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luce 10-09-10 05:32 AM

MAN-HATER By: PENNY JORDAN
 
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لان ليلاس هو منتدى الرومانسية الاول في العام العربي و لاني لطالما استفدت فهذه مشاركة بسيطة مني لعلي اوفي الدين و انشالله ساقوم برفع مكتبتي اللتي تحوي الاف الروايات الرومانسية اما كتابة او بصيغة pdf لمنتدانا الحبيب و دمتم في رعاية الذي لا تضيع عنده الودائع.



CHAPTER ONE

She must be getting old, Kelly thought tiredly as she snapped off the
office lights. Time was when she had worked well into the evening and
had still left the office with her batteries fully charged and her
brain working on overdrive, but that had been when she had first
started the agency off. Now that it was successful she was missing the
challenge of those early days.

She sighed as she pressed the button for the lift. Her offices were in
a prestigious block owned by one of the major insurance
companies-clients of hers. The publicity work she had done for them
had been so successful that she had been able to negotiate a very
reasonable rent for the premises.

One of the reasons she had had to work late was that she had spent the
morning with her accountant going over the figures for the company's
current trading year. Ian Carlisle had been full of praise and
admiration. The company looked set to turn in a record profit.

"And with the sound capital base it's had right from the start, you're
in a very good position, Kelly," he had told her.

Ian worked for the firm who handled her grandfather's affairs.

He had been the one to shock her with the astounding news of
her grandfather's wealth, shortly after his death.

To find herself an heiress at eighteen had come so totally out of the
blue that it had taken her quite some time to come to terms with it.

Kelly had never dreamed that the grandparents who had brought her up in
the modest detached house just outside London had possessed such
wealth, and with hindsight she doubted that even her grandmother had
known of her husband's predilection for the Stock Market, nor his
astounding success.
At first Kelly had been too overwhelmed by the money to cope with the
responsibility of it. It was only later--after Colin--that she had
become possessed by the need to make the money work, to prove that
women could be just as successful and astute as men.
So why was it that she felt so depressed? By rights she ought to be
celebrating the company's third birthday and its enviable success--not
planning a lonely meal in her apartment followed by an early night
after she had checked Sylvester's figures for the Harding contract.
That success often equalled loneliness was something she was only just
beginning to realise;
but that was what she wanted, wasn't it? Far better the hard-won
fruits of success than the perils of emotional commitment--of relying
on another human being. Since Colin she had not relied on anyone other
than herself--and that was the way she wanted it, she told herself
firmly.
Outside, the streets were empty of the rush hour traffic. Success
meant that one could not work a mere nine-to-five day--but it had been
worth it, Kelly assured herself, barely giving her reflection more than
the merest fleeting glance as she glimpsed her slender trench-coated
figure in the store window. Kelly's was one of the most successful
companies of its kind in the city, and Kelly herself had the reputation
of being a genius where getting good publicity for her clients was
concerned. Top-class advertising agencies vied with one another to work
alongside her, and she knew without a trace of vanity that the
company's success was solely due to her own hard work and flair.
So why, tonight of all nights, was she in this oddly introspective
mood? Why on earth was she questioning the quality of her life? The
cost of total commitment to her career? She had made the choice, no
one had forced her. After Colin she could simply have continued as she
had done before; she was a wealthy young woman with no need to work. A
form of therapy, Ian had once called it, and she wasn't sure if he
wasn't right. And it had worked. So why was she feeling so
restless?
She was twenty-six; wealthy in her own right; commercially
successful.
She was attractive, intelligent, and had a close if small circle of
friends. What on earth had she to feel restless about?
By the time she reached her apartment she had managed to throw off her
earlier mood, and she unlocked her door with a small sigh of relief.
The apartment had been carefully chosen and decorated to reflect the
image of the agency. The walls and carpet of the large living-room
merged in matching softly grey blues; two large settees covered in
off-white silk facing one another across a glass and stained-wood
coffee table that matched the decor exactly, as did the silk-covered
cushions heaped artfully on the off-white settees, in colours ranging
from soft blue-grey to a rich deep azure. Kelly had employed the same
firm of interior designers for the apartment as she had done for the
office, and the result was a classical, if somewhat cold perfection.

The apartment, as always, was impeccable. Kelly was lucky enough to
have a first-class cleaner who came every morning to restore the
apartment to its pristine splendour. Normally she enjoyed the cool
remoteness of the living room with its gracefully modern Italian
furniture, its 'touch me not' air of impeccability , but tonight, for
some reason, it repelled her, and she found herself thinking instead of
the house in Hampstead she had shared with Colin;

of the bliss that had been hers for those few short months she had
spent planning the decor--a decor far removed from the elegance of her
apartment.
What was past was past, she told herself firmly as she shrugged off her
trench coat in her bed
room, hanging it up as she had been taught to do by her grandmother,
who had been a stickler for tidiness. She remembered that Colin had
mocked her for this habit--as he had done for so many things, only at
the time she had been too blind to recognise the truth for what it was,
and had thought he was simply teasing her.
The excellence of her plain navy pinstriped skirt and white silk blouse
spoke for themselves. The silk clung treacherously to the curves of
her breasts--too generous in Kelly's opinion, and in the early days of
the company she had had to freeze off the admiring looks of more than
one client. Personally she thought her figure too voluptuous. Her
waist was too narrow for the fullness of her breasts, her legs too
long. If she had to find one word to describe her figure, that word
would be 'flamboyant', Kelly acknowledged distastefully, and she always
dressed in a style that minimised rather than maximised her curves.
Her hair was long and dark, and she normally wore it in a neat chignon.

She had always worn it long.

Her grandmother used to brush it for her every night, and once released
from its constraining pins it had the texture and sheen of rich silk.
She really ought to have it cut, she thought, slipping off her skirt
and carefully returning it to its hanger, but wearing it up helped to
add to her air of reserve, and this had been a useful weapon in
establishing the company. Men never tended to take seriously women
they were thinking of going to bed with rather than giving a business
contract to, and Kelly had found out very quickly that her distant air,
coupled with her formal clothes and severe hairstyle, helped to
preserve the image she wished to maintain.

The day had tired her more than she had thought. She had little
appetite and longed only to relax and go to bed, but first she had
those figures to check. She always changed her clothes when she came
home at night, never into the jeans and tops she had favoured in the
days before Colin, but tonight for some reason something within her
rebelled and instead of reaching for the plain dress she had been about
to put on, Kelly found herself removing from her wardrobe a richly
patterned silk kimono that one of her Japanese customers had sent her
the previous Christmas.
The azure blue background enhanced the darkness of her skin and the
sapphire depths of her eyes. Her skin was almost too pale--a result of
not having had a holiday for too long, she thought ruefully as she tied
the sash, and removed the light layer of make-up she had worn during
the day, brushing her hair methodically before returning to the living
room and curling up on the settee with the papers she had brought home
with her.

She was deeply engrossed in the figures when her doorbell pealed.
Frowning, she went across to the intercom in the hallway and asked
crisply to know the name of her visitor.
"It's me, Kelly--Jeremy Benson."

Kelly's heart sank as she heard the familiar and, to her ears, faintly
unpleasant drawl of her best friend's husband's voice. She had never
liked Jeremy in the days when he and Sue were merely engaged, and her
dislike had grown into loathing in the years that followed. Sue and
Jeremy had been married for six years, and Kelly doubted that Jeremy
had remained faithful to her friend for even one of them.
Sue and Kelly had been at school together. Sue was the closest friend
she had, but ever since Jeremy had made it plain that he was sexually
attracted to her, Kelly had found that she saw less and less of her
friend, apart from brief shopping trips together, fitted in on Sue's
infrequent visits to London, when Jeremy could not accompany them.

That Jeremy knew how she felt about him, and still persisted in his
blatant attempts to seduce her, infuriated Kelly all the more and only
reinforced her opinion of men in general, which was that as far as the
majority of them were concerned, despite Women's Lib, and the much
vaunted equality beloved of the newspapers, women were still things as
opposed to people with equal rights, and that it was simply enough for
a man to want and try to take, without having the slightest regard for
the feelings, or lack of them, of the object of his wanting.

For Sue's sake, she had not told Jeremy how much she despised him. He
was a weak and vindictive man and over the years she had seen him
gradually alienate Sue from all her old friends, so that she was
entirely dependent on him emotionally, while he was free to pursue his
flirtations and affairs. Sue never mentioned Jeremy's failings to her,
and Kelly genuinely believed that she was not aware of his real
personality. She loved him, as she was constantly telling Kelly, and
Kelly dreaded what would happen to her friend if she ever discovered
the truth. Had she not had first-hand experience of the devastating
effect such a discovery could have on a woman in love?

"Come on, Kelly, don't keep me waiting down here all night! I've got a
message for you from Sue."

It was on the dp of Kelly's tongue to tell him to simply give her the
message and go, but she knew that, if she did, Jeremy would consider
that he had scored against her. Jeremy was well aware of her aversion
to him and, far from putting him off, it only seemed to increase his
desire for her. If she refused to let him come up to the apartment he
would goad her at a later date of being afraid to be alone with him;

twisting the facts until it appeared that she was afraid to be alone
with him because she desired him! Kelly knew quite well how his mind
worked.

Her mouth twisting bitterly, she told him to come up.

His eyes widened appreciatively as she let him in, and as he bent
forward to kiss her cheek, Kelly kept her body rigidly away from him.

He merely looked amused.

"Still the same old frigid Kelly," he mocked.

"What's the matter?

Afraid of what might happen between us if you really let go? No need
to be, old girl. "

His manner, as always, set Kelly's teeth on edge and she could feel her
temper simmering just below boiling point as she poured him a drink and
handed it to him before sitting down opposite him.

"Fantastic place you've got here," Jeremy said appreciatively, glancing
round the room.

"Sue hasn't the faintest idea about decor," he added disparagingly,
'but then, of course, I suppose everything's possible if one has the
money. "

Two thrusts with one blow, Kelly thought acidly. First the criticism
of her friend, and then the reminder that she had the wealth to buy
good taste.

"You said you had a message for me from Sue," she reminded him
frostily.

"Welcoming, aren't you?" Jeremy complained, adopting a hurt little boy

air that irritated Kelly beyond bearing, although she knew it worked
well with poor Sue.

"We haven't seen you in months and now you can't wait to get rid of
me."

"I've got some work to do." She indicated the pile of papers beside
her.

"What are you doing in town anyway?"

Jeremy was an accountant with his own practice in the New Forest, where
they lived, and it was a constant bone of *******ion with him that
Kelly wouldn't transfer her business to his practice.

"A business meeting," he told her.

"And Sue suggested I call and see you. She wants to show off the new
house and suggested you might like to come down for the weekend. She's
feeling a bit low at the moment, with the baby and everything."

Was it Sue who wanted to show off the new house they had just bought,
or Jeremy? Kelly wondered acidly, but the last part of Jeremy's
sentence reminded her that her friend had just lost a much wanted baby,
and it smote her conscience that apart from a telephone call she had

not spoken much to Sue since the tragic event.

"What's the matter?" Jeremy asked, watching her craftily.

"Don't you fancy the idea? Or is it that you fancy it too much?
There's something about you, Kelly. It really turns me on; the
highpoweredwoman image. Poor Sue can't really hold a candle, to you.
She's developing into a boring little hausfrau, I'm afraid, and all
this fuss about the baby hasn't helped.
"
God, he really was callous and unfeeling! Kelly fumed, longing to tell
him that in her opinion Sue was worth ten of him--at least. Part of


her longed to refuse the invitation to refute his smug comments but
she valued her friendship with Sue and was suddenly conscious of the
fact that her friend probably needed her company badly right now. If
she refused there was no telling how Jeremy might react. He was vain
enough to poison Sue's mind against her in the same way he had done
with Sue's other friends, and she could not retaliate by telling Sue
the truth--especially not now when she was bound to be feeling
particularly insecure.

"I'll come," she announced briefly, 'but you really must leave now,
Jeremy. I have to finish these figures tonight.
"
She got up as she spoke, expecting him to follow her, but instead he

reached up, caressing her hip, his gaze blatantly sexual as he stared
at her body. A shudder of revulsion coursed through her, as Kelly
pushed him away, her face taut with anger.

"All right, I get the message, but there'll be other times, Kelly,"
Jeremy warned her.

"No woman, even a woman like you, can live the life of a nun for ever.
See you at the weekend," he added mockingly as she opened the door for
him.

When he had gone reaction caught up with her and Kelly sank down on to
the settee, her face a tortured mask of hatred and pain. God, the
arrogance of the male sex! She loathed Jeremy's touch, and yet he
assumed he had the God-given right to touch her, just because he wanted
to!

Men! She despised them all! Frigid, Jeremy called her. Well, he was
probably right. Colin had said much the same.

Colin! She closed her eyes, unable to stop the shudders trembling
through her. Dear God, would she never be able to forget?

She had met him just after her grandfather's death. He had worked in
the same office as Ian, as a trainee accountant. They had met when Ian

told her about her unexpected inheritance. At first she had been so
overcome by the unexpected news that she hadn't even been able to think
properly, and it was Colin who came running after her in the street
with the umbrella she had left behind.

That had been the beginning; a fairly innocuous start to the events
which had had such a cataclysmic effect upon her whole life.

It had been several days later when she received a telephone call from
Colin at her office, asking her to go out with him. She had been drawn
to him at first sight and had willingly accepted.

They went out for a meal and then on to a film. Colin had driven her
back to her grandparents' house, where she still lived, in the old
banger he had recently bought. He had kissed her goodnight, gently but
determinedly, and her heart had sung with joy.

-Six weeks later they were engaged. On Colin's advice she sold the
house. He wanted them to have a completely fresh start, he had told
her, but she had been startled when he took her to see the large house
in Hampstead he thought they should buy. When Kelly protested that it
was very expensive, he had reminded her that she was a very wealthy
young woman and that anyway the house was an investment for the future,
adding that when he had his own practice it would be useful for
entertaining Clients. Kelly had agreed, although Ian demurred a little
when she told him of her plans, warning her that she would have to sell

some of her investments to raise the capital.

Several hectic weeks followed. The house was huge and needed certain
structural alterations;

Colin was away on a course, and their meetings were only infrequent,
restricted to discussions on progress with the house, and briefly
snatched kisses.

Kelly had an aunt who lived in the north of England, in the Borders.

She was Kelly's father's aunt really, and quite elderly, and Kelly had
promised to visit her. She talked it over with Colin and it was
arranged that she would go up for a few days before the wedding so that
she could relax.

"You've been working so hard on the house, sweet," Colin had told her,
'that you deserve a rest. I'll be away in Birmingham at our other
office, anyway. Oh, before you leave," he had added, " I've got one or
two papers for you to sign--nothing very important. "

She had signed them between kisses, wondering what it would be like to
be really Colin's wife. Her grandmother had brought her up strictly
and, a little to her surprise, Colin had made no attempt to press upon
her any of the intimacies she had expected. Was he aware of how

nervous she felt? she wondered as she travelled north.

Four days later she was back. She had enjoyed her stay with her aunt
who, although well into her eighties, was hale and hearty. They had
talked about Kelly's grandparents, and Kelly's father, who had been in
the army and had been killed in Northern Ireland by a car bomb.

Kelly's mother had been with him, and their orphaned daughter had been
brought up by her grandparents. She had been four when her parents
were killed and barely remembered them.

The wedding was to be a quiet one--a register office affair, although
Kelly would have preferred to be married in church.

They weren't having a honeymoon--Colin had promised to take her away
later when he had passed his final exams.

They returned to the house in Hampstead after a brief reception at a
large London hotel.

Ian had been there and had kissed her cheek gravely as he told her how
lovely she looked.

They returned to the Hampstead house early in the evening. Dusk was
just falling, and the drawing room looked pleasant and warm as Kelly
snapped on the lamps. All at once she felt awkward and uncertain.
Colin had gone upstairs, and she wondered whether she ought to go up
too, or whether to wait to change out of her wedding suit until he came
down. If only she had more experience! She dismissed the disloyal
thought that Colin's manner was not very lover-like. Perhaps he felt
as uncertain as she did herself, and she wished that their courtship
had not been so brief and hurried.

"Bathroom's free if you want to get changed."

She wheeled round, blushing a little as Colin walked in. He had
changed into jeans and a sweater, and a tingle of excitement fired her
blood as she looked at him.

"Colin..."

She paused uncertainly, willing him to take her in his arms and kiss
her, to melt her doubts and fears with the warmth of his love, but
instead he merely indicated the drinks tray on the table and asked if
she wanted him to pour her one.

Shaking her head, Kelly went upstairs, telling herself that her
let-down feeling was only nerves. Of course it was foolish to expect
Colin to sweep her into his arms and make mad passionate love to her;

modern people simply didn't behave like that.

She had just walked out of the bathroom when she heard the low hum of
voices from downstairs. With no intention of eavesdropping she
hesitated, wondering who on earth could have called on them tonight of
all nights, when the drawing- room door was suddenly thrown open and
she heard Colin saying angrily, "Pat, I told you never to come here!"

"You also told me you loved me," Kelly heard a feminine voice reply.

"You told me you loved me, and that this house was going to be
ours-that you would have your own practice and..."

Frozen with horror and disbelief, Kelly crept to the edge of the
stairs. Colin and his companion were completely oblivious to her
presence.

"And so we will, darling," she heard Colin murmur softly.

"Everything will work out all right."

"But you didn't have to marry her, did you?" Kelly heard "Pat'
demanding angrily, " God, Colin, how could you? "

"Simple," she heard Colin saying with new cynicism, "I just closed my
eyes and thought of all that lovely money. Oh, come on, Pat," he
added, 'you don't think I actually want her? God, she's the most
boring female I've ever known, a little brown mouse and frigid with it.
She can't hold a candle to you, my sweet. The only way I can endure
this marriage is by telling myself that it's for us, that. "

"But she's your wife!"

"Only for six months at the most. I've already got her to sign the
documents deeding the house to me. Once I've persuaded her to give me
the money to set up my practice I'll tell her the marriage is over."

Kelly felt sick with shock and disbelief. It couldn't be true. But it
was true! She only had to look over the banister to see her Colin, her
husband, with another woman in his arms, kissing her with a hunger he
had never shown her, to know how true it was.

Nausea welled up inside her and she rushed back into the bathroom. The
pair downstairs were oblivious to everything but one another and never
even heard her.

Did Colin actually intend to make love to her? Kelly wondered sickly
when the bitter spasms were over. And Pat, how did she feel about
sharing her lover with another woman? How could she herself permit
Colin to touch her knowing what she now did?
"Kelly? Darling, what are you doing up here?"

Kelly stared at Colin, wondering why she expected him to have
changed.

He was still exactly as he had been before she discovered the truth;

she was the one who had changed. She was no longer the foolish naive
child she had been then. Bitter fury welled up inside her.

"What do you want, Colin?" she challenged.

"My signature to some more papers, is that it?"

She saw the colour drain out of his face.

"Darling..." he blustered, "I don't know..."

"I heard everything," Kelly cut in coolly, marvelling at her own
control.

"Everything, and if you think I'd allow you to so much as touch me
now

"Why, you sanctimonious little prude!" Colin snarled, slamming the
door and walked towards her.

"Do you honestly believe I wanted to touch you? No way," he told her
cruelly.

"You've got nothing that appeals to me, Kelly. You can't hold a candle
to Pat, you're frigid, or damn near, and..."

"I do have one thing you want--apparently..." Kelly interrupted
acidly, hoping he wouldn't guess at the pain that tore at her
insides.

"My money--well, you won't get a penny of it, Colin. First thing
tomorrow I'm having our marriage annulled!"

"Annulled?" He advanced to the bed, the cruelty in his eyes
frightening her into rigid tension.

"No way," he told her softly.

"
I
might not want you, Kelly, but I sure as hell want that money, and
there's no way you're going to cheat me of it now. So you think you'll
get an annulment, do you? " He laughed softly in his throat and terror
stalked her as he stared down at her, slowly removing his sweater and
then his jeans.

She wanted to run, but fear held her rooted to the spot, cowering on
the bed, wishing she had the courage to get up and flee. The silk wrap
she had put on after her bath was ripped from neck to hem in the
degrading scene that followed, pain and fear locking Kelly's throat
against the screams of terror building up there. Colin's hands bruised
her body, just as his callous words had bruised her heart.

"Frigid bitch!" he swore at her, when her body clenched protestingly
against him, hurt and frightened beyond any possible arousal, and he
flung himself off the bed to stare furiously down at her.

"You're not a woman, you're an iceberg," he taunted her as he pulled on
his jeans.

"No one could make love to you--they'd freeze first!"

He was gone before she could speak, leaving her dry-eyed, her heart
pounding with fear, her body aching with tension and the bruises and
scratches Colin had inflicted upon it.
Frigid, frigid, frigid--the word danced jerkily through her mind as she
lay there, unable to move, unable to cry, unable to properly
comprehend. She heard the door slam as Colin left the house-going
where--to Pat, who wasn't an iceberg, who wouldn't make him freeze?

And then what? Would he come back and carry out his threat? Could she
endure it if he did? Rape was an ugly word for an ugly deed, but that
was what it would be if Colin consummated their marriage.

She was still lying there in the darkness when she heard the
doorbell.

She let it peal, until she realised that it wasn't going to stop. It
had to be Colin, and she dressed slowly, hoping he would go away, but
he didn't.

She unlocked the door, noticing that a false dawn was pear ling the
sky. She must have been lying there half-conscious for several hours,
but it had seemed like only minutes since he left.

"Mrs. Langtoh?" She peered up at the policeman standing on the
doorstep.

"May I come in for a second?"






Somehow he had done and he was inside and asking where the kitchen was,
saying something about a nice cup of tea. Kelly's numbed mind couldn't
follow what he was saying, only that he was using a soothing tone, the
sort one used on frightened animals--or children. Slowly, what he was
saying sank it.

"Now, come and sit down," he said gently, his own manner awkward and
compassionate.

"He wouldn't have felt a thing," he told her.

"Killed straight off. " He didn't add that his sergeant had said--and
so he deserved to be, driving like 'a maniac on the wrong side of the
road, with too much drink inside him.

Colin was dead! Why didn't she feel something? Anything? She
couldn't.

All she felt was numb. She watched the young policeman with a curious
sense of detachment. He seemed more concerned than her. He drunk the
tea he had made quickly and asked her if she had any family.

She shook her head and heard herself saying clearly, "It's all right, I
shall be perfectly all right. Please don't worry..."






"Rum do," the constable told the sergeant at the station later.

"Didn't so much as turn a hair."

"Takes all sorts," the sergeant commented, 'and news like that takes
' emall in different ways. Don't worry about it too much, lad," he
comforted the younger man--it was only his second 'fatal' and it was
always hard to have to be the one to break the news.

Alone in the huge Victorian house, Kelly's own emotion was one of
thankfulness. Of relief. Her love for Colin had gone, destroyed by
the discovery that he had simply been using her. Her body ached from
his cruelty, and her mind felt blunted and bruised. All she wanted to
do was sleep. But there was one thing she must never do, and that was
that she must never again be foolish enough to allow any man to deceive
her as Colin had done. She must remember always that she was rich,
that she was undesirable apart from her money and that she must always,
always be on her guard. Always. "Always..." With a start, Kelly
realised that she had said the word aloud. Grimacing, she shrugged.
She had come a long way from the girl she had been at eighteen. She
was, after all, eight years older, eight years wiser. She glanced down
at her hand where Colin's rings still glittered.

She wore them as a reminder; just as she used her married name. Since
Colin's death she had learned that she was attractive to men, but she
had never stopped wondering cynically why, and she thought she knew the
answer. Those who were married simply wanted a few brief hours of
escapism and thought they could use her body to achieve it, and those
who weren't wanted to secure their future through her wealth and
weren't averse to making love to her if by doing so they could achieve
that object. She despised them all with equal fervour.

"A man-hater," one of them had once called her, but didn't she have
good reason to be? And hadn't Jeremy just confirmed that she was
right
?

luce 10-09-10 05:37 AM

CHAPTER TWO

she worried about the weekend when she should have been thinking

about
her work. There had been something in Jeremy's manner which

suggested
that he might be contemplating forcing the issue. A visit to her
bedroom uninvited, perhaps? It had happened before--albeit not with
Jeremy. And if she refused the invitation, how would Sue feel? Sue
who had lost her longed-for baby before it was even born?

Kelly fretted over me problem for most of the day and left the

office
feeling jaded and tense.

She was half-way down a tube escalator when the advertisement

caught
her eye: "Need a companion? An escort?" it asked.

"Phone us--we can provide either, male or female--to accompany you

to
that special function which you simply can't attend alone."

Was it genuine, or was she being naive? What was the matter with
her?

she asked herself as she hurried on to the tube. Surely she wasn't
considering hiring an escort? But why not? It would be one way of
keeping Jeremy at bay; and without the complications taking any

other
escort with her might involve. She had many male acquaintances, but
there wasn't one of them who wouldn't leap immediately to the wrong
conclusion if she suggested they spend the weekend with her.

She toyed with the idea all evening, alternately dismissing and
re-assessing it. It was ridiculous, farcical, but wasn't it also

the
ideal solution? There was nothing to be lost in simply making
enquiries.

She dug out a telephone directory and searched through it. The

agency
had a surprisingly good address, a fairly new office block that

Kelly
knew quite well. She had contemplated taking a suite in it herself
until she had received the offer from the insurance company for her
present offices. Chewing her lip, she contemplated her

alternatives.

She could either go alone to Sue's and risk being proved right

about
Jeremy's attentions, or she could try and avert any unpleasantness

by
making enquiries at the agency and, if everything went well,

employing
one of their staff to accompany her.

Simple! So why should she be so wary and full of doubt? Was it
because the idea of actually paying someone to accompany her

smacked of
a lack of femininity and--even worse--an admission that she could

only
attract male attention by paying for it? What did it matter? No one
other than herself and the agency need know. Her motives were quite
legitimate, and surely it was worth sinking her pride if it meant
saving Sue pain and herself possible embarrassment. She had nothing

to
lose by simply calling at the agency and enquiring, had she?

As luck would have it, she had an appointment that took her in the
vicinity of the agency's offices. She emerged on to the pavement

from
the impressively externally-mirrored building that housed the

latest
addition to their client list, sufficiently buoyed up with the

success
of obtaining a new and prestigious client to pluck up the courage

to
cross the busy street and walk purposefully into the marble foyer

of
the building opposite. There was no commissionnaire in evidence,

but a
quick glance at the nameplates by the lift confirmed that the

agency
was on the third floor. Peeling considerably more nervous than she

had
done at her previous interview, Kelly waited for the lift,

smoothing
the skirt of her new Jaeger suit anxiously. The suit wasn't

something
she would normally have chosen. Maisie, her assistant, had

persuaded
her into it for the meeting this morning. In a rich amethyst

velvet,
the skirt fell in soft gathers from a neat waistband. The jacket

was
faintly mediaeval, with a cropped close-fitting collarless bodice

and
slim slightly puffed sleeves, quilted with gold thread.

She was wearing a new blouse with it, cream silk with a large

collar
worn outside the jacket, and an amethyst velvet ribbon ded in a bow

at
her throat.

Somehow the outfit made her look faintly vulnerable rather than
efficient; it even seemed to rob her chignon of something of its

normal
formality. Wisps of hair had escaped to curl round her temples, and
Kelly toyed nervously with her pearl earrings as she sent the lift

to
the third floor.

She saw the entrance to the agency the moment she stepped out of

the
lift. The door to the foyer was open and there was a man with his

back
to her bending over a desk.

He straightened up as she knocked and walked in, turning to study

her
with lazy appreciation. Much to her chagrin, Kelly felt herself
flushing with anger as his glance slid potently over the length of

her
legs in the sheer amethyst stockings that matched her outfit,

pausing
almost thoughtfully before moving upwards, assessing the

slenderness of
her waist encased in a broad suede belt, the full curves of her

breasts
beneath the velvet jacket, coming to rest with amused comprehension

on
her taut and angrily flushed face.

"My apologies," he drawled in a voice that, Kelly told herself
unpleasantly, sounded like all the very worst television

commercials,
and was very obviously less than sincere.

"Don't apologise if you don't mean it," she snapped.

"Insulting me once was enough!"

"Oh? And how did I do that?" The husky voice hadn't changed, but
Kelly had the disconcerting feeling that somehow she had angered

him,
"By looking at me as though I were a piece of merchandise you were
considering buying. That was your first insult," Kelly told him
scathingly.

"Your second was expecting me to be deceived by your less-than-

sincere
apology."

"Oh, I wasn't apologising for looking," she was told softly.

"What I was apologising for was embarrassing you."

"Embarrassing me!" Kelly stared at him in fury. Did he actually

think
she had been embarrassed by his insulting scrutiny?

"You didn't embarrass me in the slightest," she told him coldly,

'you
merely annoyed me. How would men like it if women stared at them as
though. "

"As though they were pieces of merchandise they were considering
buying?" he quoted mockingly.

"I don't know what brings you here, Miss..."

"Mrs. Langdon," Kelly supplied for him coldly, watching his eyes
narrow as he glanced at her left hand as though seeking

confirmation of
her statement.

"I'm here for the very simple reason that I wish to avail myself

of the
services of this agency," she went on tautly. Now that she was

here,
confronting this arrogant specimen of manhood, she was beginning to
have grave doubts about her intentions.

"The agency?" He glanced at the door, frowned, tapping

thoughtfully on
the desk, while he subjected her to a provokingly intense study.

"You mean the escort agency, I take it?"

"Is there any other?" Kelly snapped, her patience worn thin by his

manner and his scrutiny. He was completely unlike the species of

male
she had grown accustomed to over the years; they, well primed as to

her
reputation and her wealth, were normally either obsequious or
respectful; sometimes flirtatious, but never, never did they regard

her with the
cool disdain of this man, whose grey eyes seemed to take her apart
muscle by muscle, assessing each and every part of her as he did

so.

His hair was dark and brushed the collar of his jacket--too long,

she
thought scornfully, but doubtless there were some woman who found

him
attractive. As far as she was concerned, he was far too chocolate-

boxy
to appeal; he looked like one of the actors one saw on television,
driving lorries and eating bars of chocolate or performing
death-defying acts on skis to deliver them. Some of her contempt
showed in the withering glance she gave him, determined not to let

his
manner overset her.

"Umm ... you're attractive enough, I suppose," he ventured calmly,

'but
I scarcely think your manner is likely to win you friends or

influence
people. If you really want a job I would suggest that. "

'/ want a job? " Kelly broke in furiously, two hectic spots of

colour
burning in her previously pale face.

"I haven't come here for a job, I've come here for an escort!"

"An escort?" If he was as stunned as he had sounded, he covered it

up

very quickly.

"I see, and just what sort of escort do you require, Mrs.

Langdon?"
he asked smoothly, sitting down in the leather chair behind the

desk,
and pulling open a drawer.

"You must understand that this is a highly reputable and

respectable
agency, we don't..."

Kelly's furious gasp reached him and he straightened up, staring

coldly
at her.

"You're a married woman," he pointed out.

"I'm a widow," Kelly contradicted him, 'and I want to see the

manager.
" She threw the last comment at him through gritted teeth.

"By all means," he agreed suavely, 'but you'll have to come back

next
week. He's on holiday at the moment. "

Next week! That would be far too late!

"Look, suppose you tell me your requirements... Do you need an

escort
for some official function?"

"Not exactly," Kelly replied hesitantly, strangely reluctant to

admit
to this infuriating man exactly what she did want.

"I see. Well, perhaps if you were to tell me exactly what you do
want..." He removed what looked like an application form from the

desk
and bent his head over it. His hair was thick and dark and

possessed a
glossy, healthy sheen, Kelly noticed absently. Why on earth had she
come here? She longed to turn tail and run out, but simply didn't
dare. His face was perfectly composed and polite, and yet Kelly had

the
suspicion that inwardly he was laughing at her. Well,

let him laugh, she thought angrily, she didn't care what he

thought.

Quickly she told him an edited version of her story.

"I see," he said slowly, when she had finished.

"You wish to hire an escort to accompany you to a friend's home

for the
weekend. Your friend is married and you feel that a threesome might

be
awkward?"

That was what Kelly had told him, and she had no intention of

saying
any more.

"And you don't have any male friends who could accompany you?"

"Sue, my friend, is inclined to match make Kelly told him quickly,

not
without some truth.

"I thought it best if I took a complete stranger-to avoid

complications
later. " I see. " His expression told her quite plainly that he did
not, but Kelly had no intention of enlightening him. However,

several
minutes later she realised that she had underestimated him when he

said
softly, " This escort wouldn't be more of a body-guard by any

chance,
would he? "

"Bodyguard?" Kelly looked at him sharply.

"Look, if you don't want my business, just say so." She was

beginning
to lose her temper.

Something about this man unleashed a powerful wave of antagonism

she
hadn't experienced in years. It must be something to do with the
sexual magnetism that almost oozed from him--part of his stock in
trade, she reminded herself scathingly,

wondering what part he played in the agency.

"Not at all," he responded smoothly, "I was merely trying to

discover
exactly what you had in mind. You must appreciate that a legitimate
agency such as ours sometimes receives enquiries it isn't equipped

to


handle."

Kelly went brick red as the meaning of his carefully chosen words

sank
in.

"All I want is a male escort for the weekend," she ground out with
loathing.

"Nothing else!"

"Well, in that case, Mrs. Langdon," he continued with a briskness

that
belied his earlier words, 'if you will simply give me the details

I'm
sure we'll be able to sort out something. "

Coolly and concisely, Kelly told him. She thought she saw him

hesitate
when she gave him her address, and wondered cynically if he was
mentally adding another nought to the bill she would be presented

with.
If so, he was in for a rude awakening.

"Will you require a car?" he said formally.

"I have my own," Kelly told him shortly.

"Can you provide someone?"

She was filled with distaste for what she was doing, but she had

come

too far to back down now, and she faced him with dogged

determination,
trying to ignore the embarrassment and anger she was experiencing.

He studied her for a moment, then said slowly, "How important is

it to
you that we do?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that it wasn't

important at
all, but somehow she found herself saying huskily instead, "Very
important."

"Yes." The grey eyes held hers intently.

"Yes, I thought it must be.

Now, what time do you want our man to be at your apartment? "

Quickly Kelly told him, only too glad to escape from the office

ten
minutes later, filling her lungs with steadily deep breaths as she
stepped outside on to the pavement, only too glad to have the

ordeal
behind her. What was the matter with her? She had faced formidable
Boards of Directors without flinching, and yet in front of that one

man
she had been reduced to a shivering, trembling wreck. Why?

For the rest of the day she found it difficult to concentrate. She

had
told Maisie that she intended to be away for the weekend.

"Take a couple of extra days off," Maisie urged.

"You could do with the break. Go out and buy yourself a new

dress."

"I don't need one," Kelly told her briefly, only somehow she found
herself leaving the office earlier than usual, and as it just

happened
to be a late shopping night, she found herself wandering through
the^Knightsbridgestores; something that she hadn't done in ages.

She saw a dress that caught her eye on one of the racks. In crepe
satin by Calvin Klein, it was a deceptively simple wrap-round dress

in
a brilliant shade of pink.

Somehow she found herself in the changing room with it over her

arm,
discarding her velvet suit in order to try it on. The neckline

plunged
almost to the waist, the long tight sleeves hugging her arms in

much
the same way as the satin hugged her body, the fabric caught up in

a
knot just above the waist. It was hideously expensive and not the

sort
of thing she wore at all, and yet somehow she found herself buying

it,
even though she told herself that she was mad and it was simply not

the
sort of thing to wear for a quiet dinner in the country.

Sue rang her while she was still recovering from the shock of her
spending spree.

"You are still coming, aren't you, Kelly?" she pleaded.

"I'm so looking forward to seeing you. I've been so miserable!"

Kelly could tell that tears weren't far away, and hastened to

assure
her friend that she would indeed be there.

"Jeremy will be glad to. I sometimes think lately that he finds my
company very boring," she heard Sue saying wistfully.

"Since the baby I've felt so down, and Jeremy always enjoyed the
company of lovely women. I feel such a failure, Kelly... Here I am

and
I can't even produce a baby, and you ... you have a fantastic

career,
the whole world at your feet..."

"Sue, you're not to think like that," Kelly told her.

"I know--pathetic, aren't I? But I just can't help it. I feel so
alone, Kelly, so frightened somehow. When do you plan to arrive?"

"Well, actually, it isn't just me," Kelly told her hesitantly.

"Is it okay if I bring a friend?"

For a moment there was silence and then Sue asked excitedly, "A

man?

Kelly darling, tell me all about him! "

Kelly laughed.

"Wait and see." Well, she could hardly describe a man she hadn't

yet
met, could she?

Her information seemed to have had a dramatic effect on Sue's

mood, she
bubbled and chattered in a way that reminded Kelly of a much

younger
Sue, and by the time she had rung off, Kelly was convinced that she

had
made the right decision, no matter what the cost to her own pride.

She
only hoped that the agency managed to produce someone presentable.

She
was a fool really, she ought to have asked to see a photograph and

some
background details, but she had been too flustered and angrily

aware of
her companion to do so.

Saturday morning came round all too quickly. The arrangement was

that
her 'escort' would present himself at her apartment on Saturday

morning
at nine o'clock. Kelly was dressed and packed by eight-thirty, her
stomach fizzing with a nervous dread she hadn't experienced since.
since Colin, really.

She inspected her reflection in the mirror once again. She was

wearing
her velvet suit, but this time her hair was caught back in a pretty
gold- threaded velvet snood she had found in Liberty's and which

added
to the mediaeval effect of her outfit. It also had a softening

effect
of the severity of her hairstyle, and Kelly was frowning slightly

over
this when she heard her doorbell.

Picking up her case and bag and checking that she had her keys,

she
headed for the hall, opening the door and coming to a full stop,

her
mouth opening in a round "Oh' of surprise as she recognised the man
leaning indolently against the wall.

"You!"

He smiled as he took her case from her slackened grip and locked

the
door for her with the keys she had dropped in her agitation.

"What are you doing here?" Kelly demanded acidly, furious with

herself
for letting him take the initiative and treat her like a demented
child.

"You wanted an " escort" for the weekend-here I am." He shrugged
casually and glanced at his watch, completely impervious to her
anger.

"Shall we go? We'll make better time if we miss the morning

traffic.

The roads are practically empty at the moment. Are these your car

keys? " He extracted them from the ring, handing her back her door

keys
with another smile, deftly pocketing the keys for her car as he
motioned her towards the lift.

This couldn't be happening, Kelly thought dazedly. She wasn't used

to
men taking control of her life in this way, especially men like

this
one- men who cashed in on their physical attractions in order to

make a
living. The sheer discrimination of her own thoughts shocked her,

but
they couldn't be denied; somehow it was different for women to

exploit
their looks in order to make a living than it was for a man.

Telling
herself she was being ridiculous, she headed for the lift, wishing

the
agency had sent anyone but this man.

She had disliked him almost at first sight that day in the

agency's
offices, and now she felt a resurgence of her dislike, hating the

calm
way he was taking over, robbing her of the control she always had

of
her own life.

When the lift stopped he stepped forward first, and Kelly seethed
impotently, longing to push past him, but lacking the sheer brute
strength, and sudden colour flooded her angry face as she realised

he
was simply ensuring that she wouldn't be caught in the lift doors.

The
expression in his eyes as she swept past him told her that he had
guessed the direction of her thoughts, and she flushed again. The
weekend had promised to be difficult enough as it was, now it
threatened to be intolerable.

"Why didn't you send someone else?" she muttered through clenched
teeth to him as they entered the underground car park.

"Or was the money too much of a temptation?" she asked nastily.

She couldn't see his face, but the fingers cupping her elbow

tensed
suddenly and his smooth, "You find man's very natural desire to

provide
himself with a living contemptible? How odd. Or is it simply the
means by which I earn mine?" silenced her. She had been betrayed by
her own emotions into making a judgment that was completely biased,

and
he had underlined that fact.

"It seems to me," he remarked pleasantly, as she headed for the
silver-grey Mercedes convertible she had bought the previous year,
'that you have a chip on your shoulder where the male sex is

concerned.
I wonder why? "

"Then don't!" Kelly snapped.

"That's not what I'm paying you for."

"You like reminding me of that fact, don't you?" he continued
evenly.

"Does it help to cancel out the old wounds, Kelly, knowing that now

you
can make the male dance to your tune?"

His words shivered across her skin, too close to the truth for

comfort,
but she refused to acknowledge their accuracy, or the danger

emanating
from the man standing at her side. How could a man like this

possibly
be dangerous? He was simply someone whom she was using to prevent
herself from being trapped in a potentially difficult situation.

But
he had used her name with an easy familiarity that had shocked her;

and
not just shocked. Hearing it on his lips had started a curious
yearning ache deep inside her that she could neither define nor
analyse.

"I was the only suitable candidate the agency had available," he

told
her coolly, as they came to a full stop by the car.

"If you wish to change your mind and cancel the contract then go
ahead."

Damn him, Kelly thought bitterly, he knew quite well she couldn't.

"Very well," he continued, taking her silence for consent.

"In that case perhaps I'd better intro duce myself properly.

I'm..."
he hesitated momentarily, "Jake Fielding."


"Jake."

Somehow she found herself taking the hand he offered, her fingers
curling instinctively at the first touch of the vibrantly male

flesh
against them.

He must have noticed her recoil, and she saw the speculation in

his
eyes as he bent to unlock the car door the passenger door, Kelly
noticed, as he swung it open and waited.

She looked up at him.

"You don't expect me to let you drive?"

"Why not? I have a current driving licence, if that's what's

worrying
you. You look tense and overtired," he added unkindly, "I thought

you
might enjoy an opportunity to relax before meeting your friends.

Obviously you aren't looking forward to the weekend. "

"How did you know that?"

He looked surprised by her vehemence and shrugged.

"It's obvious, if you didn't need to feel on the defensive in some

way

you wouldn't have felt it necessary to hire me."

There was no way Kelly could argue against such logic, and somehow

she
found herself slipping into the passenger seat while Jake put their
cases in the boot and then came round to join her.

Whatever else she could say about him, she had to admit he was
immaculately dressed, she thought, watching him discard the

Burberry he
had been wearing and toss it casually into the back of her car.

The fine beige wool trousers and toning checked shirt were exactly

what
one would expect to find a top executive type wearing in the

country,
as was the cashmere sweater he was wearing over the shirt, and

Kelly
had to repress a strange pang of pain as he started the car.

It seemed so wrong somehow that with all her success and wealth

she had
to pay someone to accompany her to Sue's. What had gone wrong with

her
life?

Nothing, she told herself stoutly as the engine fired. She had
everything she wanted; everything. Love was a chimera, she knew
that;

it didn't exist. God, she only had to look around her at her
friends!

The automatic seatbelt device proffered the belt and Kelly reached

for
it automatically, shocked by the tingling sensation of hard male
fingers brushing her own as Jake performed the small service for

her.

She looked unwillingly at his hands. Dark hairs curled

disturbingly
against the wafer-thin gold wristwatch he wore. A present from a
grateful customer? she wondered nastily, hating herself for the
thought, and hating even more the strange pain that accompanied it.

"All set?"

She nodded briefly, reminding herself that Jake was simply a means

of
protecting herself against Jeremy--nothing more.

As Jake had predicted, they were early enough to miss the morning
traffic and once they were free of London the roads were clear

enough
for Kelly to be able to appreciate the beauty of a countryside

slowly
awakening to spring. She had driven down to Sue's before, but never
along this route, which seemed to meander through small villages

and
open countryside and when she commented on this fact, Jake merely

said
that since they were driving to the New Forest the drive might just

as
well be as pleasant as possible. He praised the car and asked her

how
long she had had it, and yet there was no envy in the question;

if anything, his tone was slightly amused and, nettled, Kelly

responded

coolly that she had bought it six months previously--as a birthday
present.

She knew the moment the boastful words left her mouth that they

were a
mistake.

"You bought it for yourself?" The pity in his eyes made her long

to
cause him a corresponding pain, but caution prevailed. What did it
matter what he thought? After this weekend she would never see him
again, and yet even though she closed her eyes and feigned sleep

she
kept seeing over and over again the pity in his eyes.

"We'll soon be reaching the Forest."

The quiet words were pitched low enough to rouse her without

waking her
if she had been deeply asleep, and Kelly lifted her head, glancing
through the window, entranced to see the massed bulk of the Forest
ahead of them.

"Would you like to stop for lunch?"

"Sue is expecting us," Kelly told him curtly. She didn't like the

way
he kept insisting on taking control. She was the one in control.

Ever
since Colin she had had a dread of anything else.

His shrug seemed to indicate that it meant little to him, and

Kelly


felt rather like a sulky child being humoured by a tolerant adult.

"Tell me a little more about your friends," Jake instructed as the

new
spring greenery of the Forest closed round them.

"How long have they been married? Do they have any family? I'll

have
to know," he added when he saw her expression.

"If they're to accept me as a genuine friend of yours they'll

expect me
to know something about them."

Grudgingly admitting that he was right, Kelly explained about

Sue's
miscarriage and consequent depression.

"Umm, but that still doesn't explain why you felt the need for a

male
companion. It obviously isn't to boost your reputation with your
friend or score off against her in some feminine way." He reduced
speed, and glanced thoughtfully at her with cool grey eyes.

"Something tells me there's something you're holding back."

"I've told you all you need to know," Kelly denied, uncomfortably

aware
of the assessing quality of his gaze and the hurried thudding of

her
own heart. She couldn't admit the shameful truth; that she was

using
him as a barrier to hide behind, because for all her much vaunted

independence, there was no other way she could get it through

Jeremy's
thick skull that she was totally uninterested in him.

Sue and Jeremy had an attractive brick-built house not far from
Ringwood. The Mercedes pulled up outside it shortly after one, and

as
Kelly climbed shakily out of the car, the front door opened and a
plump, pretty blonde girl came rushing out, enveloping her in a

warm
hug.

"Kelly, love, you look fantastic!" Sue beamed up at her. Barely

five
foot two, her lack of inches was something Sue constantly bemoaned;

that and her tendency to put on weight.

"And this..." she began appreciatively, glancing from Jake to

Kelly.

"Jake," Kelly introduced hurriedly.

"I hope you don't mind..." Her voice trailed away, high colour
touching her cheekbones as Sue grinned delightedly, "Mind? Kelly,

you
know me better than that But why haven't you told me before? I know
you must be someone special," she confided to Jake, oblivious to
Kelly's agitation and embarrassment.

"Kelly would never have brought you down here otherwise. I can't
remember the last time I've ever known her spend a weekend with any

of

her... Ah, here's Jeremy," she broke off as the front door opened

again
and Jeremy emerged.

"Darling, come and say hello to Kelly and Jake," Sue smiled, and

Kelly
heard the note of uncertainty in her voice; heard it and shivered

with
apprehension when she saw the expression in Jeremy's eyes.

"Kelly." He reached for her, his eyes hard.

"I suppose I can't kiss you properly with your friend here looking

on."
He *******ed himself with a light peck, but Kelly was conscious of
Jake's interested scrutiny. He was too astute, she admit ted

uneasily,
and there was something about the way he watched her that she found
unnerving.

Perhaps he was an out-of-work actor simply studying human

reactions,
and yet there was something in the look he gave her as Jeremy

released
her and turned to shake hands with him that told her his interest

had
been specific rather than general.

"Come on inside," Sue encouraged.

"Lunch is ready a cold buffet meal, that's all, but I'll take you
upstairs to' your room first."

Their room! Kelly froze and heard Jeremy saying smoothly behind

her,
"I've finally managed to persuade Sue to join the twentieth century

and
to realise that consenting adults don't want separate rooms."

He had done it deliberately. Kelly could see it in his eyes. She
wanted to protest; she felt like a trapped animal and knew that

Jeremy
was waiting for her to retract, and then, astoundingly, Jake was
slipping an arm round her waist, drawing her back against his body.

She could feel the even beat of his heart against her back, her

body
enveloped in a protective warmth that made her eyes sting with

tears as
he lowered his head and murmured against her hair, "What

delightfully
tactful friends you have, my love! I confess I hate wandering about

in
the darkness looking for the appropriate bedroom door!"

luce 10-09-10 05:40 AM


CHAPTER THREE

Lunch was a nightmare during which Jeremy alternately humiliated

Sue
with his deliberate cruelty to her and cross-questioned Jake with a
condescension that made Kelly wince.

Jake himself seemed impervious to his host's insulting manner,

parrying
his questions with a calm ease that Kelly couldn't help admiring,
almost against her will. Her heart was in her mouth when Jeremy

asked
Jake what he did for a living, but Jake didn't hesitate for a

moment.

"This and that," he murmured with an easy smile, and from Jeremy's
scowl Kelly knew that he had gathered from Jake's careless comment

that
he was implying that he was wealthy enough not to have to work.

From then on the two men treated one another with cool hostility,

and
Kelly was glad to escape into the kitchen on the pretext of helping

Sue
with the washing up.

"That was a lovely lunch," she complimented her friend. Privately,

now
that the initial glow of excitement occasioned by the arrival had

gone,
she thought her friend looked far too pale and listless.

"Do you think so?" Sue grimaced.

"I think

Jeremy believes I should have made more of an effort, but we seem

to be
entertaining constantly at the moment. " She pulled a face.

"I feel so tired, Kelly," she complained.

"I've tried to tell him, but he just doesn't understand--about
anything."

She gave a muffled sob, causing Kelly to put aside the tea towel

and
take her in her arms. Her private opinion that Jeremy was a creep

and
that her friend would be better off without him was something she
couldn't voice, so instead she comforted her by saying slowly,

"You've
had a bad time recently. Sue, you're bound to be feeling a bit

under
the weather. You need a decent rest."

"That's what Dad says," Sue agreed shakily, 'but Jeremy says it's
impossible for us to get away at the moment. Dad has a villa in

Corfu,
he's offered to lend it to us for Easter, but Jeremy doesn't seem

very
keen. " Her face suddenly lit up.

"Kelly, I've had the most marvelous idea!"

Kelly's heart sank as she guessed the words trembling on Sue's

lips,
but it was too late to stop them, and to her consternation Jake

walked
into the kitchen, both hands full of empty plates, his eyebrows

raised
in query, as Sue burst out impulsively, "Oh, and you too, of

course,
Jake, you must both come..."

"Come where?"

"I was just telling Kelly that my father has a villa in Corfu.

He's
offered to lend it to us for Easter--I'd love to get away, but

Jeremy
isn't keen. I was just asking Kelly if she'd come with me, but it
would be fantastic if we could make up a foursome." She pulled

another

wry face at Kelly and said frankly, "In fact I think Jeremy would
prefer a foursome." Her eyes clouded as she admitted unhappily,

"He's
grown so distant recently, Kelly, I sometimes think that

perhaps..."

"The only thing you need to think about is getting well again,"

Kelly
headed her off, dreading hearing Sue put into words any doubts

about
her husband's fidelity.

"And you will come? Oh, please!" Sue begged, tears sparkling in

her
eyes.

"Both of you must come. I can still remember what it feels like to

be
so much in love that you can't bear to spend a moment apart,

believe it
or not. You must be a very special man, Jake," she teased suddenly,
blinking away the betraying tears.

"I never thought Kelly would allow herself to fall in love again

after
losing Colin so tragically, but the very fact that she's brought

you
down here proves me wrong, and I can't tell you how glad I am. He
obviously wasn't the slightest bit deceived by that cool, efficient
facade you hide behind, Kelly," she teased her friend, but tears

still
glimmered in her eyes, and Kelly felt a pang of pain for her friend
that overrode her own embarrassment. Poor Sue, losing her baby was
something she was finding it hard to come to terms with, and Jeremy
didn't help, she thought angrily. Couldn't he see how much Sue

needed

his care and reassurance, or did he simply not care?

"Kelly?"

"You haven't told Sue whether we'll be able to join her at Easter

or
not yet," Jake reminded her.

Kelly flashed him an irate glance. Of course it was impossible

that
they could. He knew that. She bit her lip, unnerved by the look she
saw in his eyes. This man was her paid companion, she reminded
herself, and he had no right to be behaving in the way that he was.

She bitterly resented his assumption of control, the smooth way in
which he had preempted her right to dominate their relationship.

"I ... I'm not sure if I can get away from the office. Sue," she

lied
desperately.

"Can I let you know?"

She hated seeing the disappointment in her friend's face, but what
could she do?

After lunch they went for a walk. The countryside around the house

was
lovely, but the walk was spoiled for Kelly by Jeremy's boorish

manner
towards his wife and his constant references to the financial

status of

the owners of the properties they passed. She stiffened at one

point
when Jake murmured softly against her hair, "You and Benson ought

to
get on like a house on fire-you both believe that everything can be
calculated in terms of money; the only difference between you is

that
you have it and he doesn't. I wonder why he didn't marry you?"

"Perhaps because he wasn't given the opportunity," Kelly snapped.

"Anyway, I was engaged myself when Sue met Jeremy."

"Ah yes, of course." They had fallen a little way behind Sue and
Jeremy, and Kelly hesitated, glancing up into the mocking face

above
her as she heard the question in the smooth, drawling voice.

"Colin!

Sue mentioned a tragedy. " He saw her wince and said coolly, "

Believe
me, I'm not prying or consumed by curiosity about your past, it's
simply that I don't want to make any mistakes. "

"Very professional!" Kelly bit her lip when she saw his

expression.
It was useless telling herself that he had no right to be annoyed;

she
could tell that he was.

"Look," he grated against her ear, grasping her arm and swinging

her

round to face him, his fingers bruising the soft flesh of her upper

arm
with their grip, "I don't know when, where or why you started

hating
the male sex, nor am I in the slightest interested in your sexual
hang-ups, okay? Now tell me about Colin."

Kelly was too angry to reply. How dared he talk to her like that!

she
filmed. She would report him to his boss; why on earth had she been
landed with him? She had wanted an 'escort' who would melt into the
background, not this totally male creature who exuded male

dominance
and insisted on taking control.

"Well? Or do I ask Jeremy?" he threatened softly.

"Something tells me he'd be only too delighted to help me delve

into
your past."

"Colin was my husband," Kelly muttered, hating him more with every
passing second. What on earth had happened to her much vaunted
hauteur? Something about this man shattered all her de fences he

was
like a steamroller, she thought bitterly, either too hard or too

dense
to see he was trespassing where he wasn't wanted, and yet she had

the
unnerving impression that he knew exactly how much she resented his
probing; his determination to lay bare wounds she desperately

wanted to
cover up.

"And?"

The gall of the man! She drew in her breath in indignation,

stunned
into silent shock as his mouth suddenly descended on hers, blotting

out
the spring sunshine. A kaleidoscope of colours whirled between her
tightly closed eyes, her entire body rejecting the male power of

him,
her mind silently shrieking its bitter resentment. Every muscle in

her
body tensed within the circle of his arms, her lips a stubbornly

tight
line of denial, as the warmth of his probed their curves. She

opened
her eyes, damning him with corrosive hatred, willing him to release

her
from the humiliation of the subjugation.

"Take it easy," he murmured the words against her mouth.

"Sue and Jeremy are watching. Unless you want them to think we're

in
the middle of a lovers' quarrel you'd better kiss me back."

"Go to hell," Kelly muttered back, wrenching herself out of his

arms
and hurrying down the path. Her whole body was bathed in a fine

film
of perspiration. She felt sick and shaken. She hadn't been held

like
that since . since Colin, her mind forced her to admit. It had been

a
shock, finding herself in his arms like that, knowing herself

incapable
of breaking free without his tacit permission, and the knowledge

had
been frightening.

"Everything okay?" Sue asked solicitously, when she caught up with


them.

"You look pale."

Jeremy glared furiously at her and said acidly, "Well, well, so

the ice
has melted at last! I don't know how you've done it, old man," he
commented to Jake when he caught them up, flinging his arm casually

but
so firmly round Kelly's shoulders that she couldn't break free.

"Done what?" Jake asked, his eyes never leaving Kelly's pale face.

"Melted the ice maiden," Jeremy said maliciously.

"We'd all begun to think she'd frozen so hard it would take a

pickaxe
to get through to her."

"Jeremy!" Sue reproached, giving Kelly an embarrassed glance.

"Oh, it's all right. Sue," Kelly retorted, forgetting Jake for a
moment in the heat of her anger.

"I'm well aware that Jeremy thinks I'm frigid just because I don't

jump
in and out of bed with every man I meet."

"See how fortunate you are," Jeremy said nastily to Jake.


"Why, I'll just bet if it hadn't been for Colin, she'd still be a
virgin; rich and innocent."

She could feel Jake looking at her and knew that her cheeks were

hot.

How dared Jeremy talk about her like that! Her hands clenched in

the
pockets of her suede jacket. She knew why he was doing it, of
course.

He was trying to get back at her for bringing Jake with her, just

as he
had done when he suggested that Sue gave them a double room. Their
room! She had forgotten about that. She worried at her bottom lip,
and then told herself that she was being stupid. Jake was hardly
likely to pounce on her simply because they were sharing a room.

Even
so. She glanced uncertainly at him, and was rewarded by a quick

hug.

"Kelly can give her money away to charity if she likes," she heard

Jake
drawl convincingly.

"As my wife, she'll be supported by me, and not the other way
around."

"Lucky Kelly," Jeremy retorted.

"Well, if you're looking for a charity, darling, do look in our

direction first. I wish I'd had the good sense to find myself a

rich
wife." The look he gave Sue made Kelly long to demolish him with a

few
well-chosen phrases, but she had her friend to think of and so

merely
gave him an ice-cold glare.

Jake was an excellent actor, she had to give him that. That bit

about
supporting his wife had been truly inspired, and totally

convincing.

She watched him covertly. He looked convincing. He looked the type

of
man on whom a woman could depend totally and completely. What on

earth
was she thinking? He was probably an out-of-work actor, used to
playing all manner of parts. She was paying him to appear
convincing!

When they returned to the house, Kelly went upstairs to unpack.

She
had been hoping that Jake would accompany her, so that they could
discuss the best way to save them both embarrassment in view of the
fact that they would be sharing the room, but instead he remained
downstairs talking to Sue, merely interrupting his conversation to
smile warmly at her and say casually, "Unpack for me too, will you,
darling. Although, thank God, I won't be needing the pyjamas I

packed
after all."

Sue grinned appreciatively.

"You're blushing, Kelly," she teased.

"Now I really have seen everything!"

It didn't take Kelly long to unpack. She hadn't brought much with

her,
just the new dress she had bought to change into for dinner, plus a
skirt and jumper to wear tomorrow, her underwear and a silk

nightgown
she had bought on impulse several months before. She eyed it
doubtfully as she lifted the soft blue fabric from her case. There

was
nothing particularly indecent about it, but it was more frilly and
feminine than the nightshirts she normally favoured, and now she

wished
she hadn't packed it.

When she went downstairs, she could hear Sue and Jake still

talking.

"I'm so glad she's found someone like you," she heard Sue saying,

as
she paused outside the door.

"She's had a hard time since Colin died.

I'd begun to think she was too frightened to let herself care for
anyone else. Of course, you'll know better than anyone else that
behind that cool faade she's. "

Kelly pushed open the door, unable to bear listening to her friend
saying any more. She couldn't look at Jake.

"Kelly ... come and sit down next to Jake and I'll make us all a

cup of
tea. Jeremy's had to go out, but he won't be long. I've invited
another couple to join us for dinner. One of Jeremy's clients.

You'll
like them..."

Kelly couldn't bear the tense silence that followed Sue's

departure.

"I suppose you enjoyed hearing all that," she began fiercely.

"Not enjoyed, precisely," Jake responded.

"It was certainly enlightening." His arm was stretched across the

back
of the settee, and he started to wind a loose frond of hair from

her
chignon round his finger.

"Don't do that!" Kelly hissed, jerking away and then gasping with

pain
as he refused to let her go.

"Don't touch me!"

"We're supposed to be lovers, remember," he drawled laconically.

"Sue expects to come back and find us in each other's arms. Think
back,"

he taunted.

"Try remembering what it was like with Colin."

Kelly couldn't stop herself. She went white, shaking with nausea

as
she did remember. Colin, wrenching her head round, pulling her

hair,
slapping her face. She wanted to be sick; to scream and cry as she
hadn't done then; she was aware of the room starting to recede, of
Jake's muttered imprecation, and then she was in his arms,

struggling
against their confines, hating the frighteningly male contact of

his
body--and yet in some strange way some part of her longed to simply
acquiesce, to give in and rest her head against his shoulder, to

draw
comfort from the sheer solid maleness of him.

"Kelly!"

She was aware of the anxiety in Sue's voice as Jake responded for
her.

"She isn't feeling too well, but it's nothing to worry about."

"Darling, you must go upstairs and rest, can I get you anything?"

"I just felt faint," Kelly assured her.

"Nothing much--I came out without breakfast and felt slightly

carsick,
but I'm all right now."

"I think Sue's right, you ought to go upstairs and rest," Jake cut

in
firmly.

"I'd come with you," he added with a wicked twinkle, 'but somehow

I
don't think' you get much sleep if I did. "

Sue grinned, enjoying her friend's embarrassment, but Kelly was

glad to
escape from the room;

from Jake's too disturbing presence. Something about him

frightened
her; and yet what possible reason could she have for feeling so
threatened?

In spite of her resolution she did fall asleep. Maisiewas right,

she
thought drowsily, lying on the large double bed, she did need a

rest.

The thought of Corfu at Easter was tempting, but only if she and

Sue
could go alone. She couldn't bear the thought of fending Jeremy off
for an entire week.

The door opening woke her. She glanced up sleepily, her heart

pounding
with fear, as she saw Jeremy standing there, watching her

knowingly.

"Nights too exhausting for you nowadays, are they?" he taunted.

"So the iceberg's finally thawed! You should have told me, Kelly,

I'd
have been only too happy to oblige. Who is this guy anyway? I've
never heard you mention him before. If you'd wanted a lover you

only
had to tell me." He was coming closer to the bed. Kelly knew she
ought to get up, but her muscles were locked in remembered terror

and
dread, her eyes wild and haunted as she stared up at him.

"You're a very desirable woman, Kelly, in spite of that cold front

that
comes on so strong," Jeremy continued. His eyes were on her breasts
and Kelly felt her heart pound with terror as he reached out

towards
her.

"She's also my, woman," Jake's voice interrupted coldly from the

open
door.

Jeremy whirled round, glowering furiously.

"What the..."

"Sue's looking for you," she heard Jake say contemptuously, 'so

unless
you particularly want to cause an unpleasant scene I suggest you
leave--now. "

Kelly couldn't move; not even when the door had closed behind him.

"So that's what it's all about," Jake commented quietly.

"Pity," he added, his mouth thinning, "I was just beginning to be
intrigued by you, wondering what lay behind the mask, but it's all

a
ploy, isn't it, Kelly; a fayade behind which you can conceal your
affair with your friend's husband? Have you no compunction about

what
you're doing?" he demanded angrily.

"Don't you think Sue's had a raw enough deal as it is? Can't you

see
what Benson is? Or don't you care?"

"You've got it all wrong," Kelly choked, struggling to sit up.

"You think so?" One dark eyebrow rose cynically.

"It seems pretty obvious to me that the reason you needed an "

escort"
for this weekend was not so much to make up a foursome as to

deceive
your friend as to your real relationship with her husband."

"No!"

"No? Then what?" he taunted.

"It was because of Jeremy, because I knew he.. he wanted me," she

shuddered, 'that I wanted an escort. I couldn't disappoint Sue, as

you
say, she's been through too much, but I knew if I came here alone
Jeremy would. "

"Try to make love to you?" Jake supplied, watching her with an
intensity that was unnerving.

"And that was why you came to the agency?"

"Yes."

"Umm."

"You don't believe me?" Kelly was astounded to hear herself asking

the
question. What did it matter to her whether he believed her or not?

"Oh, on the contrary, I believe you completely," he averred, 'but

what
does puzzle me is why a cool, controlled lady like you should act

like
a terrified innocent every time a man comes near her. You were
petrified just then," he reminded her, 'and I only have to come

within
a yard of you and you shrink away from me."

"You're exaggerating," Kelly lied nervously, sliding off the bed.

There was a look in his eyes she didn't like. It was distinctly
speculative, and more . much more, she acknowledged, shivering

with a
sensual awareness of all that the look he was giving her implied.

"Let's just put that to the test, shall we?" Jake murmured

dulcetly.

"I don't know what sort of game you think you're playing," Kelly
gasped, 'but may I remind you that you happen to be in my employ,

and
that I could report you to the agency for this! "

"Go ahead," he invited, mocking her.

"It might just be worth it."

Before she could stop him he had reached her, ignoring her

stiffening
muscles as his arms went round her, one hand tracing the rigid line

of
her spine, while the other deftly removed the snood constraining

her
hair, his fingers sliding through the silken weight he had

released.

"Stop this!" Kelly ordered.

"Stop it right now!"

She saw him frown, his eyes darkening suddenly as he exclaimed,

"You're
frightened! I wonder why..."

"I'm not frightened," Kelly denied, "I'm just furiously angry. Who

do
you think you are? Just because you're a man you think you can

assume
whatever physical rights you choose to take-well, not with me,

I..."

Her eyes blazed their defiance up at him, her fists beating an

angry
tattoo against the impervious wall of his chest.

"I've just saved you from a fate worse than death, remember?" he
taunted.

"Don't I get a reward?"

"What do you want?" Kelly demanded nastily, 'a bonus? "

"Why, you..."

It was too late to tell herself that she had gone too far, much

too
late to evade the bruising pressure of his mouth on hers, stifling

her
protests, cutting off her breath, as he ground her lips back

against
her teeth, making her feel faint with fear and pain, only her eyes
mirroring her shock and bitter resentment.

"Kelly!" Her bruised mouth was released, and she winced with pain

when
his thumb brushed softly against its swollen fullness.

"God, I..."

"You wanted to hurt me," she stormed at him.

"Well, you did.

Satisfied? Is your male ego flattered by the knowledge that you

can
hurt me physically? You men, you're all the same! " she raged half
hysterically.

"You..."

"No!" The harsh denial cut through her furious ravings.

"No, Kelly, we're not all the same. I'm sorry I hurt you." He bent
his head and she flinched, watching his eyes narrow and harden in

some
purpose she couldn't guess at.

"You made me angry and I got angry back, but it wasn't a

deliberate
attempt to hurt you. Hasn't anyone ever told you that any man is

bound
to act like that when a woman freezes in his arms? Didn't Colin

ever
tell you that?"

She went milk-white, her eyes dark with pain, her fingers curling
against his shoulder.

"Kelly?"

"I..."

She gasped as his mouth brushed the parted softness of hers, but

it was
too late to reject him. Her de fences were already far too weak and

it
seemed far easier simply to lie passively against him, and give in

to
the gentle motion of his mouth against hers; teasing, and

tantalising
with a touch as gentle as butterfly wings, the moist warmth of his
mouth stroking over the outline of her lips, encouraging them to

soften
and part to cling helplessly to the hard warmth of his;

her mind reeling, spinning with the impact of what was happening

to
her.

"Kelly, are you all right?"

She was dimly aware of Sue's voice outside the door, of Jake

releasing
her slowly, his eyes holding hers, daring her to deny that she

hadn't
responded to him; that she hadn't--she shivered with the
knowledge--actually for one brief second physically wanted him.

"Kelly!"

She made a superhuman effort to regain control of her senses.

"We're coming. Sue," she called back to her friend.

"I'm fine now."

"Kelly..."

Jake was watching her, and she sensed that there was something

that he
wanted to say to her. Could he have guessed how long it was since

she
had been kissed like that? How many years her starved senses had

been
denied the sensual contact they had just enjoyed?

"I must go... I..."

"Kelly, what is it you're so frightened of?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," she lied tautly.

"I'm not frightened of anything... Now, will you let me go," she
hissed, pulling away from him and heading for the door. Was she

going
completely out of her mind? Allowing him to kiss her like that?

What
on earth was happening to her? She had been told she was frigid for

so
long that she had come to believe it, she acknowledged as she

opened
the door. She had thought herself impervious to the kind of sexual
arousal Jake had just subjected her to, but she wasn't, and the
knowledge terrified her. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing

a
completely different reflection from the one she was accustomed to.

Jake had kissed her--once-and her body ached with a need she was
terrified to put a name to. Why? Why now? and why, oh, why with

this
man who saw and knew far too much about her already?

"So you're Kelly's friend?" Jennifer Gordon eyed Jake
appreciatively.

"Lucky Kelly!"

"Exactly my sentiments," Sue admitted with a laugh. At the other

end
of the table Jeremy shot his wife a thin-lipped smile and said

nastily,
"Sorry, darling--you couldn't afford him, could she, Kelly?"

Jennifer Gordon's cold blue eyes sharpened speculatively, and

Kelly
longed to dash the *******s of her wine glass in Jeremy's over-fed

and
pasty face.

"My feelings for Kelly have nothing to do with her wealth," Jake

cut in
coldly, and if Kelly hadn't known better she could have sworn that

that
was real anger she saw in his eyes, real intent behind the pointed
comment, real desire in the look he bestowed upon her as he lifted

her
hand and turned it palm upwards, towards his lips, his brief caress
where her pulse raced treacherously sending shimmering waves of
reaction through her.

She wouldn't be sorry when the whole farce was over, Kelly decided
later, smiling politely as the Gordons left. It was well after one,
Jeremy was obviously and unpleasantly drunk, and Sue had borne his
snide insults so bravely all evening that Kelly could have wept for
her. Sue was worth twenty of her husband, Kelly fumed; how could

she
simply sit there and allow him to insult her, the way he had done?

Half an hour later she was on the point of going upstairs when

Jeremy
staggered out into the hall.

"I wish you luck of her," he muttered to Jake, who was behind her.

"Frigid little bitch!"

Kelly was glad Sue hadn't been there to overhear him, and her face

was
still flushed with anger when she walked into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry about this, " she apologised in a stilted fashion to

Jake.
' Jeremy's idea of a joke. "

He recognised the bitterness in her voice and glanced thoughtfully

at
her.

"Meaning that since he never loses an opportunity of calling you "
frigid" he thinks he's punishing us both by telling Sue that we

wanted
to sleep together? You've been behaving rather strangely for a


liberated and experienced lady."

"Meaning what exactly?" Kelly demanded, suspecting that he was

mocking
her.

"Merely that I thought every woman knew these days that feminine
frigidity is a myth put about by incompetent male lovers."

His raised eyebrows invited her to comment and when she didn't he

mused
thoughtfully, "Personally I'm still romantic enough to believe that

sex--no matter how
excellent--lacks impact without the intensity of mutual desire-

mutual
love. "

Kelly stared at him in surprise. These were the last sentiments

she
had expected to hear him express.

"What's wrong? You know," he added thoughtfully, 'there's

something
distinctly intriguing about you, Kelly. On the one hand we have the
cool controlled career woman, who cuts emotion right out of her

life;
on the other we have the grieving widow who misses her husband so

much
that she can't bear to let another man near her. Something tells me
the real Kelly is neither of those women. You could represent an
irresistible challenge to some man, Kelly. "

"But not to you," she parried dangerously, daring him to

contradict

her.

"Oh, I don't know... But that's not what you hired me for--or is

it?"
he asked softly.

"Is that what you wanted, Kelly? A man to share your bed without
question or criticism; someone who you could simply pay to

disappear
when you'd grown bored with him..."

"That's a disgusting suggestion!" Kelly choked.

"If I wanted someone to go to bed with, I wouldn't have to resort

to
buying myself a man!"

"I wasn't suggesting you would," Jake retorted quietly.

"I was merely implying that your inadequacies might prompt you to

do as
men do in similar circumstances--that is, you might prefer to pay

for
your pleasure; treat your partner as an object; a commodity who you
could simply use and discard..."

Kelly wasn't listening; she hadn't heard more than the first few
words.

"What inadequacies?" she demanded shakily.

"What do you mean?"

Jake shrugged.

"You know damned well what I mean, Kelly. You freeze every time

anyone
comes near you--you've been married; you're not a child; I don't

know
what it is that makes it impossible for you to react normally to

men,
but it's definitely there.
"
Kelly didn't dare to respond. Instead, she picked up her robe and
bolted for the bathroom. Hateful creature! How dared he imply that
she might feel inadequate! If she didn't like being mauled and

pawed
by all and sundry that was only because she was choosy. She

despised
men . and she had every right to. She had proved that a woman could
be every bit as successful, every bit as ruthless and determined.

But
what about the cost of proving it? Slowly she stopped undressing,
shivering slightly. The cost had been high, she acknowledged. She
trusted no one;shared her life with no one; neither lover nor

family. She was
completely and absolutely alone, and she was tired of telling

herself
that she preferred it that way.


She was glad that she had the privacy of the bathroom, and that

she
could run the water to drown out the sound of her tears. Not that
there was much sound; they flowed silently and steadily, as though

they
had been dammed up for far too long, undl she was too exhausted to

do

more than shower briefly and get ready for bed.

When she opened the door, Jake was sitting in an armchair

apparently
engrossed in a book.

"Ah," he explained when she walked in.

"Bathroom free? What's the plan for tomorrow?" he asked casually,
picking up the pyjamas she had laid on the bed, and a to welling
robe.

"What time do you plan to leave?"

"After lunch," Kelly told him expressionlessly, wondering why she
should feel so affected by the fact that he had barely glanced at
her.

That was what they had arranged before dinner, wasn't it? That

since
they had to share a room, they would do so in a civilised and un
fussing manner. At least, she amended, that was what she had

arranged.
Jake had merely listened grimly in a silence which she remembered

now
had been fraught with an odd sort of tension.

She heard the bathroom door close behind him as she unpinned her

hair
and started to brush it methodically. She hoped that before he

emerged
she would be in bed and feigning sleep. Not that she had any fears

that he might attempt to touch her; his comments about her

inadequacies
had more than banished those, and her face burned fiercely as she
remembered the look which had accompanied them! How dared he pity

her!
How dared he!

luce 10-09-10 05:43 AM

CHAPTER FOUR

kellymoved restlessly in her sleep, tormented by the ghosts who
pursued her. Colin . mocking her. Colin . hurting her. She cried
out, twisting desperately to escape the clutching hands she knew

from
experience could cause such pain, suddenly jerked from her

nightmare as
a light snapped on and a husky voice growled sleepily, "For God's

sake,
what's going on?"

It took her several seconds to realise where she was, who the

voice
belonged to, by which time Jake too was fully awake, his face

puzzled
and concerned as he studied her.

"That was some nightmare," he commented briefly.

"Are you all right?"

She wanted to say 'yes', but the word stuck in her throat. She sat

up,
shivering as she felt the chill night air striking her bare back

and
shoulders, unconscious of the terror trapped in her eyes as she

glanced
nervously round the room.

"Would you like a drink? A cup of tea?" A cup of tea! Oh, how she
yearned for one.

"I'll go down and make us one. You stay here."

"Us." How intimate the small word sounded! Kelly shivered when

Jake
left the room, without him it seemed alien and empty, her

nightmares
crowding back, dragging her back into the past. Why, tonight of all
nights, did she have to relive the horror of her wedding night? She
had stopped dreaming about it years ago, but tonight for some

reason
the old nightmare had surfaced in all its shocking intensity. She
could almost imagine she saw the bruises forming on her smooth

flesh
where Colin had punished her. She moaned softly, her eyes going

blank,
and she was shivering with reaction and terror when Jake came back,
frowning as he put the mug of steaming tea on the table beside her,

the
bed depressing under his weight as he sat down.

"Want to tell me about it?" His hand stroked her hair back off her

hot
face.

"Your hair's lovely," he told her unexpectedly.

"Like silk, and your skin's so pale." His glance lingered

appreciatively on the outline of her breasts beneath the flimsy

fabric
of her nightgown, his eyes narrowing as she flushed darkly.

"You don't have to say that," she told him jerkily, trying to draw
away, but his arm round her waist constrained her.

"What?" He was frowning again.

"What don't I have to say, Kelly?"

"You don't have to flatter me," she retorted tightly.

"I wasn't flattering you." His voice was pleasant but firm.

"Flattery implies that I was speaking with some ulterior motive. I

was
simply stating facts; that you have lovely skin and hair, which you
do."

With his free hand he touched the shining length of her hair, his

thumb
tracing the line of her shoulder. Delicious tremors of sensation

slid
over her skin, and Kelly shivered again.

"You're cold."

Before she could protest, she was drawn against him, her skin

flushing
heatedly as she realised that the smooth warmth she could feel

against
her back was his naked chest; for he had not worn the jacket of the
pyjamas she had put out for him.

"Don't panic." She could hear the amusement in his voice as it

brushed
her ear.

"I'm simply doing the gentlemanly thing and helping you to keep

warm
while you drink your tea. Here." He reached forward and handed her
the mug, but Kelly had to hold it with both hands, she was

trembling so
much; and it wasn't just her hands, her whole body was trembling,
trembling so much that she was spilling the tea, and then suddenly

weak
tears were sliding down her face, and she was shivering and crying
alternately, unable to understand what was happening to her.

"Kelly, for God's sake!"

Jake didn't sound amused now, and he didn't sound angry either. He
sounded . concerned. But why should he be concerned about her?

She felt his hands on her arms, turning her, holding her against

the
warmth of his chest, her face buried in the curve of his shoulder,

his
hands on her back, stroking, soothing, calming her overwrought
emotions, the murmurs of comfort she could hear above her head, the
soothing sound of waves against a beach. She felt lulled and safe,
warm and protected, and it came to her on a jolting tide of

awareness
that she didn't want to leave his arms. She wanted to stay there.

She
stilled, and lifted her head.

"Kelly!"

There was a raw note of warning in Jake's voice, and she realised

for
the first time that her breasts were pressed against the exposed

flesh
of his chest, their only covering the fine satin of her nightgown.

"Kelly."

This time her name was a statement of intent, and although he gave

her
plenty of opportunity to do so, Kelly made no attempt to move away

as
he lowered his head, touching the stilled softness of her lips. Her
eyes clung to his. This couldn't be happening, Kelly thought
heatedly.

She couldn't be in this bedroom, in bed with this stranger,

letting him
kiss her, wanting him to make love to her, but she was and she did,

and
she couldn't understand what was happening to her. Suddenly, she
didn't want to understand, she simply wanted to touch and be

touched,
to be close to and part of another human being.

Her small choked cry was lost beneath the heated pressure of

Jake's
kiss, a potent, drugging kiss that blinded her to what shreds of

reason
she had left. Her arms crept round his neck, his smothered groan

as
the brief movement brought her breasts in closer contact with

Jake's
chest, activating a response inside her that urged her to press her
body closer to his, to exult in the hurried throb of his heart as

his
hands moved to the neck of her nightgown, unfastening the small

bows
that fastened it, his eyes darkening as he held her gently away,
pushing aside the fabric to expose the swollen peaks that had

wantonly
incited him to do just exactly that. Kelly couldn't believe her own
behaviour. Her stomach muscles quivered in aching protest, not at

what
she was doing--no, what she ached for was Jake's possession; his

desire
and the knowledge that she was desirable and capable of arousing

such a
man.

"Aren't you going to take it off?" Her mouth was dry as she

whispered
the words, Jake's eyes darkening in acknowledging response as he
murmured huskily, "Just try and stop me." And then he was pushing
aside the blue satin, and she should have felt embarrassed about

the
way he was studying her body, but all she could do was to try and
control the fierce tide of exultation that swept her as she saw the
dark colour running up under his tan as he studied her, and then he

was
removing his pyjamas, and she closed her eyes, seeing for a moment
Colin, but it was only for a moment, for Jake was nothing like

Colin,
and her eyes widened in appreciation of his muscular masculinity,

her
fingers touching the tanned skin with tentative hesitancy as she

became
lost in a voyage of tactile discovery.
"Kelly, Kelly, what are you trying to do to me?" Jake groaned, the
sound muffled against her throat as his tongue stroked over the
sensitive skin, his hands exploring her body with a much surer

touch
than hers had on him.

She gasped as he pushed her down against the pillows, one hand

tangling
in the silky length of her hair while the other cupped one pale
breast.

"I've been wanting to do this ever since you walked into that

damned
office," Jake muttered thickly against her skin, and then Kelly was
incapable of thinking, of breathing almost as he lowered his head,

his
tongue stroking urgently against her nipple, her mind reeling with
shock and excitement as he savoured the arousal of her flesh,

teasing
it until she was almost lightheaded with the pounding ache of

desire in
her body.

"Jake!" She moaned his name despairingly, touching the dark hair,
gasping her shock aloud as his hand slid over her hip and stroked

her
stomach, the sensations he aroused inside her as he sucked lier
throbbing breast spiralling wildly out of control until she

couldn't
contain them any more and she was clutching anxiously at his

shoulders,
her body arching willing beneath him, eager for the pleasure he was
giving her.

"So good," Jake muttered thickly as his lips caressed her breast.

"I've wanted you like this from the first moment I saw you." He
sounded almost drugged, his voice roughened by a desire that Kelly

felt
too. His free hand slid down to her hips, holding her against him,

his
teeth nibbling seductively at her sensitised skin, his body

unashamedly
aroused, and incredibly she felt a heated response; a need that

burned
through her.

The nightmare which had originally woken her was completely
forgotten--everything was forgotten apart from Jake and the

sensations
he was bringing to life in her passion-drugged body. She responded

to
his touch with a feverish intensity that drove out everything else.

She didn't know what subtle chemistry there was between them that

made
her react to him in the way she did, she only knew that it was

there.

She moaned, every nerve-ending tingling erotically, her body

crying out
for his possession. His hand touched her thigh, his lips murmuring

her
name hoarsely against her skin, and she shivered suddenly as the
memories stormed back, and it was not Jake touching her, but Colin.

Colin who called her name and violated her body, her emotions.

She tensed instinctively, dimly aware of Jake lifting his body

from
hers, watching her, his eyes dark and hard.

"Kelly? What the hell is this?" he demanded tersely.

"What sort of game do you think you're playing?"

"Don't touch me," Kelly moaned softly. She was shivering, tears
filling her eyes, the past sweeping her inexorably backwards in

time,
and she shuddered in revulsion remembering how it had been; how

Colin
had hurt her.

"Don't touch you? Don't worry, I won't," Jake bit out grimly.

"There's only one excuse--one permissible explanation for what

you've
just done. If you were a virgin I might ... just might be able to
understand, but we both know you're not. So why?"

"Colin," Kelly muttered sickly barely aware of what she was

saying.

"You reminded me of Colin and..."

The oath that ripped from Jake's throat silenced her, and too late

she
realised he had misunderstood. He stood over her, pulling on his

robe,
his face like granite, as he reached for one of the blankets,

wrenching
it off the bed.
"I never play substitute," he told her icily.

"Never, Kelly. Got that?

Oh, there's no need to look at me like that," he added silkily, "

I
don't get my kicks from using force. You're sick, Kelly. You're
looking for a man who's prepared to play a part, who's prepared to

be
"Colin" , but I'm not that man. The next time I touch you, Kelly,

it
will be because you ask me. Me . not Colin, not anyone else. Me!
"
He was angry, furiously, bitterly angry. How could she tell him

that
he was wrong; that it wasn't like that? That just for a moment she

had
remembered the brutality of Colin's lovemaking, and the memory had
turned her from a warm,responsive woman into a terrified numbed

child?
And what about him? He had wanted her right from the start, he had

said,
but wasn't that just exactly the sort of polished line a man like

him would use? How
many lonely, defenceless women had hoped to find love in his arms?

She
shuddered again as realisation of what she had been about to do

swept
over her. She had wanted Jake with a physical compulsion totally
outside her experience, and he had played on that, sensing her

want,
feeding it, but why? He was an attractive, experienced predatory
male;hewas also, she suspected, a poor one. The conclusions were
obvious--so obvious that she couldn't understand why she herself

hadn't
drawn them before!
Only another hour and then they could leave, Kelly decided

thankfully,
glancing surreptitiously at her watch. The weekend had been a

complete
disaster in every way, and as for last night! She shuddered, unable

to
stop her memory from playing back for her a blow-by-blow repetition

of
the night's events. What on earth had possessed her? There could

only
be one word for it--lust! All the repressed desires of all those

years
since Colin, and she hated herself for what had happened. She would
have preferred to pretend that it hadn't happened, but the aching

throb
of her swollen breasts reminded her all too uncomfortably that it
had.

"Kelly, you haven't been listening to me," Sue reproached.

"I was just saying to Jake that it would be lovely if you could

both
join me at Easter."

'might be able to. Sue," Kelly told her, forcing herself to pay
attention, 'but I'm afraid it's impossible as far as Jake is

concerned,
isn't it, darling?"

"Oh, I don't know."

She glared furiously at Jake, wondering what on earth he thought

he was
doing.

"I dare say something could be arranged," he said smoothly.

"It's time I had a break."

"But you said you were far too busy," Kelly improvised wildly.

" Mmm, perhaps I'm having second thoughts. It's certainly a

tempting
prospect: you, me, the sun and the sea."

"Quite the romantic, isn't he?" Jeremy sneered. An animosity had
developed between the two men, brought on, Kelly was sure, by

Jeremy's
fury because she had out manoeuvred him by bringing Jake with her.
That at least had been the right decision and made everything else
worth while. Sue looked a good deal more cheerful this morning, and
Kelly shuddered to think what might have happened if she hadn't had
Jake to keep Jeremy at bay.

"Oh, please say you will," Sue implored, 'and it needn't be too
expensive. Daddy is letting us have the villa rent free. "

"Sounds terrific," Jake responded with a smile.

No doubt it did to him, Kelly thought sourly, all her previous

doubts
re-surfacing. Why was he encouraging Sue? To make sure he got a

free
holiday? What had been behind his behaviour last night? Her heart
started to thump uncomfortably. She was a rich woman and a lonely

one.

Only she knew how close she had come last night to giving in to

the
most basic impulse of all human beings; the need to be close to

another
of their own kind. But what if Jake had sensed her need? He was a

man
who quite patently had expensive tastes and equally obviously did

not
have the means to indulge them. His clothes were expensive; surely

he
couldn't afford them out of the wages he earned from the agency? If

he
was an actor he wasn't a very well-known one;

perhaps he had grown tired of waiting for the big break of playing

the
polished escort to rich women. Perhaps he had decided it was time

he
cashed in on his undoubted attractions? Why should she find the
thought so disturbing?

"So you will come?" Sue sounded excited and Kelly dragged her mind
back to the present.

"Of course we will, won't we, darling?"

"We will what?" she asked Jake suspiciously. He hadn't touched her
this morning--at least not physically--he undressed her mentally

every
time he looked at her, and she seethed with bitter indignation as

she
watched him doing so.

"We will join Sue at Easter? We could both do with the break."

"You may do, but I..."

"You do too," Jake said firmly.

"After all, I could hardly go without you."

Too true, she thought ironically. How could he afford it?

"I'm not sure. Sue," she began, suppressing a gasp of pain as Jake
gripped her fingers painfully, warning her not to go on.

"What was all that for?" she demanded angrily when they were

alone.

"I

don't have the slightest intention of going to Corfu with you and

you
know it! "

"Why not? Do you prefer to remain in England--with Jeremy?"

"Jeremy!" Funny, but she had almost forgotten him; forgotten the
reason she had hired Jake in the first place.

"Yes, Jeremy," Jake mocked.
"Sue's husband. Surely you haven't forgotten him already? If you

stay
behind, he's bound to jump to the conclusion that you've done so
because of him."

It was true, and Kelly couldn't deny it. If she remained in London
Jeremy would invent some excuse to come and see her.

"I don't know what you're trying to achieve by this," she told him
angrily, 'unless it's a free holiday! " .

She had expected him to be angry, but instead he merely laughed.

"That helps," he admitted, 'but there are other considerations. "

"Such as the fact that you're getting tired of being a paid

companion,"
Kelly hazarded wildly.

"Well, if you think..."

"How would you know what I think?" he goaded softly.

"And, Kelly--' She turned to glare at him.

"Try backing out of this," he said softly, 'and I'll see that Sue

gets

to know the truth about her husband. "

Kelly paled.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me," he advised grimly.

"You're despicable, do you know that?"

"Then that makes two of us, doesn't it?" he said quietly.

"Or doesn't what you did last night come into that class in your

book?
Never mind," he told her grimly, 'it does in mine. "

"You don't understand..."

"Then tell me," he invited levelly, but Kelly couldn't say a word;

couldn't betray to him now, in the cold light of day, the fact

that she
had withdrawn through fear and remembered pain. Only a virgin, he

had
said, and she wasn't that. but he was wrong, she was! And she was
beginning to think she was destined to remain so for the rest of

her
life. Last night she had wanted him, this morning she was

bewildered
by the emotions he aroused in her.

Easter was less than a month away. Sue talked excitedly all

through
lunch of the holiday, while Jeremy sulked.

"That's right," he goaded Sue.

"Go off and leave me while you enjoy yourself."

"Why don't you come with us?" Jake interposed smoothly.

"Surely you could manage a few days?"

"Oh yes, darling, do," Sue breathed.

"I might," Jeremy muttered.

Less than an hour later they were on their way back to London.

Kelly
hunched furiously in her seat as she seethed inwardly at the way in
which Jake had manipulated her.

"Sulking?" he asked trenchantly as they neared London.

"You had no right to accept Sue's invitation. Why did you?"

"Oh, I have my reasons," he told her lazily, 'and like I said,

don't
try backing out, Kelly," he warned her, 'or you know what will

happen."

"What are you looking for? It can't just be a free holiday."

"Not just," he agreed, smiling mockingly at her.

"Don't worry, Kelly," he drawled as he manoeuvred the powerful car

into
another lane, "I'm not Jeremy, and I have no intention of forcing
myself on you."

No, but he wouldn't need to use force, Kelly admitted, shivering a
little. Had he guessed how much he had aroused her? She was rich

and
she was vulnerable--too vulnerable, and she only wished she knew

what
was in his mind.

He stopped the car an hour later outside her block of apartments,
getting out and retrieving her case.

"I'll park this and then see you up," he told her easily, not

giving
her the opportunity to refuse.

He was back within minutes, his hand under her elbow, as he guided

her
towards the lift.

"I'm perfectly capable of managing on my own," she told him

stiffly.

"Ah, but I must do the job properly."

He saw her to her door, turning the key in the lock for her.

"The bill," she began hesitantly. Would they invoice her, or did

she
pay now, or. "Leave it until we get back from Corfu," Jake advised

her
carelessly.

"Still," he added thoughtfully, "I don't suppose there's any harm

in my
taking a little something on account."

He bent his head, his lips brushing hers lightly, mocking her

startled
expression.

"Why did you do that?" Kelly demanded when he had finished.

"You said..."

"I know what I said," he agreed hardly, 'but perhaps I've decided

to
give you a second chance. See you at Heathrow. "

He was gone before she could respond. What did he mean? she

seethed,
as she walked into her apartment. He had decided to give her a

second
chance? A second chance of what?

She returned to her office on Monday morning, fully determined to

put a
call through to the agency and cancel the trip to Corfu, but when

she
reached the office it was to find that she had to fly out to New

York
urgently to discuss a new contract. It was ten days before she was
back. She tried the agency several times but without getting an
answer, resolving that she would just have to keep on trying until

she
did get through.

luce 10-09-10 05:48 AM


CHAPTER FIVE

job, I'm so looking forward to getting away," Sue murmured, easing

off
her shoes.

"Aren't you?"

She had rung up the previous day to tell Kelly that she was coming

up
to London to shop and they had arranged to have lunch together.

"Jeremy is coming with us after all," Sue continued without

waiting for
an answer.

"Kelly..."

Kelly's heart sank. There was a note in Sue's voice that warned

her of
what was to come.

"Kelly, I know you'll think I'm being stupid," Sue got out in a

rush,
'but I'm so worried. Jeremy's been so . so different since I lost

the
baby. " She produced a watery smile.

"I'd even got to the stage of wondering if there was someone

else!"

"Then you're a fool," Kelly told her firmly, mentally adding to
herself. Who would be stupid enough to want Jeremy?

"Look, love," she told Sue.

"Things have been difficult for you both lately. I know how much

it
hurt you--losing the baby..."

"Jeremy too Sue broke in loyally.

"Oh, I know he doesn't show it much, but he was looking forward to
being a father..."

Kelly didn't know what to say. To murmur that there would be other
babies seemed so crass somehow.

"I'm sorry, I told myself I wasn't going to moan on to you. How's
Jake?" Sue asked, determinedly changing the subject.

"I like him, Kelly. He's so right for you somehow."

Kelly smiled noncommittally. She had already decided to tell Sue

that
her 'romance' with Jake was off. Then she was going to telephone

the
agency and cancel the arrangements for Corfu. So Jake thought he

could
blackmail her into providing him with a free holiday, did he? He

was
in for a big shock!

"Oh, here's Jeremy," Sue exclaimed, her face breaking into a

smile.

"He said he'd try to join us if he could."

Jeremy greeted his wife, and Kelly tried to conceal her distaste

as he
turned to kiss her, making sure it was her cheek that received the
moistly unpleasant touch of his lips and not her mouth.

Jeremy ordered fresh tea for himself and Sue excused herself to go

to
the ladies', leaving Kelly alone with Jeremy.

"All set for Corfu, then?" he asked, leering at her faintly.

"How's the great romance? Shouldn't have thought he was your type,
Kelly.

Doesn't exactly strike me as the faithful sort either. Never

mind," he
told her with another leer, his hand finding its way to her knee, "

I'm
always ready to make sure you don't get too lonely. You've only got

to
say the word. " He was eyeing her speculatively, and Kelly felt
sickened by the expression in his eyes. Were all men like this?

Lusting after every woman who caught their eye with no thought of
loyalty or respect?

"Pity he's coming to Corfu with us," Jeremy added, his eyes

narrowing
as he watched her.

"So the ice-lady isn't quite as cold as she pretended to be. How

did
he do it, Kelly?"

Kelly was thankful that Sue returned before she had to answer.

Jeremy
sickened her, but he was still Sue's husband. She gritted her

teeth,
knowing now that it would be impossible to cancel the coming

holiday.

Jeremy had invaded the privacy of her bedroom once already--she
wouldn't put it past him to try again. She was going to have to

find
an opportunity to tell Sue that this time she and Jake wouldn't

want to
share a room, although quite how she was going to do that she

didn't
yet know.

Her vulnerability to Jake's practised charm was something that
astounded and terrified her. It was a galling admission to make,

but
she knew that she couldn't trust herself to resist him if he tried

to
make love to her again. She couldn't analyse what had happened to
her;perhapssheer old fashioned frustration was the simplest answer;

she
was twenty-six and had never had a lover, had never wanted one,

until
now. She had once thought that Colin's treatment of her had frozen

all
her natural responses for good, but she had been wrong. In spite of
his charm, his pleasant manners, and his obvious physical

attraction,
something about Jake frightened her; or was it her own reaction to

him
which was so terrifying?

Heathrow was a seething cauldron of humanity. Kelly searched
desperately for Sue's familiar face amongst the crowds milling
everywhere, wishing she had not had to come straight from the

office to
the airport. She felt hot, tired and grubby, uncomfortably out of
place among these people in their obvious holiday clothes. She was
wearing a wool and linen mix suit severely tailored, and a toning
high-necked silk blouse. The temperature had started to rise during
the day; she had had problems getting a taxi, and her suitcase felt
uncomfortably heavy.

A light touch on her shoulder had her whirling round, her eyes
darkening in bitter recognition as she saw Jake standing there.

Unlike
her he was dressed for the flight, in jeans which clung smoothly to

the
intensely masculine shape of his body, and a checked shirt open at

the
neck to reveal the dark hair shadowing his chest. Her heart in her
mouth, Kelly could only stare at him, shocked by her own response

to
the intense masculinity of him. Eyes narrowed, he watched her. Did

he
know what sort of effect he had on her? She felt herself flushing

as
foolishly as any schoolgirl and turned angrily to lift her

suitcase.

"I'll take that."

"I can manage."

"Who would dare doubt it?" His eyes mocked her.

"But we are supposed to be lovers, remember? Sue and Jeremy are
waiting in the bar."

He lifted her suitcase effortlessly, matching his long stride to

her
shorter one, indicating the bar where Sue and Jeremy were waiting.

"I'll get this checked in for you," he told her.

"Sue's given me the tickets."

Sue had made all the arrangements and Kelly had sent her a cheque

for
their tickets. Her mouth compressed angrily at his assumption of
control, her body bristling with resentment. What was it about him
that affected her like this? Was it because he made her feel so
vulnerable? So. feminine? Was that why she had hired him? Because
somehow the fact that she was paying for his time gave her the

upper
hand, made her feel safer--evened out the differences between them?

Was she afraid to give him any advantage over her? Was she afraid

of
him? She shivered, not liking the direction of her thoughts. Since
Colin, she had deliberately kept any involvement with the opposite

sex
to a bare minimum; in fact her male friends were mostly older,
well-married men; or younger less sexually aggressive ones. "What
would you like to drink?"

She hadn't heard him arrive and jumped slightly, her eyes widening

as
he placed his hand on her shoulder, bending towards her, capturing

her
parted lips and caressing them briefly.

" Mmm... nice," he murmured as he released her. She could feel Sue

and
Jeremy watching them and flushed angrily. There had been no

necessity
for Jake to kiss her like that. It was already well established in
their minds that they were lovers; there had been no need for him

to
underline it. Her lips tingled pleasurably, and she hated herself
because she knew that when he kissed her she had felt an almost
irresistible urge to touch him.

They went through the normal boarding formalities without any

problems,
and as the engines warmed up Kelly experienced her normal
stomach-clenching fear. She had never been able to get over her
dislike of flying and she knew her nails were digging into the arms

of
her seat, her eyes fixed rigidly on the back of the seat in front

of
her.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to keep calm, not to give in

to
the fear clenching her muscles.

"So you are human after all," Jake murmured against her hair. He
lifted her hand from the seat arm, clasping it warmly between his.

She
wanted to pull away, but the plane started to move and her nails

curled
protestinglyinto her palm.

"It's okay, we'll soon be up." Jake spoke soothingly, transferring

one
arm round her trembling shoulders, her face buried in the curve of

his
chest, his free hand still clasping hers. Beneath her cheek his

body
felt solid and muscular. She was suddenly aware of the warm

masculine
smell of him, the reassuring thump of his heart; the comfort of his

arm
holding her, protecting her. What on earth was she thinking? This

was
a man who made his living from making himself attractive to women.

The
plane lifted, and she moaned a small protest, closing her eyes and
clutching instinctively at the open neck of his shirt. And then

they
were airborne, and the pounding of her heart had lessened. The
stewardesses were moving about, the relieved chatter of the

passengers
filtering through the tense silence of takeoff.
"All right?" Jake asked matter-of factly releasing her.

"Fine." She knew she sounded abrupt, but she hated him seeing and
knowing her weaknesses.

"You really hate it, don't you?" he drawled sardonically.

Kelly glanced at him suspiciously.

"Tell me something. Have you ever relied on anyone, Kelly; let

your de
fences down; given them your trust? Or did you bury all the normal
feminine responses with your husband?"

"For " feminine" read " weak and vulnerable", I suppose you mean?"
Kelly stormed back.

Jake was shaking his head, his mouth wry.

"No, that's what you mean, Kelly. When I say " feminine", I mean a
woman's instinctive and very flattering need to lean on a male

shoulder
occasionally. Don't you ever stop to think how emasculating your
attitude is, what a turn-off it can be? I pity the poor male who's
fool enough to fall for you, Kelly, you'd never give him a chance,
would you? You'd never let him be a man ... or a lover."
Her face was darkly flushed. Kelly hated him for what he was

saying,
but wasn't it true?
"I don't want a man," she managed thickly at last, 'or a lover. "
"Why? Because no one could compare with Colin?"
"You're just like all the rest," Kelly hit out wildly.
"You want a woman to be subservient, to..."
"What I want a woman to be is a woman," Jake corrected.
"A woman isn't a man, Kelly, and that means she is neither

inferior nor
superior; she is simply different, and I personally wouldn't want

it
any other way."

No, because he knew how vulnerable her sex was to men like him,

Kelly
seethed, men who used their sexuality to beguile and deceive, just

as
Colin had once deceived her into believing he loved her. All he had
loved was her money!

Her head started to thump and she searched in her bag for some
aspirins. When Jake saw her produce them he summoned the stewardess
and asked for some Perrier water, handing it to her.

"I could have asked for that myself if I wanted it," she snapped
childishly.
His mouth thinned.
"As I am sitting nearer the aisle I simply thought I'd save you

the
trouble. You know what the problem is with women like you,
Kelly--women who want to boss the whole world--they daren't let
themselves be women; so they spend all their time fighting to

overcome their sexuality,
fighting to make themselves asexual. Have you ever looked at
yourself--properly, I mean? " he demanded thin-lipped.
"Those clothes, the way you wear your hair ... everything laced up
tight and repressed...
"
"What are you trying to say?" Kelly whispered back furiously.
"I'm a business-woman and my clothes and hair reflect my

lifestyle.
"
"Exactly, you're a cool hard lady, Kelly, and you like letting the
world know it. But don't expect me to toe the line.
"
"You're paid to toe it--remember!" She watched the grey eyes

darken to
flint.
"Of course," he agreed sardonically.
"That's how you prefer your men, isn't it, Kelly? Bought and paid
for--obedience guaranteed.

It makes you feel good, doesn't it, reminding me of your wealth.

Be
careful, Kelly," he warned her.

"The road you've taken leads only to loneliness."

"Perhaps that's what I want," she retorted in a clipped voice, but
inside she felt like crying; crying like a lost and frightened

child,
only there wasn't much points was there? She had learned a long

time
ago that when she cried there was no one there to dry her tears,

and
the only person she could rely on was herself.

She must have slept--the effect of the headache pills, because the

next
thing she knew was that Jake was shaking her gently, telling her

that
they were coming in to land. She opened her eyes, flushing
selfconsciouslyas she realised that she was in his arms.

He smiled sardonically.

"Don't worry about it," he told her.

"Even Homer nods, so they tell me. Personally I'd hate to be you,
Kelly, terrified of giving in to even the slightest human

instinct...
but then each to his own."

Was that how she struck others? Kelly wondered as they left the
plane.

She knew that she had a formidable reputation at work, but then

she was
head of the agency and she had worked hard to build it up. She had

to
keep on top of things, otherwise she would lose everything she had
worked for. But what was 'everything'? It didn't take too much of

an
effort to remember back to the days when all she wanted from life

was a
home and family, love . she pushed the thought away. Love! She

ought
to have learned by now that the love she had once dreamed of simply
didn't exist. She only had to look at her friends. How many of them
were really happily married? But at least they had had the courage

to
try; to commit themselves to another human being, whereas she. They
hadn't experienced what she had, she reminded herself bitterly,

they
hadn't. "Kelly?"

She realised with a start that Sue was watching her anxiously.

"Are you all right?" her friend asked.

"You look so pale."

"A headache," she responded briefly.

"There was a crisis at the office before I left."

"Good old Kelly," Jeremy jeered.

"Always reminding us what a big business-woman she is! You've got

a
winner there, Jake. If I were you I'd give up work and let Kelly

keep
you."

"You might just have an idea there," Jake responded lazily.

"There's something very sexy about successful women."

"Ignore Jeremy," Sue whispered as they waited for the men to

collect
the luggage.

"I don't know what's got into him lately."

Kelly did. He was trying to needle her, trying to humiliate her in
front of Jake. Little did he know!

Two hire cars were waiting for them at the airport. They had

decided
on two at Jake's suggestion so that they could go their separate

ways
if they wished, and now that Jeremy had elected to join the party,
Kelly was glad. Things were bad enough without the added strain of
keeping up the fiction of devoted 'lovers' in front of Jeremy.

Sue knew where the villa was, having stayed there before, so they

left
first, with Jake and Kelly following.

The sun was blindingly brilliant and Kelly blinked painfully as

she
searched in her bag for her glasses. Unlike her, Jake seemed
completely unaffected by the heat. Sue had told them that it was a
four-hour drive to the villa and, since the small car did not have
air-conditioning, Kelly wished she had had the forethought to bring

a
change of clothes with her for travelling--she could easily have
changed on the plane and her silk blouse was sticking uncomfortably

to
her skin, her thick skirt oppressively hot.

Jake, on the other hand, looked perfectly comfortable and relaxed

in
his jeans and shirt, and Kelly envied him.

They were driving through a small village when he braked suddenly,
stopping outside a small general store. At first Kelly thought

there
was something wrong with the car, but anxiety turned to irritation

when
he calmly climbed out and sauntered across the road to the shop.

It was the kind that seemed to sell everything, judging by the

articles
hanging up outside. Jake disappeared into the dim interior,

returning
five minutes later with a parcel which he tossed across to her as

he
climbed in and restarted the engine.
"A present for you," he said casually.

"What is it?" Kelly asked suspiciously.

"Open it and see."

Inside the bag was a pretty pink crinkle cotton dress; a tiered

affair
with shoestring straps and a scalloped hem.

"I'll stop the car when we reach a quiet bit of road and you can

put it
on," Jake told her, apparently oblivious to her expression.

"Put it on? I don't want to put it on," Kelly told him angrily.

"I..

" She broke off as the car screeched to an abrupt halt and Jake

turned
to her, sparks of anger glinting in his eyes.

"Look, we've got a three-and-a-half-hour drive in front of us with

the
hottest part of the day coming up. Any woman with the slightest bit

of
sense would have realised that before she set off and dressed
appropriately as Sue did. Look at yourself! You're hot and you're
uncomfortable.. but if you want to go on suffering, that's okay by

me.

I simply thought you might feel cooler in that," he picked up the
cotton dress, 'than what you're wearing. "

He was right, of course, Kelly knew that, and she was behaving

like a
cross child. She was too hot, and she should have had the sense to
know that it would be much hotter here than it was at home. She bit
her lip, turning away so that he wouldn't see the glitter of tears

in
her eyes. What on earth was the matter with her?

"You're right," she agreed huskily.

"I'm sorry."

"It's relatively quiet here," Jake said coldly.

"I'll get out and stretch my legs if you want to change. Don't

worry
about us getting lost. I've been to Corfu before and Sue's given me
directions."

So he'd visited Corfu before. Who with? Kelly wondered curiously.

Another 'client' ?

She wriggled out of the straight skirt, keeping an eye on his
retreating back. He sat down on a rocky outcrop, the wind lifting

the
thick dark hair, the thin shirt stretched over the lean muscles of

his
back. Her fingers trembled over the buttons of her blouse. Oh, the
bliss of taking it off! She frowned as she realised that the bra

she
was wearing would show under the strappy dress, and quickly took it
off. Her skin looked pale against the warm pink cotton. Jake turned
and seemed to be studying the car, and she rumbled with the straps

in
her nervousness, tying them in clumsy bows. Jake started to walk

back
and Kelly grimaced as she caught her hair in the hook of her

blouse,
pulling out a few pins. She glanced in the driving mirror, pulling

a
face when she saw how untidy she looked. Strands of hair hung down

her
back, her make-up was smudged and she felt sticky and grubby.

"Here, these might help." Jake was opening the door, and handing

her a
pack of tissues. He seemed to think of everything, she thought
wrathfully, dabbing at her sticky skin. The untidiness of her hair
irritated her, and she pulled out the rest of the pins, rummaging

in
her handbag for her brush, dragging it ruthlessly through the

tangled
skeins of hair. She couldn't be bothered putting it up in a chignon
again, but there was a rubber band in her bag and she used it to

secure
her hair off her face, quickly plaiting it, while Jake watched.

"What's the matter?" she demanded crossly, seeing the lazy

amusement
in his eyes.

"Surely you aren't going to tell me you haven't seen a woman

brushing
her hair before?"
"I was just marvelling at the transformation," he told her drily ,
touching the long plait.

"You look about sixteen with this, although.. " his eyes dropped

to
her body, and Kelly was suddenly conscious of the fact that her

breasts
were almost visible beneath the fine cotton and, worse, the effect

his
intent gaze was having upon her body.

"Feeling better now?" he asked, switching his gaze from her

breasts to
her hot face.

Grimly, Kelly nodded her head.

"You're going to have to do better than that, you know, if you're

going
to convince Benson that we're still lovers."

The amused glance he gave her fired the anger that had been

simmering
inside her for so long.

"I didn't invite you to join me on this holiday," she breathed
bitterly.

"You blackmailed me into having you along. God alone knows why,
although I think I'm beginning to guess!"
"You are?" The grey gaze nan -owed on her face, watching her,

making it
difficult for her to breathe, hating the close confines of the car,
hating the way he made her feel; the emotions his proximity forced

to
life inside her, emotions she did not want to feel.


"Enlighten me, then--let's see if you're right.
"


He was still smiling, watching her with a lazy satisfaction that
reminded her of a jungle cat toying with his prey, and fury boiled

up
inside her,


the sheer pressure of her rage exploding through her normal

caution.


"Well, let's just say if you're hoping I'm going to be a meal

ticket
for life for you, you're wrong, and forcing yourself on me for this
holiday isn't going to change my mind! If you...
"


"Stop right there!
"


The ice-cold words cut through her tirade, and Kelly shivered

nervously
in the dangerous silence that followed.


"Let's get this straight. You think I'm after your money?
"


"Well, aren't you?" Kelly challenged dangerously.
"You're obviously a man with expensive tastes." She glanced
disparagingly at his expensive Rollex watch, her eyes skittering

away
from him as she saw the molten anger banked down under the hard

grey
eyes.

"Lady, I feel sorry for you," he grated, forcing her to look at

him.

"You're really screwed up inside, aren't you? Is it because of

what I
am, or what you are, that you think you can buy me? Oh yes, you do
think that," he went on brutally before she could object.

"You must do. What is it, Kelly, can't you believe anyone would

want
you for your own sake? Well, I've got news for you," he told her,

his
voice hard with contempt.

"There just isn't enough money in the world, never mind in your

bank
account, to make me want to marry you. I presume that is what all

this
is about?" He laughed harshly.

"My God, I don't think I'm really sitting here listening to this!"

Despite his sardonic manner, Kelly could sense the anger she had
ignited within him, and it frightened her. He had no reason to feel
angry, she reasoned. She had every right to think as she did .

every
reason. "Then why did you insist on coming on holiday with us?" she
demanded.

"Why?" He grimaced as though he had an unpleasant taste in his
mouth.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. If I had any sense I'd

turn
this car right round and get on the first plane back to the UK."

"Then why don't you?" Kelly challenged.

"I don't want you here."

"You'd rather have dear Jeremy, is that what you're trying to tell
me?

If it wasn't for Sue I'd say the pair of you deserve one another,

but
she doesn't deserve to be hurt, and for her sake. "

For Sue's sake! Kelly felt as though someone had stuck a knife
straight through her heart and was slowly, painfully turning it

until
she wanted to cry out with the agony it was causing her. What was

the
matter with her? What did this man matter to her? By rights she

ought
to despise him, but he seemed to be the one who was full of

contempt
for her!

"What happened to make you so suspicious, Kelly?" Jake taunted as

he
set the car in motion again.

"Oh, I know you lost a husband; but people can only make

allowances for
so much..."

What would he say if she told him the reason she was so suspicious

was
Colin himself? She shuddered, wondering what was happening to her.
She hadn't told anyone about Colin. Not anyone! Since the dreadful
night of their wedding she hadn't allowed any man close enough to

her
to learn the truth, but Jake had got close to her. too close. Was
that why she felt so antagonistic towards him? Did her antagonism
really mask fear? Kelly wasn't a fool. If she was genuinely
indifferent to Jake he simply wouldn't have the power to arouse the
emotions in her that he did. She was frightened of him and she was
frightened of herself, of her reactions to him. He had pushed open

a
door she had kept locked for too long, and her body still ached

with
the memory of how she had felt when he touched her.

Colour rushed to her cheeks as she remembered the abandoned way

she had
responded to his lovemaking. It had had an almost cataclysmic

effect
upon her, releasing the dammed-up springs of emotion, destroying

for
ever the myth that she was frigid.

The miles slipped by without Kelly being aware of them. She sat
rigidly in her seat, conscious of Jake's tightly controlled anger;

of
the grim line of his mouth as they left the main road and began to

drop
through forested countryside, tantalising glimpses of the sea

appearing
here and there between the trees. Soon they were passing villas set
amongst the trees, sugar almond colours, glimpsed through high

walls.

They drew level with an open gateway, and Jake turned into it. Sue

and
Jeremy were just emerging from their hire car, and Sue came

hurrying
towards them.

"You made it, then!"

"Your directions were fine," Jake assured her, giving her a warm

smile
as he switched off the engine. Pain ached through Kelly, tears
stinging her eyes. What was the matter with her? Surely she

couldn't
be jealous of Sue? Jake was simply someone she was employing to

keep
Jeremy away, that was all, and she had never been the possessive

type
even with Colin? "

"Kelly, you look pale," Sue commiserated.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a headache," Kelly mumbled.

"I'll be fine."

She felt limp and washed out beside Sue, who seemed to have taken

on a
new lease of life all of a sudden. Jake climbed out and came round

to
her side of the car, opening the door while Kelly was still

fumbling
with the catch. His fingers brushed the curve of her breast as he
helped her out and she recoiled as though she had been stung. Her

body
actually seemed to burn where he had touched her. She saw the

sardonic
expression in his eyes, the hardness of his mouth, and trembled

without
knowing why. Jake seemed to have changed--or was it merely that she
was seeing him properly for the first time? She had angered him by
telling him that she thought he was interested in her money, but

surely
it was a perfectly natural assumption, in the circumstances?

"Come on, I'll show you to your room," Sue told her.

"Luckily Dad has staff who come in from the village, so everything

will
be ready for us. There's quite a British community round here," Sue
went on.

"Business-men and so forth. Dad bought the villa when he
retired--you'll like it."

Kelly did. It was larger than she had imagined, and as she

followed
Sue through a large lounge, she glimpsed the oval shape of a

swimming
pool through the picture windows.

"There is a beach," Sue told her, following her glance, 'but the

ground
is rocky, and it's quite a steep walk down. Here's your room. "

She opened a door, and Kelly walked inside. The room was a good

size,
decorated in soft muted shades of coffee and peach, with a window
overlooking the cliff side and the sea, which Kelly could just

glimpse
through the pines. Single beds, separated by a white cane table,

and a
couple of matching chairs were the only furniture in the room.

"Bathroom off there," Sue went on, indicating one of a pair of

doors.

"The other door is to the dressing room. Sorry about the single

beds,"
she added with a grin.

"Don't give it another thought." Kelly hadn't realised Jake was

behind
them.

"Personally, I don't think there's anything cosier than sharing a

single bed," he
drawled, looking at Kelly.

She knew she was blushing, but couldn't do anything about it. Why

was
it that those few words conjured up such a picture of intimacy that

her
whole body felt flushed with heat and excitement? She could picture
all too easily how Jake might enjoy sharing a single bed; how his

lean
body would shape itself to that of his female companion, his arms

holding her secure.

"I'll leave you to unpack. Dad said he'd arrange for a cold meal

to be
left for us--I'll just go and check."

There was silence when Sue had gone. Kelly couldn't turn round for

the
life of her, even though she knew Jake was there. When he closed

the
door, the faint click sounded like a gunshot and she whirled round

in
shock.

"I would have thought this time you'd insist on separate rooms,"

Jake
told her cynically, his mouth wry.

"I would have done," Kelly agreed tautly, 'but I didn't want to

arouse
Jeremy's suspicions. "

"Of course not. Although I should have thought someone like him

would
just suit you--he's married, so you needn't be frightened of him
wanting your money, need you? So I'm to be your bodyguard, am I?"

he
drawled, eyebrows lifting.

"Well, in that case, I'll have to make sure you get value for

money,
won't I? I don't want you feeling that you've been shortchanged ,
Kelly."

"I don't know what you're so angry about," Kelly told him.
"No?" His hard laugh held disbelief.

"You aren't that naive, Kelly.

Damn it all, you've handed me the worst insult a woman can hand a

man,
and you don't know "why I should be angry" " he mocked acidly.

"It was a perfectly natural conclusion to draw," Kelly defended
herself.

"Especially when you'd..."

"I'd what?"

He was watching her with a look in his eyes that made her wish

she'd
never started the conversation. She moistened her dry lips with the
tip of her tongue, her fingers curling into her palms, tension

drawn
through her nerves like fine wire.

"When you'd ... made love to me," she finished huskily.

"You..."

"Made love to you?" He laughed incredulously, "Ye gods, where have

you

been? That wasn't " making love", Kelly!
"No, it hadn't been, she knew on a savage burst of pain. It had

simply
been the sort of thing a man like him would do . almost as second
nature.


"However," he added grittily, 'since we were interrupted when we

were,
it seems I owe you something on account, and since I never like to

be
indebted to anyone.
"
He reached her with three lithe strides, one hand shaping the back

of
her head, his fingers winding in her hair, so that she couldn't

move,
the other stroking the exposed column of her throat as he gradually
tugged her head back, his eyes watching the play of emotions over

her
face.


A tremor of fear pulsed through her. Colin had held her like this.
She swallowed nervously, her muscles tightening in dread as Jake

bent
his head.


"No!" She sobbed the word in panic-stricken terror, watching the

grey
eyes darken and the firm line of his mouth harden.


"No? Surely you aren't going to refuse me the chance to repay my
debts, Kelly?" he asked with silky determination.
"You're not being very flattering, you know." His lips captured

the
frantic pulse throbbing beneath her skin, and instantly her fear

was
gone, to be replaced by a languorous awareness of the pleasure

being
transmitted by the warm male mouth as it moved sensually over her
throat.

"Jake..."

She had meant his name to be a protest, but somehow it sounded

more
like a plea. Jake obviously interpreted it as such. His free hand
pushed aside the neckline of her loose dress, caressing the curve

of
her breast. Instantly, Kelly felt her nipples harden in excitement,
her breathing unsteady.

"Jake!" She tried to push him away, but her fingers caught in the
opening of his shirt, tangling with the dark hairs on his chest. A
molten fever suddenly seemed to possess her, her senses blind to
everything but the warm silk of his flesh beneath her fingers.

Jake's hand left her breast to find the hollow of her back,

holding her
against him, the sensitive tips of her breasts aroused by the

intimate
contact with his body. His tongue stroked over her bottom lip, her
mouth parting achingly for his kiss.

She was being sucked down into a giddy whirlpool of pleasure, her

whole
world enclosed by the heat of Jake's body and the pressure of his

mouth
on hers. She arched helplessly against him, mindless in her desire

to
communicate to him her need.

When he suddenly released her the shock was so great that Kelly

clung
instinctively to his shoulders.

"Oh no, Kelly," Jake murmured slowly, his eyes moving deliberately

over
her still aroused body.

"I've paid my debts. You hired me as a bodyguard, not a lover,
remember."

Nausea churned through her, humiliation a sour taste in her mouth.

He
knew that she had wanted him--he had deliberately aroused her just

to
prove to her that he could make her want him.

"I don't want you," she lied bitterly.

"I could never want a man like you."

"You're a liar, Kelly," Jake told her softly.

"And you don't even begin to know the first thing about a man like

me.
One day you're going to stop living in the past with your ghosts,

and
you're going to admit that you're a real live woman,

with real live emotions and feelings. "

He was gone before she could retort; before she could tell him

that she
would never feel anything for him. God, how she hated him, loathed
him, loathed herself for responding to him! She walked blindly into
the bathroom, shivering as she ran the water, but no matter how

much
she scrubbed her soft skin she couldn't wash away the memory of him
touching her, caressing her, bringing her to life in a way she had
never been before.


الساعة الآن 01:43 AM.

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