she had once dreamed of simply didn't exist. She only had to look at her friends. How many of them were really happily married? But at least they had had the courage to try; to commit themselves to another human being, whereas she. They hadn't experienced what she had, she reminded herself bitterly, they hadn't. "Kelly?" She realised with a start that Sue was watching her anxiously. "Are you all right?" her friend asked. "You look so pale." "A headache," she responded briefly. "There was a crisis at the office before I left." "Good old Kelly," Jeremy jeered. "Always reminding us what a big business-woman she is! You've got a winner there, Jake. If I were you I'd give up work and let Kelly keep you." "You might just have an idea there," Jake responded lazily. "There's something very sexy about successful women." "Ignore Jeremy," Sue whispered as they waited for the men to collect the luggage. "I don't know what's got into him lately." Kelly did. He was trying to needle her, trying to humiliate her in front of Jake. Little did he know! Two hire cars were waiting for them at the airport. They had decided on two at Jake's suggestion so that they could go their separate ways if they wished, and now that Jeremy had elected to join the party, Kelly was glad. Things were bad enough without the added strain of keeping up the fiction of devoted 'lovers' in front of Jeremy. Sue knew where the villa was, having stayed there before, so they left first, with Jake and Kelly following. The sun was blindingly brilliant and Kelly blinked painfully as she searched in her bag for her glasses. Unlike her, Jake seemed completely unaffected by the heat. Sue had told them that it was a four-hour drive to the villa and, since the small car did not have air-conditioning, Kelly wished she had had the forethought to bring a change of clothes with her for travelling--she could easily have changed on the plane and her silk blouse was sticking uncomfortably to her skin, her thick skirt oppressively hot. Jake, on the other hand, looked perfectly comfortable and relaxed in his jeans and shirt, and Kelly envied him. They were driving through a small village when he braked suddenly, stopping outside a small general store. At first Kelly thought there was something wrong with the car, but anxiety turned to irritation when he calmly climbed out and sauntered across the road to the shop. It was the kind that seemed to sell everything, judging by the articles hanging up outside. Jake disappeared into the dim interior, returning five minutes later with a parcel which he tossed across to her as he climbed in and restarted the engine. "A present for you," he said casually. "What is it?" Kelly asked suspiciously. "Open it and see." Inside the bag was a pretty pink crinkle cotton dress; a tiered affair with shoestring straps and a scalloped hem. "I'll stop the car when we reach a quiet bit of road and you can put it on," Jake told her, apparently oblivious to her expression. "Put it on? I don't want to put it on," Kelly told him angrily. "I.. " She broke off as the car screeched to an abrupt halt and Jake turned to her, sparks of anger glinting in his eyes. "Look, we've got a three-and-a-half-hour drive in front of us with the hottest part of the day coming up. Any woman with the slightest bit of sense would have realised that before she set off and dressed appropriately as Sue did. Look at yourself! You're hot and you're uncomfortable.. but if you want to go on suffering, that's okay by me. I simply thought you might feel cooler in that," he picked up the cotton dress, 'than what you're wearing. " He was right, of course, Kelly knew that, and she was behaving like a cross child. She was too hot, and she should have had the sense to know that it would be much hotter here than it was at home. She bit her lip, turning away so that he wouldn't see the glitter of tears in her eyes. What on earth was the matter with her? "You're right," she agreed huskily. "I'm sorry." "It's relatively quiet here," Jake said coldly. "I'll get out and stretch my legs if you want to change. Don't worry about us getting lost. I've been to Corfu before and Sue's given me directions." So he'd visited Corfu before. Who with? Kelly wondered curiously. Another 'client' ? She wriggled out of the straight skirt, keeping an eye on his retreating back. He sat down on a rocky outcrop, the wind lifting the thick dark hair, the thin shirt stretched over the lean muscles of his back. Her fingers trembled over the buttons of her blouse. Oh, the bliss of taking it off! She frowned as she realised that the bra she was wearing would show under the strappy dress, and quickly took it off. Her skin looked pale against the warm pink cotton. Jake turned and seemed to be studying the car, and she rumbled with the straps in her nervousness, tying them in clumsy bows. Jake started to walk back and Kelly grimaced as she caught her hair in the hook of her blouse, pulling out a few pins. She glanced in the driving mirror, pulling a face when she saw how untidy she looked. Strands of hair hung down her back, her make-up was smudged and she felt sticky and grubby. "Here, these might help." Jake was opening the door, and handing her a pack of tissues. He seemed to think of everything, she thought wrathfully, dabbing at her sticky skin. The untidiness of her hair irritated her, and she pulled out the rest of the pins, rummaging in her handbag for her brush, dragging it ruthlessly through the tangled skeins of hair. She couldn't be bothered putting it up in a chignon again, but there was a rubber band in her bag and she used it to secure her hair off her face, quickly plaiting it, while Jake watched. "What's the matter?" she demanded crossly, seeing the lazy amusement in his eyes. "Surely you aren't going to tell me you haven't seen a woman brushing her hair before?" "I was just marvelling at the transformation," he told her drily , touching the long plait. "You look about sixteen with this, although.. " his eyes dropped to her body, and Kelly was suddenly conscious of the fact that her breasts were almost visible beneath the fine cotton and, worse, the effect his intent gaze was having upon her body. "Feeling better now?" he asked, switching his gaze from her breasts to her hot face. Grimly, Kelly nodded her head. "You're going to have to do better than that, you know, if you're going to convince Benson that we're still lovers." The amused glance he gave her fired the anger that had been simmering inside her for so long. "I didn't invite you to join me on this holiday," she breathed bitterly. "You blackmailed me into having you along. God alone knows why, although I think I'm beginning to guess!" "You are?" The grey gaze nan -owed on her face, watching her, making it difficult for her to breathe, hating the close confines of the car, hating the way he made her feel; the emotions his proximity forced to life inside her, emotions she did not want to feel. "Enlighten me, then--let's see if you're right. " He was still smiling, watching her with a lazy satisfaction that reminded her of a jungle cat toying with his prey, and fury boiled up inside her, the sheer pressure of her rage exploding through her normal caution. "Well, let's just say if you're hoping I'm going to be a meal ticket for life for you, you're wrong, and forcing yourself on me for this holiday isn't going to change my mind! If you... " "Stop right there! " The ice-cold words cut through her tirade, and Kelly shivered nervously in the dangerous silence that followed. "Let's get this straight. You think I'm after your money? " "Well, aren't you?" Kelly challenged dangerously. "You're obviously a man with expensive tastes." She glanced disparagingly at his expensive Rollex watch, her eyes skittering away from him as she saw the molten anger banked down under the hard grey eyes. "Lady, I feel sorry for you," he grated, forcing her to look at him. "You're really screwed up inside, aren't you? Is it because of what I am, or what you are, that you think you can buy me? Oh yes, you do think that," he went on brutally before she could object. "You must do. What is it, Kelly, can't you believe anyone would want you for your own sake? Well, I've got news for you," he told her, his voice hard with contempt. "There just isn't enough money in the world, never mind in your bank account, to make me want to marry you. I presume that is what all this is about?" He laughed harshly. "My God, I don't think I'm really sitting here listening to this!" Despite his sardonic manner, Kelly could sense the anger she had ignited within him, and it frightened her. He had no reason to feel angry, she reasoned. She had every right to think as she did . every reason. "Then why did you insist on coming on holiday with us?" she demanded. "Why?" He grimaced as though he had an unpleasant taste in his mouth. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. If I had any sense I'd turn this car right round and get on the first plane back to the UK." "Then why don't you?" Kelly challenged. "I don't want you here." "You'd rather have dear Jeremy, is that what you're trying to tell me? If it wasn't for Sue I'd say the pair of you deserve one another, but she doesn't deserve to be hurt, and for her sake. " For Sue's sake! Kelly felt as though someone had stuck a knife straight through her heart and was slowly, painfully turning it until she wanted to cry out with the agony it was causing her. What was the matter with her? What did this man matter to her? By rights she ought to despise him, but he seemed to be the one who was full of contempt for her! "What happened to make you so suspicious, Kelly?" Jake taunted as he set the car in motion again. "Oh, I know you lost a husband; but people can only make allowances for so much..." What would he say if she told him the reason she was so suspicious was Colin himself? She shuddered, wondering what was happening to her. She hadn't told anyone about Colin. Not anyone! Since the dreadful night of their wedding she hadn't allowed any man close enough to her to learn the truth, but Jake had got close to her. too close. Was that why she felt so antagonistic towards him? Did her antagonism really mask fear? Kelly wasn't a fool. If she was genuinely indifferent to Jake he simply wouldn't have the power to arouse the emotions in her that he did. She was frightened of him and she was frightened of herself, of her reactions to him. He had pushed open a door she had kept locked for too long, and her body still ached with the memory of how she had felt when he touched her. Colour rushed to her cheeks as she remembered the abandoned way she had responded to his lovemaking. It had had an almost cataclysmic effect upon her, releasing the dammed-up springs of emotion, destroying for ever the myth that she was frigid. The miles slipped by without Kelly being aware of them. She sat rigidly in her seat, conscious of Jake's tightly controlled anger; of the grim line of his mouth as they left the main road and began to drop through forested countryside, tantalising glimpses of the sea appearing here and there between the trees. Soon they were passing villas set amongst the trees, sugar almond colours, glimpsed through high walls. They drew level with an open gateway, and Jake turned into it. Sue and Jeremy were just emerging from their hire car, and Sue came hurrying towards them. "You made it, then!" "Your directions were fine," Jake assured her, giving her a warm smile as he switched off the engine. Pain ached through Kelly, tears stinging her eyes. What was the matter with her? Surely she couldn't be jealous of Sue? Jake was simply someone she was employing to keep Jeremy away, that was all, and she had never been the possessive type even with Colin? " "Kelly, you look pale," Sue commiserated. "Are you okay?" "Just a headache," Kelly mumbled. "I'll be fine." She felt limp and washed out beside Sue, who seemed to have taken on a new lease of life all of a sudden. Jake climbed out and came round to her side of the car, opening the door while Kelly was still fumbling with the catch. His fingers brushed the curve of her breast as he helped her out and she recoiled as though she had been stung. Her body actually seemed to burn where he had touched her. She saw the sardonic expression in his eyes, the hardness of his mouth, and trembled without knowing why. Jake seemed to have changed--or was it merely that she was seeing him properly for the first time? She had angered him by telling him that she thought he was interested in her money, but surely it was a perfectly natural assumption, in the circumstances? "Come on, I'll show you to your room," Sue told her. "Luckily Dad has staff who come in from the village, so everything will be ready for us. There's quite a British community round here," Sue went on. "Business-men and so forth. Dad bought the villa when he retired--you'll like it." Kelly did. It was larger than she had imagined, and as she followed Sue through a large lounge, she glimpsed the oval shape of a swimming pool through the picture windows. "There is a beach," Sue told her, following her glance, 'but the ground is rocky, and it's quite a steep walk down. Here's your room. " She opened a door, and Kelly walked inside. The room was a good size, decorated in soft muted shades of coffee and peach, with a window overlooking the cliff side and the sea, which Kelly could just glimpse through the pines. Single beds, separated by a white cane table, and a couple of matching chairs were the only furniture in the room. "Bathroom off there," Sue went on, indicating one of a pair of doors. "The other door is to the dressing room. Sorry about the single beds," she added with a grin. "Don't give it another thought." Kelly hadn't realised Jake was behind them. "Personally, I don't think there's anything cosier than sharing a single bed," he drawled, looking at Kelly. She knew she was blushing, but couldn't do anything about it. Why was it that those few words conjured up such a picture of intimacy that her whole body felt flushed with heat and excitement? She could picture all too easily how Jake might enjoy sharing a single bed; how his lean body would shape itself to that of his female companion, his arms holding her secure. "I'll leave you to unpack. Dad said he'd arrange for a cold meal to be left for us--I'll just go and check." There was silence when Sue had gone. Kelly couldn't turn round for the life of her, even though she knew Jake was there. When he closed the door, the faint click sounded like a gunshot and she whirled round in shock. "I would have thought this time you'd insist on separate rooms," Jake told her cynically, his mouth wry. "I would have done," Kelly agreed tautly, 'but I didn't want to arouse Jeremy's suspicions. " "Of course not. Although I should have thought someone like him would just suit you--he's married, so you needn't be frightened of him wanting your money, need you? So I'm to be your bodyguard, am I?" he drawled, eyebrows lifting. "Well, in that case, I'll have to make sure you get value for money, won't I? I don't want you feeling that you've been shortchanged , Kelly." "I don't know what you're so angry about," Kelly told him. "No?" His hard laugh held disbelief. "You aren't that naive, Kelly. Damn it all, you've handed me the worst insult a woman can hand a man, and you don't know "why I should be angry" " he mocked acidly. "It was a perfectly natural conclusion to draw," Kelly defended herself. "Especially when you'd..." "I'd what?" He was watching her with a look in his eyes that made her wish she'd never started the conversation. She moistened her dry lips with the tip of her tongue, her fingers curling into her palms, tension drawn through her nerves like fine wire. "When you'd ... made love to me," she finished huskily. "You..." "Made love to you?" He laughed incredulously, "Ye gods, where have you been? That wasn't " making love", Kelly! "No, it hadn't been, she knew on a savage burst of pain. It had simply been the sort of thing a man like him would do . almost as second nature. "However," he added grittily, 'since we were interrupted when we were, it seems I owe you something on account, and since I never like to be indebted to anyone. " He reached her with three lithe strides, one hand shaping the back of her head, his fingers winding in her hair, so that she couldn't move, the other stroking the exposed column of her throat as he gradually tugged her head back, his eyes watching the play of emotions over her face. A tremor of fear pulsed through her. Colin had held her like this. She swallowed nervously, her muscles tightening in dread as Jake bent his head. "No!" She sobbed the word in panic-stricken terror, watching the grey eyes darken and the firm line of his mouth harden. "No? Surely you aren't going to refuse me the chance to repay my debts, Kelly?" he asked with silky determination. "You're not being very flattering, you know." His lips captured the frantic pulse throbbing beneath her skin, and instantly her fear was gone, to be replaced by a languorous awareness of the pleasure being transmitted by the warm male mouth as it moved sensually over her throat. "Jake..." She had meant his name to be a protest, but somehow it sounded more like a plea. Jake obviously interpreted it as such. His free hand pushed aside the neckline of her loose dress, caressing the curve of her breast. Instantly, Kelly felt her nipples harden in excitement, her breathing unsteady. "Jake!" She tried to push him away, but her fingers caught in the opening of his shirt, tangling with the dark hairs on his chest. A molten fever suddenly seemed to possess her, her senses blind to everything but the warm silk of his flesh beneath her fingers. Jake's hand left her breast to find the hollow of her back, holding her against him, the sensitive tips of her breasts aroused by the intimate contact with his body. His tongue stroked over her bottom lip, her mouth parting achingly for his kiss. She was being sucked down into a giddy whirlpool of pleasure, her whole world enclosed by the heat of Jake's body and the pressure of his mouth on hers. She arched helplessly against him, mindless in her desire to communicate to him her need. When he suddenly released her the shock was so great that Kelly clung instinctively to his shoulders. "Oh no, Kelly," Jake murmured slowly, his eyes moving deliberately over her still aroused body. "I've paid my debts. You hired me as a bodyguard, not a lover, remember." Nausea churned through her, humiliation a sour taste in her mouth. He knew that she had wanted him--he had deliberately aroused her just to prove to her that he could make her want him. "I don't want you," she lied bitterly. "I could never want a man like you." "You're a liar, Kelly," Jake told her softly. "And you don't even begin to know the first thing about a man like me. One day you're going to stop living in the past with your ghosts, and you're going to admit that you're a real live woman, with real live emotions and feelings. " He was gone before she could retort; before she could tell him that she would never feel anything for him. God, how she hated him, loathed him, loathed herself for responding to him! She walked blindly into the bathroom, shivering as she ran the water, but no matter how much she scrubbed her soft skin she couldn't wash away the memory of him touching her, caressing her, bringing her to life in a way she had never been before. |
الساعة الآن 01:43 AM. |
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